By Steven Ginsberg
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, January 26, 1998; Page F07

Shut up! is what you want to say to the person sitting next to you. She's talking -- shouting is more like it -- on the phone, crinkling potato chip wrappers and smacking her gum. This cubicle wall just isn't cutting it for privacy.

What's worse, you're depending on this annoying co-worker to help you finish a project.

So what should you do? Should you say something directly to the offender and risk an even more uncomfortable situation? Should you alert a supervisor and hope he finds a diplomatic solution? Or should you continue to bite your lip and hope the annoyances will just stop?

Dealing with an offensive neighbor is something everyone encounters at some point in a career. The first impulse is to say something, to react in some way. That might not always be wise, though, because you could end up hurting your own reputation by looking like a tattletale or a whiner. Nevertheless, in the open atmosphere of today's work world, some companies suggest, and even encourage, employees to speak up.

Discretion is the key when it comes to employee-employee grievances; decide when it's worth taking a stand and when it's better to back off. Rarely would gum chewing, for example, merit intervention. But if a co-worker is slacking off and his shortcomings are reflecting poorly on you, it's probably time to have a little heart to heart.

We talked to experts in various fields to see what they suggest doing about the different ways co-workers can drive each other crazy. Here's what they said:

Got a Complaint? Speak Up

If you think things can get a little fiery at your office, try working for advertising titan Earle Palmer Brown Associates Inc., where strict deadlines and fragile egos abound.

"The biggest factor is the deadlines," said Michael Rowland, general manager at the Bethesda firm. "They create more anxiety and there can be an accusatory subtext to outbursts. And it gets heated because of the layers of ego."

As a result, employees can get fed up with one another pretty fast, Rowland said. When that happens, employees should first talk to the person with whom they are annoyed in a collected, constructive manner, Rowland said. Failing that, employees should bring the problem to the attention of a manager.

"I think that, yes, it is an employee's responsibility" to voice problems, Rowland said.

In creative, team-oriented environments such as advertising agencies, flare-ups are to be expected, he said. Thus, openness and candor are the best ways to smooth over situations and maintain high productivity.

"These are not cases of 'I'm right and you're wrong.' What you've got to do is restore decorum and get to a rational solution."

Still, Rowland acknowledged that there can be unhappy consequences. There may be a short-term feeling of guilt for the complainer or a sense of mistrust among

co-workers, he said, adding that the feeling will only linger if there is a "persuasive paranoia" in the company. "We don't penalize people for bringing things to attention," Rowland said.

Diverse Cultures, Diverse Problems

In multinational companies, a whole different set of problems can crop up. At Mobil Corp., which has 43,000 employees in 150 countries, the meshing of dozens of different cultures inevitably leads to problems.

Often foreign employees come to the Fairfax head-quarters on temporary assignments, said spokesman Bill Cummings.

Employees ought to be very careful about raising a complaint -- it's possible that the annoyance arises from cultural differences, he said.

Another bad reaction would be to stew and stymie the production of the team, only to find out later that a co-worker's nagging habit is perfectly acceptable in his native country. To prevent such a situation, your best course of action is to explain your position to the co-worker in a straight-forward manner. Chances are he has his own gripes about you, and you'll both be grateful for the education.

Cummings also pointed out that employees need to be certain of everyone's role before grumbling about a visiting colleague's productivity. Often, because of language and cultural differences, foreign workers aren't asked to contribute as much as the Fairfax-based employees, he said.

Other personal complaints at Mobil are handled within its hierarchical structure. Like most companies, Mobil recommends airing problems. The best thing for employees is to speak directly to the person they have a problem with, Cummings said. This would apply to everyday types of disputes, such as noisy neighbors.

"A disruption on any level causes a ripple effect," Cummings said, "therefore communication is encouraged. Productivity wins out over personal feelings; we don't look on it as individuals but as members of a team, and sometimes you need to help make people functional members."

But Cummings cautions that before confronting a co-worker, "you better be sure you're not doing something similar. This requires a pretty fair self-evaluation."

Union Guidelines Set the Tone

Companies that operate with unions have guidelines established to handle all sorts of matters, including employee-employee rifts, said Roger Newell, senior staff member of the Teamsters.

One recourse is to file a grievance. This is an especially useful option if the complaint is about a manager, but it can be a bit harsh, and time-consuming if it only concerns a minor problem with a same-level staffer, Newell said.

A better option is to speak to the shop steward. Stewards serve as on-site union representatives, and there's one wherever there's a union, Newell said. The steward is charged with smoothing out employee complaints no matter their severity, so they are well trained in handling touchy situations. They also provide an easy out, since stewards generally don't reveal the complainer's name.

"If someone is talking loud on the phone and the union steward is a person people respect, you can go to him, and if he agrees with you he'll speak to the individual," Newell said.

Because it's the steward's job to handle such matters, people don't usually get mad at him or recoil at his suggestions, Newell said. The stewards also are the people to go to with more egregious complaints, such as health and safety issues.

But employees shouldn't rely on the steward to settle all disputes, Newell said. "If someone chews gum too loud, or there are certain things in the workplace environment you don't like, they're not necessarily union issues."

Thus, Newell's advice is similar to that for employees in non-union workplaces: Talk to colleagues one-to-one.

"You're going to have interpersonal problems wherever you are," he said. "The best thing, in a union or not, is to work out what the issue is with that person, because they just might not be aware of it."

If you have questions about getting ahead, you can e-mail Steven Ginsberg at ginsbergs@washpost.com