By Sarah Schafer
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, October 26, 1998; Page F09

I got a call the other day from someone who wanted to know if I had any contacts at some organizations he wanted to work for. I cringed.

Not that I don't think the guy is a good worker, or smart, or competent. But there are a couple of reasons why I felt uncomfortable. First of all, I don't have any clout. So if this person thought I could wave a magic wand, he was mistaken.

But more importantly, I don't know him very well. In the end, I told my acquaintance that it would probably be just as easy for him to look up the right people to contact as it would for me.

Maybe not the truest thing I could have said. But it solved my problem.

Chances are you've worried over being a reference. Or, you've struggled to find the perfect reference for yourself. We asked the experts to tell us how to get the most out of references, how to be a good one, and how to say politely, "You're crazy if you think I'm putting my name on the line for you."

Available Upon Request

To make this task of calling references easy on your potential employer, give him or her a sheet of paper with the name, title and company of the person to call along with the phone number and the best time to reach that person.

In your rush to appear organized you might be tempted to hand the employer your reference list when you go for your first interview. It's better to wait, though, said Alan Bernstein, career counselor and founder of Alan Bernstein CSWPC in New York. "After the interview you know what the [interviewer] is looking for," said Bernstein.

Use what you've learned in the interview as you decide whom to ask for a referral. Also, let your references know what qualities they should focus on. Did the interviewer talk about traveling for the job, for example? Perhaps your reference could bring up the fact that you traveled 40 percent of the time when you worked for him or her.

When you do hand over your list of references, think hard about the story you want this list to tell, just as you would when writing your resume.

"We're an architectural firm and if I was interviewing someone here and got a reference who was a family attorney, it would be like, 'So what?'" said Martin.

Also, listing perhaps one peer as a reference is fine, but any more and "it says this is a person who has never worked," he said.

No matter whom you list on your reference sheet, make sure you keep those people informed. Imagine your dream employer calling your reference, only to endure a long silence as the person tries to remember who you are.

The Written Word

For example, if you work for a busy senator who would be impossible to reach, you might want a general letter of recommendation to present to future employers.

With letters, the more guidance you give to the writer, the better.

"For most people [writing the letter] is kind of a chore," Bernstein said. "Don't be embarrassed to say you'd be happy to write some notes for the person."

If you're still in college, or even if you're out, you might want to check with your school's career office to see if it has a credentials service such as the one at the University of Maryland's Career Center. The center maintains files of reference letters for students that potential employers or the students can request. "We have some files that go back to the 1960s," said Cheryl Hiller, program director and career counselor at the center.

Employers typically only use these letters as backups, Hiller said, relying on them when they can't get in touch with references by phone. Or, if a candidate is applying to graduate school and needs confidential letters of recommendation, the center can act as a go-between.

When You Get the Call

"Many companies have adopted a name, rank and serial number policy," said Michael Karpeles, partner and head of the employment law group for Goldberg Kohn in Chicago. The reason: They are afraid of being sued.

There are three common charges an employee can bring against a company when it comes to a negative reference: defamation, tortious interference with a contract or tortious interference with a business advantage. In English, if the employee doesn't get a job because you maliciously slammed him, you could be in trouble.

If you do not have a straightforward policy, you might want to limit your comments to positive ones. If you have nothing nice to say, simply say the person did indeed work for your company. If you feel the need to say more, be certain of two things. First, that what you are telling the employer is absolutely 100 percent true and, second, that you have no spiteful intentions.

"Giving out truthful information does not mean you won't get sued but it generally is a complete defense," said Karpeles. And with tortious interference of contract or of business advantage, usually the person suing you would need to prove that you somehow were out to get him. For example, if you have documented proof that the subject has caused workplace violence and you share this with a potential employer, you can be fairly certain the court would understand you were hoping to prevent violence, not simply trying to destroy someone's career because you didn't like the person.

Hopefully you won't have to face these issues. You probably will have simpler questions with which to grapple. For example, if someone you like and respect asks you to be a reference, how can you be a good one?

When company representatives call for input on a job candidate, often they will fill you in on the position and what it requires before asking you to spout off on the person's work habits. Pay close attention and then tailor your referral to this particular position instead of delivering a ready-made speech.

And by all means, know your limitations. If someone asks you to write a letter of recommendation and you are not a good writer, "you might do them more harm than good," said Hiller. In this instance, explain that you would love to give a referral for the person over the phone, but you feel your letter-writing might not be as strong as someone else's in the person's network. If you make it clear that you're worried about your own shortcomings and not the subject's, the individual should walk away unfazed.

This strategy also works when you just plain don't want to vouch for someone. Sure, you might not like the person, but you don't have to ruin his ego. Instead, tell him that you really aren't well versed in the field he's trying to break into. Or, tell him you get nervous when talking to people and might come off as strange. Remember, being a reference for someone puts your reputation on the line. So don't be pressured into it.

Questions about getting ahead? E-mail Sarah Schafer at schafers@washpost.com