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Of course, physical signs and symptoms of substance abuse depend on the substance being used. But common problems include changes in sleep patterns, appetite or mood. Other signs to look for: dilated or constricted pupils, lethargy or excessive drowsiness, slurred speech, recurrent sinus problems and excessive excitability or pressured speech.

Stick to Your Guns
To successfully "negotiate" the difficult situations that arise when relatives might be involved in substance abuse, follow these principles:

• The only person you can change is yourself. Do not alter your principles or behavior to make peace with addictive behavior. Consider getting help for yourself through Al-Anon or through other group or individual counseling.
• Do not give money or possessions to someone you suspect is engaging in addictive or abusive behavior despite begging or pleading. Set limits; express your thoughts and concerns without nagging. Maintain boundaries.
• Do not "fix" things for people who ask you to lie, make excuses or alibis for them. Maintain your integrity.
• Do not bend rules or withdraw if you are a parent. Set rules and stick to them. You do not have to be totally inflexible, but it is important to maintain contact over rules, know what activities are going on and stay "hands-on."

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