I turned on the NBA the other day -- I hadn't watched a game since the Pistons-Pacers brawl, not in protest or anything, but because my TiVo only has a 35-hour capacity and most of that is taken up by Medical Hair Restoration infomercials -- and, well, nothing seemed to be in place.
Chris Webber was playing for the 76ers.
| _____ Monday Morning_____
A look back at the weekend and a look ahead at the coming week's action with a fresh new edge.
• Norman Chad's Couch Slouch
• Starting Lineup
• The Chat: Ex-Squiggy from "Laverne and Shirley" and present associate scout for the Seattle Mariners David Lander
• 7 Days
• The Review: Electronic Arts' "FIFA Street"
_____ The Quote _____
"I have no idea why they invited me. Maybe it's because I'm a music lover."
-- Mike Tyson, pugilist and budding Renaissance man, on why he was paid $92,460 to attend the San Remo Festival as a celebrity guest last week in Italy. _____ The Monday Morning Poll _____
Note: This is an unscientific survey of washingtonpost.com readers.
| | |
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Baron Davis was playing for the Warriors.
Glenn Robinson was still playing -- why, I'm not sure.
Dale Davis was playing for the Hornets.
Keith Van Horn was playing for the Mavericks.
I called the commissioner's office and half-expected Gary Bettman to answer.
(Heck, Antoine Walker was back in Boston, which makes about as much sense as if David Caruso had returned to "NYPD Blue.")
The NBA has become a quote acrostic puzzle, and I've never solved a single one of those babies.
When the trade deadline came, almost 10 percent of the league's players had switched teams. Let me repeat that: Almost 10 percent of the league's players switched teams. That would be like the New York Philharmonic replacing its entire percussion section between concerts.*
(*Note: This is a preposterous observation on my part. I couldn't identify the New York Philharmonic if it landed in my lap, and I don't know Prokofiev from Prince.**)
(**What I mean to say is it's an even more preposterous observation on my part than usual. I don't know if anyone's noticed, but I have a fairly shallow depth of knowledge, and most everything I refer to comes from TV Land, "Entertainment Tonight" or the back of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios boxes.)
Anyway, folks are walking up to me left and right in bowling alleys asking, "Hey, Slouch, can you analyze this re-jiggered NBA?"
Sure, I can -- it's not like it's the Helsinki Accords or anything.
