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Who's on First?

No TV outlet yet. No radio outlet yet, but they're working on an FM deal. Maybe they'll go straight from heavy metal head-banging sets into the pregame show. ("That was Megadeth with 'Moto Psycho.' Now here are the starting pitchers for tonight's game against the Cubs.")

No announcers yet. (Never fear: Charlie Brotman is gargling saltwater in case they need him.) But there's late word they may petition for a green card and bring down the old Expos broadcaster. So let's all brush up on our French, people. My feeling is the whole point was to get as far away from the Expos as possible. If you want to recreate the Expos, stay in Montreal.

A team of no-names, we won't be tell Nationals outfielder Jose Guillen, left, from pitcher Zach Day without a program. (Jonathan Newton -- The Washington Post)

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The general manager is on loan from "Cold Pizza," where he sits on a couch and talks fantasy trades. How confident are you in him?

The stadium hasn't been used for baseball in over 30 years. We're told it'll be as good as new when baseball starts. But there hasn't been a sellout crowd there since The Squire was alive -- and that's so long ago half my readers may not know who The Squire was. (Google "Coco" and "Marlena" and "throwing shoes" to find out.) What if the seats are all rusted? What if they can't get the temporary stands out of the way, and it's only 205 down the line in left?

Washington has been an American League city forever. First with the Senators, and for the last 30-plus years with the Orioles. We don't know anything about the Montreal Expos, other than they were a vagabond team that played in Canada and Puerto Rico, and would have played on barges in the Mississippi River if anybody would have come to see them. Bud Selig tried 5,000 different ways to make the Expos popular in Canada. He did everything but make Shania Twain the second baseman. Nothing worked. Finally, they were relocated.

Now they're Our Nats. (God only knows who they are, but in time perhaps Josh Karp will be as familiar to us as Ted Kennedy.) Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that we've got baseball. I've been here 25 years now, and this is the first time I'll be able to watch a major league game without needing to call somebody "Hon" to get a seat. But with all the waiting until Selig finally decided to give us a team, and then all the nervousness when Cropp declared everybody had to kiss her behind before the team could come here, we've sort of lost track of how quickly the season will begin and how scarce any public sightings of anybody who actually plays for the Washington Nationals have been.

I walk around town and I see a lot of people wearing red home hats and blue road hats embroidered with white script W's. And the W is not for the current President. That "W" is for Washington. It seems to me there are a lot of us taking it on faith that in a few weeks time the baseball season will open, and the Washington Nationals will be on the field, in the box scores and in the official standings.

It's faith that binds us now.

Faith, hope and, I guess, Tomo Ohka.

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