"We ended up with a moon bounce with a panda on it," said group president Derek Sweetman.
The fact that such discussions even occur, some sociologists say, is a sign of progress. A generation ago, many social workers told families adopting internationally to assimilate their children as much as possible. The belief was that the children would be more confused if their cultural heritage was emphasized.
At China Garden in Arlington, families with adopted children from China gather for their annual Lunar New Year celebration.
(Marvin Joseph -- The Washington Post)
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In recent years, many of those adoptees have spoken out against that philosophy. A few have published blistering memoirs. Nearly all cross-racial adoption experts now promote a bicultural approach. But there are no definite answers on how much of the child's previous culture to adopt, partly because each family's situation is unique. The current average age of adopted Chinese children is 7, and experts say adolescence is usually the period when children -- adopted or not -- explore identity questions.
Richard Tessler, a University of Massachusetts sociologist who recently surveyed about 500 such families, said many of the children appear to have developed cultural pride. But, he said, the most significant finding has been the children's on society.
"It's not just the adoptive parents who are being introduced to Chinese culture but also grandparents and neighbors and the children's day-care center," said Tessler, a father of two Chinese girls, who co-wrote "West Meets East," a book about adoptions of Chinese children. "When the kids go to school, the families advocate for a multicultural curriculum."
Many of the couples are well-educated, financially comfortable and starting a family late in life. Adopting a child can mean a commitment of as much as $15,000 and a two-week trip to China.
Within the Chinese immigrant community, such families also are provoking some soul searching.
Only recently have Asian American groups reached out to the families of Chinese adoptees. For the older generation of immigrants, adoption is taboo. Some younger Asian Americans privately worry that efforts of white parents to learn about Chinese culture seem disingenuous.
Rita Lewi, a Chinese immigrant who helped start a language program last year for adoptive families, said that both sides are discovering more similarities than differences. "We all want the same things for our children," said Lewi, who has a teenage daughter who embraces Chinese culture and a son who she said does not. "We want our kids to know they are not alone."
As an adoptive father, David Thompson of Clifton is discovering new emotions. He buys Chinese knickknacks and wonders whether it's goofy. He feels outraged when he hears a radio show host mimic Chinese speech.
As he prepared for a Lunar New Year party with other families with adopted children, he fretted over a detail: Should 2-year-old Amelia wear a Chinese-style dress or not?
That night, at the China Garden restaurant in Rosslyn, Amelia was wearing the dress -- a green, printed number with Mandarin collar.
Toddling out onto the banquet hall's dance floor, she was surrounded by other adopted children. The little girl grinned, and from where he sat with other parents, Thompson smiled back.
For the moment, at least, Thompson had no identity problems.
