Ask Tom

Wearing Jeans, Kids (Again)

In a city loaded with diverse restaurants, from New American chic and upscale Italian to sandwich shops and burritos on the run, finding the best places to eat can be a real puzzle. Where's the best restaurant for a first date or an anniversary? Father's Day? What's the best burger joint? Who has the best service?

Ask Tom. Tom Sietsema, The Washington Post's food critic, is on hand Wednesdays at 11 a.m. ET to answer your questions, listen to your suggestions and even entertain your complaints about Washington dining. Sietsema, a veteran food writer, has sampled the wares and worked as a critic in Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and Milwaukee, and can talk restaurants with the best of 'em. Tom's Sunday magazine reviews, as well as his "Ask Tom" column, are available early on the Web.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Tom Sietsema: Early this morning, The James Beard Foundation announced nominees for its forthcoming awards gala in New York. I'm happy to report that Michael Flynn, the sommelier from Kinkead's, was nominated for a national award, in the best wine service category; and that Frank Ruta of Palena, Fabio Trabbocchi of Maestro, Mark Furstenberg of Breadline and Todd Gray of Equinox were all nominated for Best Chef/Mid-Atlantic (along with Mark Vetri of Vetri in Philadelphia).

Onward!

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Washington, DC: After reading the blurb about Oya today, I thought that all DC needs is another expensive restaurant. Actually, DC needs affordable places. Thanks for the critical eye on Oya's prices. What affordable places in the District are you recommending these days? All types of food are OK. Affordable is entrees under $15, Apps. under $8. My favorite affordables include: 2 Amy's,Zaytinya, Jaleo, Cafe Asia, Lebanese Taverna, Matchbox, Rice, City Lights, Kotobuki and Burma. What should be added to this list. Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: With a few exceptions, yours is a pretty good list. I'd add CF Folks, Colorado Kitchen, Spices, Teaism, and Islander Caribbean to the roster.

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Las Vegas, revisited: Hi Tom, I know you have been asked this, but besides the restaurants you listed in your recent Postcard from Las Vegas, can you suggest a moderately-priced place on the strip for a nice dinner, non-buffet. Less fluff and fance and more ambiance and fun. But something romantic wouldn't be bad. I have a little bit of sticker shock with some of the fine dining prices on the Strip ($30ish entrees) and was hoping to keep entrees in the $20 range. Other posters, feel free to join in!; I am leaving tomorrow...thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: Go, go, go to the Eiffel Tower for lovely French cooking and one of the best views on the Strip. I didn't have space to write about it in my oh-so-short February Postcard.

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Washington, DC: Hi Tom,

The DC Chef's Club About Nothing is holding a fundraiser in May and I would appreciate it if you would post this to your readers. It's shaping up to be a really spectacular event!; See info below.

Thanks.

-Alysa from Galileo

May 16 - Chef's Club Autism Fundraising Dinner
The DC Chef's Club About Nothing Presents A Fundraiser for "One of Our Own",
Chef Jim Swenson, for the care of his son Phillip, diagnosed with Autism.

You may have read about in the Washington Post, but this dinner will be unlike
any other fundraising event you've attended. Each table of 10 will have dinner
prepared before them by one of DC's top chefs.

Date: Monday, May 16, 2005
Location: Park Hyatt, 1201 24th Street NW (Valet Parking: $10)
More information: swensonevent-galileodc.com

6:00 p.m. - Champagne Reception
7:00 p.m. - Chef's Tableside 3-course Dinner
9:00 p.m. - Dessert Lounge

16 Tables, 16 Chefs
Participating Chef's Include:

•Jeff Buben - Vidalia/Bistro Bis
•Roberto Donna -Galileo/Laboratorio/Osteria
•Enzo Febbraro - Fillomena
•Mark Furstenberg- - Breadline
•Todd Gray - Equinox/Market Salamander
•Ris Lacoste - 1789
•Cesare Lanfranconi - Tosca
•Enzo Livia - Spezie/Il Pizzico
•Brian McBride - Melrose at the Park Hyatt
•Kaz Okochi - Kaz Sushi Bistro
•Jeffrey Potter - The Carlyle
•Francesco Ricchi - Cesco
•Michel Richard - Citronelle
•Jim Swenson - National Press Club
•Jeff Tunks - DC Coast/Ten Penh/Ceiba
•Bryan Voltaggio - Charlie Palmer Steak
•Robert Wiedmaier - Marcel's

-Providing bread, will not be cooking tableside.

$150 per person (proceeds from this event will go to the Phillip Nathaniel
Swenson Foundation to provide educational therapy for Phillip Swenson)

For reservations please call Alysa at 202-331-0997 or 202-293-7191.

(We will do our best to seat guests at the table of a chef they request, but we
cannot guarantee that they will be seated with their preferred chef.)

Tom Sietsema: I typically refrain from posting news of charitable events in this forum, as the Food section has a spot for that kind of information every Wednesday. But this sounds like a terrific gathering of Washington talent -- and tells me where I probably WON'T want to eat May 16!

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Washington, DC: Tom, Do you know if Opera is still open? I've called 4 or 5 times over the last couple of days (at different times of the afternoon and evening, including during the hours stated as their business hours), and all I get is an outdated voice message welcoming me and giving me information about the "upcoming" Dining Out For Life event, which occurred weeks ago. I wanted to make a reservation and have even left a message to that effect, asking that they call me back to confirm, but I haven't heard a thing. Do you know anything about their status?

Tom Sietsema: I do not, unfortunately.

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Rockville, MD: Hi Tom!; Are you aware of any places that are serving a Passover Sedar this year? My parents will be in town and we'd like to go out instead of being saddled with days of cooking...THANKS!;

Tom Sietsema: Try Felix in Adams Morgan or Galileo downtown.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom, I have yet to find a good dessert place in DC. Cake Love is the usual suggestion I receive, but I am looking for something else - more like an after dinner destination where I can relax and get something sweet. Coffee shops and cafes in other cities frequently have homemade desserts, anything from cheesecake to gelato to pastries. I am not looking for somewhere that receives all of its desserts through shipments, I am looking for somewhere that makes them on the premises. Do you have any suggestions for a place like this?

Tom Sietsema: Consider the just-opened Leopold's Kafe & Konditorei in Georgetown, which is offering just what you're after.

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Sides Lover, DC: I went to a (disclosed) fairly upscale restaurant in Northwest last weekend, and to my surprise, there were no side items listed with the entrees. Not even an "All items served with x, y and z" or a separate a la carte side menu. I ended up asking what my top entree choices came with, and it was something different for every meal!; By not posting the sides on the menu, is the restaurant trying to add an air of arrogance or fanciness? Is this a trend with more upscale restaurants? I felt sorry for the servers - it was a lot for them to remember. Very curious - thanks, Tom!;

Tom Sietsema: I'd love to know where you supped. Not listing sides is not good business. Often, I'm the kind of guy who picks his entree based on what its accessories are.

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Rockville, Maryland: Tom - Happy hump day!; I'm interested in locating some god food reading focusing on gastronomy, restaurants behind the scenes, or dining out (think Kitchen Confidential). Any recommendations? (I know you've been a contributor in some publications)

Tom Sietsema: I recently finished reading Ruth Reichl's engaging new book, "Garlic and Sapphires, The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise," and found it to be honest, funny and thought-provoking. That's a start.

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Fairfax, VA: Tom, Please, please, pretty please help me.
I have a friend coming from NY who lived in DC before she moved. Which places do you recommend which are non-Italian and vegetarian friendly for dinner and drinks afterwards

Tom Sietsema: This is going to sound like a broken record, but you can't beat Zaytinya for both vegetarian choices and cocktails.

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Northern VA: Re: kids and dining. I've seen alot of comments about that lately. I am always perplexed when I see parents having dinner with a toddler or 5-year-old child pretty late at night. I always wonder what they were trying to accomplish. Were they trying to keep them awake for as long as possible? Or they just didn't have food in the house or didn't want to cook? It's silly to expect a 5-year-old child to act perfectly in a restaurant -- especially when they don't really cater to kids. I was at a restaurant in Old Town and we were getting ready to leave. This was around 8, I believe. A big group of parents, babies and children under 6 came in. The staff gave the older children pizza dough to play with. I thought that was a great way to keep them busy. I have a child and I wouldn't thought to take him out that late when he was younger. He's 12 years old now and can handle late dining past 8 pm on occasion. Then he gets cranky if it goes past 10 or 11. That's how I know when to schedule it if a friend invites us out for dinner. Unless they couldn't find a babysitter, they would be better off exposing their toddlers to the restaurant world (i.e. different cultures) at lunchtime or early afternoon. I've taken my child to French, Ethiopian, German and Syrian restaurants. Spanish is next on the list. It's all about the timing and what you had to do that day then they will really enjoy eating out. I don't see why some of the parents couldn't do the same. If they get cranky; the best thing to do would be leaving! Don't force them to stay beyond their limits just so you can finish your food. You can have your food wrapped up so you can take care of your child. I think your child would take precedence over your wine and prepared food. I've always wanted to comment on that so thank you for letting me say my 2 cents!

Tom Sietsema: Your missive is perfect. No need for me to comment.

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Tom- You'll be my best friend if you answer my question. My parents are visiting next week and my dad has never been to DC. They consider themselves to have sophisticated taste but don't live in an area with very interesting restaurants. I want to take them to two very nice meals and two casual meals. What would you choose. Thanks, Best Friends Forever.

Tom Sietsema: Nice meals: 1789 for its sense of history and innovative American cooking and Citronelle for some of the most dazzling food you'll find anywhere in the country.

Casual meals: Pizza at Two Amy's near the cathedral and Johnny's Half Shell for great local seafood cooking.

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Arlington, VA: I am curious regarding the "casualification" of dining these days. My husband and I were recently celebrating our first anniversary at the Capital Grille in Philadelphia. Owing to the special-ness of the evening for us, we were dressed up, but I didn't think over dressed for such an expensive place: I wore a beaded top and black pants, and he wore a dark suit. Granted, he would have been fine in khakis and a sport coat, and I in something comparably casual, but I was APPALLED to see people in jeans and T-shirts. Shouldn't dining out (especially at a place where dinner for 2 is not exactly cheap) be an event, for which one changes one's clothes? Or at least doesn't wear jeans??? It really ruined the experience. Why do you think people have gotten more casual about their dining attire?

Tom Sietsema: Alas, people are more casual about EVERYTHING: responding to invitations, talking on cell phones in crowded public areas -- you name it. My feeling is, a diner should dress to fit in. Jeans and snickers in a steak house are simply not appropriate.

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Re: Children dining out late: I agree totally with the poster, but be prepared, Tom, for the parental floodgates of wrath to open!; Too many parents consider only their needs & desires, and not the needs & wants of their children, or heaven forbid, fellow diners.

Tom Sietsema: I'm bracing myself ....

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Washington, DC: Tom, please don't laugh at me (or worse, yell) for asking this: have you done a postcard for Disney World? I ask for a truly respectable reason. Looking for an adult place (i.e. no characters) to celebrate a special anniversary brunch while at Disney. Looking for great, upscale food, mimosas, etc. Or maybe the chatters know? Much appreciated!;

Tom Sietsema: Probably the best restaurant there is California Grill (at least that's the name I recall). Great wine list, solid cooking, no Mickeys or Minnies to bother you.

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Cheverly, MD: Follow-up comment to ID discussion.
I'm a 30-year-old woman, but look younger, as do several of my female friends. More than once I and the other women at my table have been asked for IDs, but the men (who are the same age as us) were not!;!; These were our husbands, also 30. The waiter treated us like we were giggly girls who had tricked older men into taking us out to dinner. The waiter actually said "I need to see the girls' IDs."
Note to all waitstaff: most patrons know you need to see IDs, we live in the same litigious society you do. But treat us with respect, and treat everyone at the table the same way!;!;
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, Tom.

Tom Sietsema: I'm happy to oblige. Do you hear that, ID checkers?

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Arlington, VA: Hey Tom. Been thinking about the issue raised in last week's chat about cranky posters who only have negative things to say about their dining experiences. In reading Kim O'Donnell's cooking chat on Tuesday (which I'm sure a lot of your other readers do regularly as well), it struck me how critical people are of dining out, and how laid back they are about their own cooking mishaps. Somebody will write into Kim's chat about a cooking experiment gone horribly wrong, ask for advice, and laugh it off. But go out to eat and get a less than stellar meal or a perceived slight from a waiter and people are up in arms demanding a free meal.

Dining out has become too high pressure around here. People deal with traffic and parking and endure waits of 90 minutes or more. Then they expect the meal to be so completely flawless that they're setting themselves up to be disappointed. Take dining out for what it is -- a nice break from cooking and cleaning up at home -- and enjoy a fabulous meal when you get it. When it doesn't quite meet expectations, grow up and get over it.

Maybe the people writing in to complain that their salad didn't have the right mix of leaves or that a white napkin left lint on a black dress should stay home, turn on the oven, and try to turn out a three-course meal for four. As Kim's readers point out over and over, cooking isn't always as easy as it seems.

Tom Sietsema: Boy, I could devote an hour to responding to just these comments! But let me try to address your major points in a few sentences:

People are more critical of food cooked away from home because they're paying (a lot, in some cases) for what they hope to be the work of professionals. I don't think there's anything wrong with diners who want their steak to be cooked the way they ask or for their red wine to be slightly cool to the touch. Nor should anyone paying, say, $100 for two leave a restaurant table unhappy about the experience. Even professionals make mistakes, however, and good restaurants know how to remedy problems before customers depart -- and before problems escalate (and drift into fodder for forums such as this one).

As you point out, Washington is a high-stress place to live. The traffic is horrible. Everyone seems to be on deadline. I DO think SOME diners take out their anger on restaurants in a way that they would never vent before their doctors, brokers, mechanics and hair stylists. And I think that's because food is very personal and food elicits strong feelings going back to childhood in some cases.

Running a restaurant is no easy task and I have great admiration for those people -- busboys, servers, line cooks, dishwashers, pastry chefs, sommeliers, receptionists, coat checkers -- who do what they do well. It's a real balancing act every meal, juggling 100 whims and making everything look smooth. Diners would do well to remember that.

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Washington, DC: Call me ignorant, but aren't almost all restaurants "gay friendly?"
If not, is there a way they could advertise this fact that would be more non-chalant, and not be such a turn-off to non-gay patrons (I am referring to giant flags, etc).

Tom Sietsema: Yes, I suppose most DC restaurants are gay-friendly. I'm not sure what's bothering you, though: rainbow flags?

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Alexandria VA: I am taking my husband to Restaurant Eve for his birthday next month - any suggestions or comments? We are doing the tasting room.

Tom Sietsema: Even if you don't drink cocktails, order one here. Todd Thrasher and crew whip up some mighty interesting libations.

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Fairfax, VA: Tom: My husband and I recently had lunch at M&S Grill. I ordered an entree salad and asked if they could add avocado to it. The waiter said it was no problem. But when the bill came, there was a $2.50 charge for the avocado. We told the waiter we were surprised at the charge and wished he had told us about it when we ordered. He just smiled and mumbled something. Do you think we should have refused to pay the extra charge? Or is this the case of an inexperienced waiter?

Tom Sietsema: Have you seen the price of avocados? I'm not surprised you were charged, actually.

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Alexandria, VA: I second the spirit of Northern VA's post about kids and dining. How he/she handles their kids is exactly how my parents handled my brother and I and we dined at all sorts of restaurants from casual to very fancy growing up in the DC area. If we misbehaved, we were immediately removed to the bathroom with the appropriate parent to be warned and/or we left the restaurant. I have a wide range of foods that I like because my parents exposed me to so much growing up and I think all parents should do that for their children, but, as my parents and Northern VA know, there are limits.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for weighing in.

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Washington, DC: I just wanted to write in a positive restaurant experience. My husband and I had reservations at Palena for my birthday. We ended up leaving without ordering as we were upset at the indifferent treatment we received from our server (10 minute wait to even be acknowledged, no water, menus tossed down to us like paper airplanes, etc). We simply wanted a nice evening out and did not feel like complaining to management. So, imagine our surprise when we received an unsolicited call from the dining room manager at Palena inquiring about the situation, apologizing, and inviting us back for dinner on the house even though I said repeatedly that wasn't necessary. I felt this was amazing customer service by the restaurant and am, of course, more than willing to give them another try. Just wanted to put in a positive comment!; Thanks for your great chats.

Tom Sietsema: SMART manager there.

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Takoma Park, MD: I'm on a tight budget but would like to try some of your three star restaurants. It seems a good time to do this is at lunch (with cheaper lunch menus). Will I receive the same quality food at lunch? Do you eat a lunch meal while writing reviews? Thanks

Tom Sietsema: I like your idea! It is something I've practiced abroad, when I've wanted to try the Michelin-starred places but didn't have a ton of cash to spare. The quality at lunch is just as high, but the menu might be slightly abbreviated. (And yes, I review lunches as well as dinners, bar menus, breakfasts and whatever else a restaurant cares to offer.)

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Washington, DC: Wanted to share an experience I had at Sette:

Craving some Italian food, we thought we would give Sette a try. We went there at about 7:30, Sunday night (Easter Sunday -- wanted to post last week but didn't get to it). I was a party of two, and the hostess told us the wait would be 15-20 minutes. There was no one else waiting and there were two four seater tables right in front of us, totally empty. We asked why we couldn't be sat there and she said "we don't sit parties of two at tables for four. It's dinner rush hour now."

Excuse me?

Now I was once a hostess and I can understand if there is a huge list then yes, a party of four might get a slight bump up if a table for four opened up first. However this was clearly not the case as we were the only ones waiting!; I asked her "so, customers who aren't here yet, and might not even show up, get priority over customers who are here right now?" She very rudely answered yes like this was totally normal. In what world is this normal? It felt like an episode of Seinfeld!;

Needless to say we left promptly and had a wonderful meal at Odeon cafe up the street and will never return to Sette again!;

Tom Sietsema: I can understand a restaurant not wanting to put two people at a table for four when the place is busy, but when no there are tables to spare and no quartet in sight, it's silly not to seat patrons. And shame on the hostess for such a lame response!

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Washington, D.C.: Just a brief comment: Visited Dallas, Texas recently and enjoyed a wonderful meal at a restaurant called Abacus. Be sure to check it out if you ever find yourself in "Big D."

Tom Sietsema: I've heard terrific things about its chef.

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Rainbow flags:
These are usually an indicator that the business is gay-owned and operated and usually only found in areas like Dupont Circle and Adams Morgan, which boast large gay populations.

If you don't like them, go eat in Woodbridge!;

Tom Sietsema: Hey, now!

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Washington, DC: Re: Dining with a toddler: My husband and I frequently take our toddler (18 months) to restaurants, often fairly late in the evening. She is a night owl and still pretty much on her own schedule, and it often isn't until 8 or 9 p.m. that she is ready to settle down for an evening meal (earlier in the evening, she wants to run around and play). That being said, I can't imagine that we'd take her any place too fancy at that hour, especially a place where other diners might be expecting a quiet or romantic atmosphere. We tend to favor more lively ethnic or family-style restaurants.

Anyway, I ask that you not judge parents too harshly just for taking children out later in the evening (unless a child is obviously tired and cranky and the parents aren't doing anything to stop the disturbance), as all families have their own schedules. I know that our daughter is better behaved later in the day, when she starts winding down.

Tom Sietsema: Getting lots of feedback on this topic, including this:

Arlington, VA: As a father with a two year old who enjoys fine dining I have been reading the debate about children dining. I have not commented previously, but that well written opinion earlier has prompted me to enter the fray. I second what that parent said, and would add that if you see a family walking in to a restaurant do not assume that the child will misbehave, shoot disapproving glances, and start looking for opportunities to tsk. My family eats out no later than 6:30, we expect our child to behave and leave if she doesn't. You wouldn't believe the looks I get at some restaurants (at 6pm!) from people when my daughter laughs at things such as entertainment from the server (and no, not shreaking laughter). Many people (including parents) need to be a little less selfish and a little more patient.

Ok, enough from my soapbox. Since, I can't just leave without providing a "tip." Bangkok 54 not only has fantastic curry, it is GREAT with kids. On our last visit all the servers stopped by to say hello to our daughter and the daughter of the family that owns the restaurant was very friendly even showing us pictures of her toddler. And did I mention the curry?

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Alexandria, VA: I thought I recognized you while my wife and I were dining the other night. Then I realized I was staring at a WP Mark Trail comic someone tacked onto the wall. Seriously though, is the reason you have a cartoon picture for this chat because you need to remain anonymous while dining out? It would make sense, I'm just curious.

Tom Sietsema: You got it!

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Re: Attire: But when my jeans cost more than my dinner in said fancy restaurants and I wear them with a lovely top and nice shoes am I still to be taken to task for the place that jeans now occupy in fashion? Would cropped linen pants with the high heels really make me more appropriate? Or would I just look like I came out of a Florida mall?

Tom Sietsema: Interesting question! Let's vote on it:

Jeans (if they're "nice") or No Jeans, Ever?

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Another Takoma Park-er: When you go to lunch at those fancy places and you want to do budget above all, pick between the second and third least expensive items. The least expensive tends to be far less interesting than the other stuff.

- Been there, eaten that, been happy

Tom Sietsema: I'll be looking at such menus even closer now. Thanks for sharing your strategy.

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Third time's the charm?!;?: Tom:

In last week's chat, you stated, "As regulars to this chat know, I'm always happy to report random acts of deliciousness here." If this is truly the case, please consider my THIRD attempt to share just such an act!;

My husband recently treated me to dinner at CityZen for my birthday. We both enjoy good food and new dining experiences and had been looking forward to the event for weeks.

Upon arrival, we were shown to a table in the smaller, side room with a view of the kitchen and the wine cellar on display. At the time we arrived, we were one of two tables seated in the room, with the third, larger table vacant.

Our experience began enjoyably with informed and attentive service (my hesitant request for a vegetarian version of the chef's tasting menu was graciously accommodated), and despite a bit of a slow start for our first course, each course proved delicious, and the atmosphere was ideal for a romantic dinner.

Nearly two hours into our dining experience, however, a large party of ill-mannered individuals arrived to fill the large table in the room. Within minutes, cell phones were being passed, rude jokes were shared, and loud roars of laughter and clapping dominated the room.

When one of our waiters paused to inquire how we were enjoying the evening, my husband mentioned his displeasure with the distraction of the large group. Our waiter apologized but explained there was nothing he could do. We accepted his explanation and continued with our meal. Before the next course, however, a manager came to our table to say he understood we were not satisfied and offered to seat us at a table in the main dining room for the duration of our meal. His quick and gracious reaction to a problem out of the control of the restaurant enabled us to enjoy our special evening.

As if we needed further evidence to commend the service at CityZen, when our waiter learned it was my birthday, two glasses of sparkling dessert wine appeared to complement our cheese and dessert courses. Another graceful but understated gesture which added to our experience.

While CityZen is not a destination I will be able to visit on a frequent basis, the superior service and tremendous food has won two loyal customers.

Thanks for the opportunity to share an excellent dining experience.

Tom Sietsema: Great story (which I recall reading and THOUGHT I had posted). The third time is indeed the charm today.

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Olney, Maryland: Hey Tom, What do you have against Snickers?
Keep up the good work.

Tom Sietsema: Nothing. I love Snickers!

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Dining with children: In my travels to Europe, esp. France and Italy, I couldn't help noticing how frequently I saw young children (above toddler age) dining with their parents in nice restaurants, and how well-behaved they seemed to be. Can't recall a single instance of fuss and bother created by these kids, and therefore other diners never seemed to cringe at the sight of a family being seated. Don't want to open up a Pandora's Box about different child-rearing norms here, but perhaps over-indulgent parents of the "Me first, me second, and me third" type have something to learn from the way Europeans teach their kids to behave in public? (And let me add that these European kids were not automatons, but charming children who seemed to really enjoy their eating adventure.)
Also interested to know whether you or others have noticed the same thing in your travels abroad.

Tom Sietsema: I think I mentioned this in last week's chat. In Barcelona last year, I saw kids eating (and well-behaved) as late as midnight in even the fancy places.

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Over the rainbow: Re: rainbow flags. I live in Crystal City, home to Freddie's, an establishment frequented by gay folks. Freddie's does use the multiple rainbow flags outside to let its affiliation be known. Crystal City is also where many (clueless?) tourists stay, and they venture out to 23rd Street looking for somewhere to eat. I had a very entertaining afternoon once on the Patio at Freddie's: families would walk by, the kids would be attracted to the vibrant colors and fun music coming out of the restaurant, and the family would go inside after looking at the menu. Then they would walk out 5 minutes later after their discovery, with the kids asking "why can't we eat there, mom?" Ah, makes me wonder whether to laugh or cry...

Tom Sietsema: LOL

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Falls Church, VA: Third time the charm??

Chicago-style hot dogs, Chicago-style hot dogs, Chicago-style hot dogs!;!;!;

Tom Sietsema: I seem to recall that Johnny Half Shell serves a Chicago frank at lunch -- but calls it a Baltimore dog.

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Jeans: It doesn't matter how much you spend on your jeans (which nobody sitting around you is going to know or care anyways) - they are still jeans and not appropriate. Would buying Burberry flip flops make it ok to wear THOSE in a nice restaurant? Probably can make an exception for the younger, trendy places (where people may know and actually care) - but the more traditional places - dust off a skirt or some nice pants.

Tom Sietsema: I take that as a "No Jeans, Ever" vote.

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Columbia, MD: Why should the type of restaurant dictate what clothes you wear? Who cares about jeans v. no jeans. Wear what you want as long as it isn't showing too much skin. Why don't those people complaining about how other diners at the restaurant dress relax. You're there to eat and enjoy the food and good service, not to judge the fashion sense of other diners. How ridiculously pretentious!;

Tom Sietsema: And I take THAT as a "Jeans, Almost Anything Goes" vote.

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Washington, DC: I am taking my fiance to dinner at Palena on Saturday night, thanks to the wonderful recommendations I have read on your weekly chats. I'm wondering what you might suggest as appropriate attire?

Thanks in advance!; Your chats are wonderfully informative.

Tom Sietsema: A nice shirt and slacks are fine at Palena, a very sophisticated restaurant that is, style-wise, nevertheless casual.

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Re: dining and kids: Hey, I'm the poster who started it all. I don't judge every parent that come in with their kids late. I don't mind it if their kids are perfectly behaved. Who cares if the kids are laughing? That means most likely they're enjoying themselves!; Better to see a child laugh than cry!; I'm only talking about these who let their kids run wild, throw silverware, have tempers, etc. I've seen it so many times--kids crying and the parents ignoring them and still eating. That's one of my questions about about dining and kids. I'm just saying that when your kid gets cranky, leave the restaurant to make things VERY simple for everyone around. If your kid is a nighttime person; great!; It would make dining out easier, wouldn't it? Mine isn't so that's why I schedule it early in the evening. I'm just wondering about parents on the other end of spectrum. What's their reason?

Tom Sietsema: We're coming full circle here ...

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Re: gay-friendly: Yes, in a sense, most restaurants are. That said, I could fill up this space with off-putting treatment my partner and I have received on several occasions because servers seem unsure or awkward about catering to two women once they realize we are a couple celebrating an anniversary, special/romantic occasion, etc. (and no, we were not kissing, groping, etc.)

I wish I knew what restaurants would give us the extra-special treatment on these few occasions, as I see done for straight couples, but given our experiences, unless we are at Komis or Al Tiramisu, we generally keep our mouths shut about having our special occasion and hope to be treated well. Wish we didn't have to.

Tom Sietsema: That makes me feel rather sad, frankly.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom, Fuddruckers - best burger in the city, or far from it?

Tom Sietsema: Honestly? I've never tried a burger there.

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Washington, DC: A question you got last week about rude waiters and credit card rejections made me think to post the following as a possible way some of the awkwardness of this can be avoided.
I recently had a friend visiting from overseas with a credit card that was issued by a foreign bank. We were having dinner, he paid the check, and the waiter very rudely came back and indicated that his card had been declined. He was completely confused because it was a corporate card, but was otherwise able to cover the check and we just figured it was some fluke with the transmission.
A couple days later we were at the bar at Kramerbooks and he tried to pay the check, same problems. However, the very helpful bartender noticed it was a foreign card and knew that, apparently, on many credit card machines in the United States, foreign card numbers have to be entered in manual. He did so, and viola, our check was paid.
The point is, if waiters are having a card rejected, and it's obviously issued by a foreign bank, they might try to enter the card number in manually before creating an awkward situation with the dining party.
Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: Interesting! Thanks for sharing a possible solution to an awkward situation.

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Washington DC: Tom - I recently moved to Washington from New York. Is it just me, or are the hot dogs at the stands downtown just terrible? Maybe I got spoiled up in NY, but is there any spot you know of that you can recommend? Please help!;!;

Tom Sietsema: Unfortunately, I have not found a hot dog on a cart in Washington that can beat anything offered in the Big Apple.

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Washington DC : Proper attire vs. Jeans: Despite what some people tend to believe these days, jeans and overly casual clothes are not always acceptable, no matter how much your outfit cost. Believe it or not, folks, but dressing up can turn a nice evening into a special and wonderful evening. Try it and you'll see.

Tom Sietsema: There's more ...

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New York, NY: Ooh, fascinating chat today!;

1. Kids/restaurants: From the time I could speak, my parents taught me this phrase: "Restaurant Manners." It meant that wherever we were, I was to behave like I was in a grownup restaurant. I don't even think I associated them with restaurants until I was 7 -- I just thought "restaurant manners" was a phrase that meant "behave."

Parents: If you tell your kids that this place means "restaurant manners," it means that you don't shout, cry, throw a tantrum, etc., or else you will be removed immediately and not allowed to play with the big kids. When the kids are older, associate "restaurant manners" with privilege -- "We're bringing you to a place that's for grownups, so use your restaurant manners, honey!;" My parents used "restaurant manners" on me in libraries, the opera, hotel lobbies, etc... and I traveled everywhere that grownups did with no problems.

2. Yes, jeans are fine. With heels and a fancy top. Dark jeans, though, no acid-washed faded!;

3. To the poster who has a problem with rainbow flags in the window, just... grow up. What, are you afraid people will think you're gay if they catch you walking out of it? Get over it.

Tom Sietsema: You raise some good points herein.

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Silver Spring: My wife is looking for a place to meet a friend for dinner in DC that has outdoor seating. They aren't looking for anything fancy, just good food, the ability to talk without having to shout, and a table that will allow them to enjoy the weather without having to watch out that they aren't run down by folks on the sidewalk and isn't overpowered by fumes from the traffic.

Do you have any suggestions?

Tom Sietsema: The roof of Perry's in Adams Morgan, the garden at Tabard Inn and the patio overlooking the fountain at 701 in Penn Quarter would all be good choices.

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Colombia Heights, DC: I think dressy jeans are fine. Your legs are under the table where no one can see them, anyway!;

Tom Sietsema: Now that's another way of looking at the situation.

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No jeans, ever!;: Just because clothing is expensive doesn't make it appropriate. Would you wear a little black cocktail dress or a wedding dress to a funeral?

Tom Sietsema: Where is Robin Givhan when I need her?

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Olney, MD: But wait, what's better?

Nice jeans and top, or

Ratty old suit, unwashed and unpressed?

Tom Sietsema: The deal is, some of us see a lot more jeans than we do "ratty old suits."

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Anonymous: I've seen bathing suits that cost more than a nice restaurant meal too, but that doesn't mean it's appropriate to wear them to the restaurant. Jeans are understood to be a casual form of dress, ergo, they're not appropriate at a formal dinner.

Tom Sietsema: Looks like the No Jeans folks are in the majority right now.

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Bethesda, MD: I have a work anniversary celebration (early dinner) to plan in the next few weeks and I'm trying to decide between Colvin Run Tavern, Flemings Steakhouse and Old Anglers Inn, for a group of 20-30 people. My menu choices would from their banquet menus and/or tasting menus (Colvin and Anglers have tasting menus). The cost of the meal between any of the choices is not an issue. I'd like to know what you'd recommend.

Tom Sietsema: No question: Colvin Run Tavern is where you want to find yourselves.

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Olney MD: Tom, love you chats. I was wondering. Do you read/participate in the various web bulletin boards about food such as Chowhound, EGullet, etc? I know your reviews are constantly discussed on the DC area dining boards.

Tom Sietsema: I read those (and other food discussion sites) but do not participate. I have my own forum, after all.

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Washington DC: Tom - now with spring/summer coming up - can you recommend any places besides Red Hot & Blue for ribs??

Tom Sietsema: Urban Bar-B-Que Company in Rockville is a current favorite of mine. I'd love to hear what the peanut gallery thinks.

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Reston VA - Scathing Review/Commentary: Tom: Did you see the Tables for Two (The New Yorker recently) commentary/review on V Steakhouse? Absolutely, scathing. If you haven't seen it, its on the web. But my question: What is the most brutal review you've ever seen or given? Or, if you find a place horrific, do you not review it?

Tom Sietsema: I won't go out of my way to write a blistering review of a mom & pop place in the hinterlands -- why waste the time and the space on a place few people have probably heard of? -- but I have no qualms about being brutally honest about a big deal restaurant in the city, or a restaurant that for whatever reason attracts a lot of attention.

I was pretty hard on the late Jordan's, for instance, and Two Quail, a popular Hill destination.

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Steak Tartare: For those wondering, my wife and I finally stumbled upon two extremely good ones: Bistrot du Coin and Les Halles. The latter makes it table side and serves with brioche. Don't get suckered into Charlie Palmer's deconstructed tartare, fancy, but the old school dish doesn't need to be so fussy.

Tom Sietsema: Oh, but I adore CPS's updated version!

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Washington, DC: Tom,

Where are some of the best places for my wife & I to eat with other couples? Are there any places for my wife and I to try for our selves to rekindle that first date feeling?

Thanks!;
Rob

Tom Sietsema: If I understand your question, you're looking for someplace romantic. I'd start with 1789 in Georgetown, the venerable Prime Rib downtown or a corner nook at Palena in Cleveland Park.

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Arlington, VA: I have a wine etiquette question for you. If you order a bottle of wine in a restaurant, they pour you a taste of it so you can approve it. What if you don't like it? I mean, there's nothing WRONG with it - it's not punked or anything like that - you just don't much like the taste of it. What are the rules on that? Have you committed to buying the wine? Are you allowed to say, "you know, it's not what I thought it would be, I don't want that."? I've never done it, but I have gotten wines in restaurants that I don't like very much, but have said yes to because they just opened the bottle for me. Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: In general, I applaud restaurants that offer guests another choice based on the diner's preference. If there's nothing wrong with the wine, chances are good that it can be resold by the glass. There's nothing worse than enjoying a good meal but hating the wine you've ordered.

I'm curious how any restaurateurs out there handle this problem?

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Arlington, VA: Dear Tom:
A few months back I took a friend to Cafe Asia in Arlington for dinner. I had talked up the cafe to no end and was looking forward to an enjoyable evening. However, that wasn't the case. Our food took an inordinate amount of time to arrive and only half the order came out. The waitress paid little to no attention to us. I complained to the manager on duty (this is where it gets a little weird). He apologized and insisted on picking up the check. I told him that it was not necessary. Not only did he pick up the check he then admonished the waitress in front of our table. I was embarrassed. After the waitress apologized he came over to our table and offered to "buy us shots." It was at this point that I declined and exited the restaurant. Is it not inappropriate to try and appease a customer by offering them alcohol? It was such a strange experience that I will never return to Cafe Asia, which is a pity because I do enjoy their food.

Tom Sietsema: That was generous of the manager to pick up the ENTIRE check, but he lost points with me for berating the server in front of you. Talk about bad form! I, too, would have declined the shots, if for no other reason than to get the heck out of there.

Different restaurants take different approaches to customer problems. I don't see anything wrong with offering alcohol as consolation; in this case, though, the extra generosity was extreme and ill-timed.

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Dupont Circle, Washington DC: "Believe it or not, folks, but dressing up can turn a nice evening into a special and wonderful evening. Try it and you'll see."

Huh? Oh, NOW I see. I've been having wonderful evenings wrongly for all these years.

I think I'll decide how to have a wonderful evening myself, thanks.

Tom Sietsema: Wow, comments comin' in fast and furious as we draw to a close ...

Washington, DC: re: jeans or not -

I sympathize with the poster. I definitely have some nice jeans, and they're probably the most flattering clothes i own. I would wear them to a more urban trendy restaurant, but not a place like the Palm (not that i want to eat somewhere like the Palm). I NEVER wear them for other formal things, like going to theater. That's something I'll never understand.


RE: Jeans: I'm on the no jeans, ever side of the debate. One's attire should be in accordance with one's environment. This should be true everywhere, in the office and eating out. A more conservative environment means more conservative clothing.

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Arlington, VA: Dear Tom:
What is your take on visible waitstaff rolling silver wear or eating while in close proximity to diners? Personally I think this behaviour is very unprofessional. I've noticed it is on the rise.

Tom Sietsema: It depends. I find it charming in little holes in the wall, where I've seen families sup between shifts, and less appealing in pricier places, where it looks too relaxed. I know that's a double-standard, but it's simply how I feel.

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Fairfax,VA: Hey Tom, longtime reader first time poster. My ex and I are trying to work things out and I would really like to take her someplace nice. I've had 2941 in Falls Church in mind but I read in last weeks chat that you had reservations about it (no pun intended) although you were getting good feedback from your readers. We're both pretty openminded when it comes to the menu and she really has a great palate for different wines. Any advice? Thanks...

Tom Sietsema: I'd give 2941 a shot, based on reports from the field. Another fine choice in Northern Virginia: Restaurant Eve in Old Town, home to amazing cocktails and first-rate food from Cathal Armstrong.

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Washington, DC: Hi Tom, Thanks for taking my question!; I love your chats!; I have someone coming into town for a special event. She is interested in 100% atmosphere in a restaurant. In other words, the food doesn't have to be fab...it's more about the dining experience. This is for a bachelorette party dinner so we want someplace fun...sorta like a theme restaurant. Any good suggestions for an atmosphere night for dinner? Thanks so much!;

Tom Sietsema: Consider the newly opened Oya in Penn Quarter, which comes with window-walls of water, an amazing fireplace and white leather just about everywhere.

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Germantown, MD: Why don't they make it mandatory that employees who work in restaurants use gloves when preparing food??? It's disgusting to see people handling food with their bare hands...This is how illnesses occur..It's not sanitary at all.....If they are allergic to playtex gloves, they should have other type gloves for them to use....Employees don't wash their hands everytime they step away from preparing food...What has this world come to??????

Tom Sietsema: I'm not sure about the world, but this discussion is about to end.

Thanks for a lively 60 minutes, everyone. See you outside for lunch today. Maybe.

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