"I was a witch with my children!" Teresa Heinz Kerry has been saying for a week, over and over, in promos for yesterday's highly anticipated Dr. Phil interview with Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry and his wife.
Dr. Phil took time out from his busy schedule hawking his book "Family First" and identifying future serial killers to ask the Kerrys -- somewhat pointedly, we think -- whether they spanked their children and how they handled living in a "blended" family. That interview, conducted last month, aired yesterday.
John and Teresa Heinz Kerry, left, with Phil McGraw and his wife, Robin, after last month's taping of the "Dr. Phil" show that ran yesterday.
(Sharon Farmer -- AP)
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As he had when he dropped by the president's Texas ranch for a chat, Dr. Phil took along his wife to make it seem so much more like a social call with longtime friends.
"I really feel like we're going to have a lot in common," Mrs. Dr. Phil confided excitedly to Dr. Phil and the camera before the interview. Which was surprising, given that a week earlier she had pronounced her husband to be exactly like President Bush.
"I think I'm just going to fall instantly in love with them," Mrs. Dr. Phil enthused.
That's because Dr. Phil and his wife have two "boys" while Heinz Kerry has three sons from her first marriage.
"Because we both raised boys, I feel a certain kinship with you," Mrs. Dr. Phil told Teresa once they were all seated cozily around a coffee table in a Boston hotel room.
"Because I have two. You have three," she added, just to make sure Teresa had gotten it straight.
"Do you agree that it doesn't matter how old they get, they're still just little boys all their lives?"
Surprisingly, even when confronted with such questions as these, the top of Teresa the Outspoken's head did not come off. In fact, she let her husband answer far more questions during the one-hour interview than had first lady Laura Bush, who jumped in like a lioness protecting her cub when questions were put to the president of the United States by the Dr. Phils.
And, it turns out, when Heinz Kerry said, "I was a witch with my children," what she was really saying, Dr. Phil finally let viewers see about three-quarters of the way through the program, was, "I was a witch with my children, truly, about television."
When her kids were growing up, she let them watch only 30 minutes of TV a day -- "Wild Kingdom" or "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." Once a week they were allowed to watch one hour more, but they had to write a one-paragraph report on why they liked that program. As a matter of policy, The TV Column has to disapprove of this behavior. But privately, we concede that even Brent Bozell would have to agree this means Teresa Heinz Kerry is the Practically Perfect American Mom.
In fact, the Kerrys seemed far more relaxed and open about their family life than had the Bushes on Dr. Phil's show. And, mercifully, it appeared that neither of the Kerrys ever gave any of their children a sewing machine.
To the degree that, God help us, undecided voters are swayed by information about the presidential candidates they glean from interviews by a daytime talk show self-promoter like Dr. Phil and his wife, Ima Tagalong, there's little doubt Kerry comes out the winner.
