Career Track Live

The Washington area is a magnet for smart, ambitious young workers. Post columnist Mary Ellen Slayter writes a regular column for these professionals who are establishing their careers locally, and offers advice online as well.

The transcript follows below.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Mary Ellen Slayter: Good afternoon, everyone! I hope you're all doing well. Lots of questions, so let's get started.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Mary Ellen,
I am curious what you think about an unconventional cover letter. Is it better to "follow the rules" or try to spice it up? Specifically, I am applying for a communications job, would it be too cutesy to create a press release of some kind instead of doing the traditional few paragraphs?
Thanks!

Mary Ellen Slayter: Write the traditional cover letter, and write it well. Framing it as a mock press release isn't spicing it up. It's a tired gimmick. Sorry.

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Guymon, Oklahoma: That's where I'm from, but I'm now in D.C. and in desperate need of the book about how people from blue collar or rural backgrounds can acquire the smarts and sophistication to succeed in the big city without coming across as a hick. My roomie, from rural Arkansas, read it and passed it on some time before I arrived, and she can't remember the name or author! Thanks much.

Mary Ellen Slayter: It's Limbo by Alfred Lubrano. Wonderful, wonderful book.

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Washington, D.C.: Any tips on self-assessment without comparing yourself to co-workers? A friend recently joined my company and was promoted after her first review. She totally deserves it, but I can't help being green with envy. You see, at our last firm, I was more senior, now she is. I know envy is an ugly thing, but I can't get past it -- we both work hard, we both get rave reviews from clients and colleagues, but I was passed over for promotion at my last review (got rave marks, a salary increase, but not promoted). My review is coming up next quarter, and I'm trying to frame my case for promotion. I've tweaked my resume to reflect my accomplishments, and taken job-related courses over the past year. But, I haven't been given the chance for much "management" experience here and am worried my skill building may not be enough. I know that "at my last firm I was a manager and so-and-so wasn't but you promoted her above me" is NOT the right answer, but I can't seem to get past it. Help!

Mary Ellen Slayter: It's only human to think like that. However, you are also absolutely right that you can't frame your case for your own promotion based on what this other woman is doing. Keep the focus on what you bring to the company, on the work you've done. Make it clear in your next review that you're ready to take on more responsibility. It sounds like you are taking all the right steps. Good luck!

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Washington, D.C.: Mary Ellen -- Please help!

I started by job about a month ago -- and the job I was offered and the job I have are two totally different things.

The projects they lured me in to work on are now gone. I would have NEVER left my other job without the projects they dangled before me.

Also, I am working 12 hours days, six days a week. When they gave me an offer, I said that my hours are 9 to 6. Their response? "Oh, that's what it is like for the firm." ummmmm ... not! I left at 7:00 p.m. last night for the first time, and you would have thought I was leaving at 3 p.m. from the way people reacted. I'm a director level, and senior management is LOADING me up with work. When I said that this is quite the burden I was told, "If you don't like it, there's the door."

I'm miserable. I hate it here. How can I look for a new job and not look crazy? It's been a month and my family life is suffering, as we haven't had dinner before 8:30 p.m. since I started. HELP!

Mary Ellen Slayter: Quit. And make sure they know why.

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Silver Spring, Maryland: Please help!!! I'm slowly deteriorating in a dead-end position, with absolutely no idea what type of career path I should take. How did you eventually find your calling? And how do I find mine?
Respectfully,
Dying behind the desk.

Mary Ellen Slayter: I realize this runs counter to 90 percent of the feel good career advice out there, but I don't actually consider my job a "calling." And I'm not sure that you should either. It's a loaded word, one that puts an enormous amount of pressure on people. Is it really not enough that we be good at what we do and make enough to support ourselves and our families? Must we also feel a state of rapture for 8 hours a day, lest we be failures?

Don't get me wrong, I love you guys, and I can't think of anything I'd rather do for a living. However, "calling" has religious connotations for me, and God does not wake me up in the middle of the night compelling me to answer your e-mails. That's my own neuroses.

Being satisfied at work isn't about a "calling" for most of us. It's feeling appreciated for doing something at which we feel competent. How well you get along with your co-workers matters, your physical surroundings matter. If anything of those things are out of whack, it's going to make you unhappy to various degrees. Start looking at the little things. Beyond that, it's all trial and error.

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D.C.: When should one go back to school? I'm 35 and have worked in communications, writing and editing since I earned my B.A. I am itchy for something new and don't feel challenged. Am I too late for fall programs? How do adults go back to school?

Mary Ellen Slayter: The people I know who have been happiest with their graduate school experiences went in with a very specific purpose in mind. They had a goal, and graduate or professional school was the best tool available to move them closer to it. An obvious example would be a software engineer who wanted to be a lawyer. Law school's the only way to get there. Or if you wanted to switch to nursing ... again school would be necessary. Not every career change requires more education, though. It could be a matter of finding a place willing to work with the skills you have and giving you on-the-job training, i.e. if you wanted to switch to marketing.

If I were just feeling bored and unchallenged, but didn't have any sort of focus, I would hesitate to commit to a full-fledged program. Perhaps take a single class in something that interests you. That could be basic accounting, a language, an arts class, etc.

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Northern California: I'm in my 40s and am an assistant. I made a conscious career move downward for work life balance. Overall, it's worked for me; however, it's been eye-opening to see how I'm treated now by the world vs. when I was in a much more important and visible job. Currently, we are hiring for a position with good pay and good resume value. I'm shocked by the way in which many of the younger applicants address me in our dealings. E-mails that begin, "hey," rudeness over the phone when they find out I'm "just the assistant," e-mails with no salutation or attempt at professionalism -- "when does the job close, I want to apply." Please remind job hunters that EVERY impression counts. All those poor abrupt and ill-mannered people, I'm the one they have to get past to get to my boss because I do the preliminary resume screening and they blow it right out of the gate. If you manage to irritate the assistant in a single encounter, the natural question is then how will you present yourself in a broader setting with more at stake? The assumption is usually, "Not well at all."

Mary Ellen Slayter: This is soooo true. And I am happy to pass your wise words along.

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Maryland: I just got a new job! In my dream profession. They so obviously wanted me, too. oh yeah, oh yeah. I'm spreading the joy, uh huh uh huh uh huh!;

Mary Ellen Slayter: And it's getting warmer. See, some things are right in the world. Congrats!

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Beautiful Silver Spring, Md.: If you (and by "you," I mean "me") lack a specific career goal, is it OK to keep spending two or three years at jobs until they become tiresome somehow, just going to things that you find interesting? I can't think of anything I could actually make myself want to do for the next 30 years, 40 hours a week -- that's why they call it "work," IMO. But there's generally a healthy lag time between the time I start a job and the time I get bored of a job.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Sure, I can't see why not. You're talking to a woman who's had like 20 different jobs in her not-very-long life. And honestly, at some point in those 2-3 year cycles, you will probably find something you like well enough to stay for ... I dunno, 5 years!

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Washington, D.C.: Is there anything wrong with pursuing a job and then when you get an offer you discover it's not really what you wanted - mainly in terms of lifestyle and pay? How much thought should you really give to the job before you get an offer -- if you give it too much thought are you getting your hopes up? When I recently rejected a job I got a nasty reaction from the hiring manager who I now fear may badmouth me around town (I work in a small industry). I always thought you could reject an employer just like they can reject you. Has something changed?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Not that I know of. You can't expect them to be delighted that you turned down the offer, but you didn't do anything wrong.

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Arlington, Va.: I'm 27 and am having a hard time sorting through my career goals. I have so many interests and on any given day one seems more important than the other -- from fashion to sports to politics to health care and the list goes on. I can't afford to shell out a lot of money for a career counselor. Any advice?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Then ask your friends what they think you'd be best at. To increase the likelihood of an honest answer, buy them beer first. It's still cheaper than a career counselor.

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Rockville, Md.: Hi. My boss has assured me that I am getting a long-deserved promotion and a raise when review time comes in June. However, I am unhappy in the job (with no potential for making it better, even with the promotion), and am looking for a new job.

I have two questions ... first, is it shady to accept a promotion and a raise when one is hoping to leave the company? It will most likely be a long time before I find a new job, so I probably won't be leaving two weeks after the promotion kicks in.

Second ... my new, improved salary won't kick in until June. What should I tell companies that ask for my current salary? It could be at least $5K or $10K higher after the raise, so I'd surely rather put the post-raise salary.

Mary Ellen Slayter: You have no idea how long it is going to take before you get a new job. However ... why not give the promotion there a chance, maybe 6 months or so before you start looking in earnest? It will give you a bit more leverage in the search, and you won't have to feel a bit guilty about jumping ship.

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Downtown D.C.: Hi Mary Ellen,

I've been a temp off and on for almost four years (mainly because I move a lot because of my husband's job, and partially because I like moving around). I've been in at least 40 offices, and here's some advice for the next office that hires me:

1. I love it when people introduce themselves, because it's really hard to always be a professional new kid. Plus, the friendlier people are, the faster I can figure out who is who and get settled.

2. I appreciate offices that give me a list of everyone's name and job function -- just a list of names and extensions is worthless. How am I supposed to memorize that Suzy is in charge of accounts receivable, Erin is the senior manager, and Bob is Erin's assistant? Suzy at extension 301 isn't helpful.

3. I don't appreciate negativity. Just yesterday, my supervisor at my current posting explained my tasks for the day in terms of how another employee had screwed them up (down to naming names!) Leave me out of office politics. Truly and honestly, I don't care. I'm here to work.

4. Have pre-written instructions -- if I'm answering phones for the day, please leave me a list of who gets their calls screened, what the voice mail codes are, etc. It's so much easier than having a harried office manager rattle off some instructions at 9 am and disappear for the rest of the day.

5. Have some consideration when you assign me tasks. I don't mind tedious work, like filing or stuffing envelopes, but don't make me stay by myself in a silent room and do it. At least give me a radio to listen to or let me wear headphones. Temps aren't robots.

Mary Ellen Slayter: As a former temp myself, I am happy to post this as well.

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Washington, D.C.: What do you do when your organization's finances turn around, but they stay in contingency mode in terms of staffing? My health is suffering because of my very stressful job situation due to terrible understaffing, but attempts to stimulate change stall when they reach higher-ups.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Unless you are emotionally invested in this job for reasons you didn't mention, leave. Seriously, your health is precious. No job is.

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D.C.: I was just promoted to office manager and I'm good at getting things done and have good initiative. I lack sorely in being able to confront someone and asserting my authority. I always had that problem in every aspect of my life due to a childhood with an overbearing parent. I'm very ill at ease and it shows when I confront an employee. I'd like to change that. Are those seminars for managers good or do you have any suggestion?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Since it's something that affects all aspects of your life, not just your job, I'd make an appointment with a therapist. Working through these issues will have far-reaching benefits beyond your job. I've seen it work, and I wish you luck.

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Washington, D.C.: Any suggestions of the best places to look for part-time work as a writer, editor or copyeditor? The usual places are yielding primarily full-time opportunities.

Mary Ellen Slayter: These sorts of arrangements tend not to be advertised. Your best bet is to identify the organization for which you want to work and apply to them directly. Specify in your cover letter that you're looking for a part-time gig.

Also, try a temp agency. They don't just hire for short-term jobs.

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Washington, D.C.: Like a lot of other agencies after an election, we're facing transitions in leadership, along with retirements, etc. My question is ... if you've worked on successful projects that cross organizational boundaries, and those with whom you've worked are moving on but you're staying, is it ever appropriate to request some sort of recognition for your work from those organizations, e.g., a plaque, in order to memorialize those successes before you're left to establish new relationships with their replacements? I know that sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I thought it was worth asking. Thanks.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Those plaques are gifts, and you can't ask for gifts.

However, you do get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you get to put it on your resume. That should suffice.

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Mary Ellen Slayter: Thanks for all your great questions and comments today. Enjoy your weekend!

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