Historically, subjects want their king to marry a virgin princess, says Herman, which makes for pure bloodlines and unfortunate inbreeding. If a king has done his duty -- married a royal bride and produced heirs -- mistresses are expected, often exalted, but rarely married. If the queen happened to die before the king, some monarchs could finally marry for love.
Louis XIV of France secretly married his alleged mistress, Madame de Maintenon, but never publicly acknowledged the union. Czar Alexander II of Russia married his mistress, Katia Dolguruky, a month after his wife died but was assassinated before he could make his new bride empress -- much to the relief of the court. Then there's the infamous case of England's Henry VIII, who divorced his first wife and the Catholic Church to marry Anne Boleyn and make her queen. When he had her beheaded three years later, the English cheered.
Camilla Parker Bowles and Lady Diana, later the Princess of Wales, at Ludlow racecourse in 1980.
(AP)
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The British royals have had more of their fair share of scandal in modern history, but nothing quite topped the Duke of Windsor and his marriage to mistress Wallis Warfield Simpson. That love affair cost England a king, and made royal mistresses poison at the very proper court. The Queen Mother, who died in 2002, never forgave the duke for bringing so much turmoil to the family. Charles, fully aware of his grandmother's opposition to a formal marriage with Camilla, slowly and patiently began building public acceptance of the relationship after he was divorced from Diana in 1996.
"Charles and Camilla are aware how disastrously the Duke of Windsor handled his marriage to his mistress, and so planned a very clever strategy to get themselves to the altar," says Herman.
In July 1997, Charles hosted a 50th birthday party for Camilla which was widely regarded as a public acknowledgment of their relationship. The following month, Diana was killed in a car accident in Paris. The death was stunning, and the British public responded with an unprecedented outpouring of grief for the "People's Princess." Charles had to pretend to give Camilla up for a while, although she had nothing tangible to do with the tragedy. "There was a lot of anger toward Camilla as the 'other woman,' " says Herman.
The couple resurfaced in early 1999, and gradually began appearing together at unofficial events in London. Shortly after the Queen Mother died, the Church of England officially decreed that people with living ex-spouses could remarry in the church. That cleared the way for Charles and Camilla, although they announced they will wed in a civil ceremony.
Princes William and Harry are reportedly very comfortable with Camilla, and the queen has accepted the relationship. Charles quietly moved her into Clarence House in the fall of 2003, and the stage for a wedding was set.
"What is going on now is the loosening of all those old strictures," says Mehle.
Marriage will make life easier on a number of fronts. Camilla will be a duchess until Charles becomes king, when she will become Princess Consort (and no, that's not a piece of furniture). The couple has carefully navigated the social protocol of their position, and reportedly pulled out of an event last year when the couple was not seated together because they were not married. Tricky social questions will become simpler. "When they're legally bound, it's not, 'How do we approach this one?' " says Higdon.
And so, a happy ending for two crazy fifty-somethings -- with castles, servants and a mother-in-law who really does have the last word. No fairy tale, but a messy, real-life love story.
"People know that they're an item for life," says Herman. "The marriage is not a big deal anymore."
