In this era of the suicide bomber, would you ride a bus in Jerusalem? Gene Weingarten did -- to better understand the psychology of terror. Not the psychology of the terrorist -- the psychology of the terrorized.
Weingarten, whose article "We're All Going to Die (Eventually)" appeared in Sunday's Washington Post Magazine, was online Monday, Aug. 23, at 1 p.m. ET to field questions and comments about the article.
Weingarten is a Magazine staff writer and columnist. He hosts a regular discussion each Tuesdays at Noon ET.
Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
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Gene Weingarten: Good afternoon. I was going to begin with a preamble, but your questions so far comprehensively cover every area I was planning to preemptively strike. In short, you won't let me get away with it. So let's just go.
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Washington, D.C.:
interesting article -- the psychology of the terrorized...
One question: why did you limit yourself to the Israeli and American "experiences?" Maybe you should have gone to Jenin or Rafah or Fallujah or Najaf and talked to folks there about what it is to wake up every day wondering if your children will be shot, or your home bombed or demolished? And being told that not only is that your lot in life, but that the fact that you're even allowed it that good is a favor from those doing the shooting and bombing that you should be grateful for if you weren't so stupid.
But I guess those Arabs aren't really people -- not like Americans and Israelis, huh?
Gene Weingarten: Several people submitted similar questions. I've chosen this one because it was the most hostile and insulting.
The point of this story was not to randomly court danger to see what it felt like -- yes, in that case, Iraq would have been the most appropriate venue. The Washington Post already has writers -- Dan Williams, Rajiv Chandrasekaran, Pamela Constable and others, all of whom are a lot braver than I am -- who have explored this subject. The point of this story was to try to gauge what life in the United States might be like at some point in the future, when terrorism might become an everyday threat. That meant finding a modern, secular, prosperous democracy suffering under the daily threat of terrorism, and Jerusalem fit the bill.
I am certain that had I gone to the occupied territories, I would have seen people equally (or more) fearful for their lives, and more defenseless than the Israelis. A powerful story, but not the story I was writing.
More to the point, I think this story bent over backwards to make no moral judgments about who is right and who is wrong in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I acknowledged, in the story, that the Palestinians likewise accuse the Israelis of terrorism, and likewise, the Israelis define their aggressions as self-defense.
Personally, I think both sides are right, and both sides are wrong. I am immensely saddened by the whole thing.
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Boston, Mass.:
Brilliant article, but I don't understand the conclusion you came to, and the last three paragraphs completely threw me off. The rest of the article seems to be in ardent support of Becker's theory, if anything:
"Bergman, 48, said that if a Jew dies in a terrorist attack, he is in a state of martyrdom and is guaranteed the highest reaches of Heaven."
How is this not denial? "They got what they wanted", the banishment of the candles from Atocha, the blind trust in the bus driver and the men with tan vests, the renaming of Flight 223, God's plan for utopia, "We won't stop dancing", and at the end of it all, the exact opposite of the culmination I had logically expected. Perhaps you'll think me an idiot, but: huh?
Gene Weingarten: Good question. Fortunately, you asked it a day early, because the explanation is not simple and this gave me time to address it. (Here, then, is the dirty secret of chats. A question asked well in advance can get an elaborate, thoughtful answer. Questions asked in real time tend to get responses like "Right you are!" or, "Noted.")
Last week, I was discussing Ernest Becker with two of the best writers, and smartest people, at The Post. One thought Becker a sage who had more or less solved the existential mystery of life. The other considered him a total quack. I am somewhere in between -- but, mostly, an admirer.
I found the book fascinating -- unsettling in two distinct ways. First, it was unsettling because it's a pretty grim little tale he weaves about who we are and why we act the way we do. But it is also unsettling because Becker is a lockstep Freudian, and much of the book reads like a sullen defense of his hero, whose theories (in 1975) were just beginning to come under question. In this sense, Becker's arguments sometimes seem to be stretched so thin they break, such as where he spends half a chapter justifying "penis envy." It makes you wonder whether he is conning you about the other stuff, too.
However, I mostly buy it. As you point out, virtually everything that I described in the United States, and on the erstwhile Flight 223, and in Madrid, fits perfectly into Becker's thesis. It was when I got to Jerusalem that things seemed subtly different. It took me a while to figure out what that was.
Israelis live with denial, but it is a far thinner layer than the rest of us. I think Becker would have expected, that as this pulsing nugget of fear came closer to the surface, the human animal would essentially come mentally undone -- in fact, Becker literally believed that paranoics and depressives were in some ways "saner" than the rest of us, because they were essentially seeing the truth, and were terrified by it.
But there's nothing crazy or imbalanced about the Israeli reaction to the threat of terror. Much of the denial is replaced by a sort of pugnacious fatalism (Ozer Bergman's "when your number's up...") and by and large, as I saw it, Israelis simply confront this situation by living large. One thing that Ricki Bernstein said to me, that didn't make it into the story, is that "We are all intensity junkies." I understood, exactly.
That's what I was referring to, at the end. I think that in a situation like Israel's, Becker might have expected a sort of raging national insanity. It was quite the opposite. I think Becker might have been underestimating the human capacity to adapt, and to mine beauty from pain and grief.
Interestingly, at the dinner table last night, I was discussing Becker's ideas with my son, Dan, who is 20. He said that he didn't see why knowledge of our mortality should be such a frightening, personality-molding fact. Knowledge that we are born alone, and will die alone, trapped forever in our own brains -- now THAT's scary, Dan said.
Hm. Happy dreams.
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Reston, Va.:
Hiya Gene,
I suffered a shiver of recognition when I read about Becker's book on how our lives are basically an exercise in denial where we pretend to be unaware of our mortality so we can go about our daily lives.
I recently had the thought that life is all about finding things to distract us until we die. In the long view, none of what we do really matters, because it will be erased after a generation or two (with a few extreme exceptions). We find things to focus on to keep ourselves distracted, and whatever is best at distracting us -- family, career, volunteer work -- becomes our priority. But in the end, it doesn't really matter to anyone else. And, eventually, we kick off.
This thought has depressed me no end. I've always been a bit of a cynic, but this revelation scares me and makes me wonder what the point of it all is.
You hint at hope in your article, near the end, talking about limitless possibilities within our limited lives. Can you expand on that? And should I read Becker's book?
Gene Weingarten: Yikes. Relax. What I meant is that the purpose of life is not death, it is life. But, um, don't read Becker.
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Imabelie, Va.:
Gene,
Thank you for your excellent article, expressing what I have been too tongue-tied to explain. I went to Israel after the Natanya massacre in April 2001. My friends couldn't understand why I went and my family was apalled. I said, "People live there." They said, "But you don't." I told them, "When there's trouble at home, sometimes you have to be there," (Black people understood). In Israel I saw people being brave just by showing up for work in the morning. We toured in a bubble -- private bus and armed security guards -- it made me ashamed to be so coddled. On the last night in Jerusalem I broke out of the buble, took a taxi to visit a friend. We hugged, exchanged news of family and friends, spoke of our plans for the coming year. People live there.
Gene Weingarten: I know what you mean. People live in Gaza, too. It's overwhelming, really.
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Greensburg, Pa.:
Gene, your article was breathtaking, startling and brilliant. It has also convinced me, prior to your article a Kerry supporter by default, to vote for Bush in November. Two points stood out: Pointing out the locations of countless incidences of slaughter, yet not moving from where one stood; and the fact that everyone... EVERYONE... has had a brush with terrorism. Including the 13-year-old child. Dubya's complete and unabashed support for Israel trumps all, and while I deplore the way we were brought to war, it isn't lost on me that the man we removed from power in Iraq wrote $25K checks for the perpetrator of each and every one of those acts of terror.
Dubya has declared war on "Terrorists and the states that support them." It matters not whether those terrorists target U.S. citizens or the citizens of our allies if innocents are the ultimate targets. This is the mantle that comes with being a Superpower.
Four more years.
Gene Weingarten: Not a reaction I anticipated, but okay....
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Lotsafe, AR:
So, now that we've read Ernest Becker and understand our great lie (that friends, family and football are just passtimes to distract us from the full knowledge of our inevitable demise), hasn't the lie disappeared? Isn't it now more like a rational choice to not obsess with death?
Gene Weingarten: No. Becker is not saying that we intellectually fool ourselves into believing we are immortal. Of course, if asked, we would all acknowledge that we will die, and that death could come at any moment, and many of us believe in no afterlife. Becker was saying that we fool ourselves emotionally -- deep down, where subjective truths hold sway -- so that we operate always as though death were not a constant companion.
Gene Weingarten: (Becker is not saying this is a BAD thing -- but he is saying it is a self-deception, and one so strong that it colors everything we are and do. That we will do those things that keep the anxiety most at bay.)
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Washington, D.C.:
Gene, fine article. It's probably the second best feature article I've read in The Post, behind a story about Elian Gonzalez that a certain former Miami Herald editor wrote a few years back.
I plan on keeping it on my desk for a while, except that the phrase "We're All Going to Die" in large letters on the cover unnerved me. So, I keep it on my desk facedown. Irony much?
Also, did you get any hate mail because you cite a psychologist who denies the existence of the Almighty?
Gene Weingarten: Here's an interesting and homely fact about the nature of journalism:
This story was not my idea. It was the idea of Tom Shroder, the editor of the magazine. From the beginning, Tom had fairly strong notions about what he wanted the story to say and how he wanted the story to say it. As it happens, the final product bore little resemblance to his plans. However, one thing remained intact, from beginning to end. Before I had left on the trip, before the first word of the story was written, before the first phone call was made and before the first note was taken, Tom knew what the cover was going to say, because he had written it. I think so long as I delivered a story that justified that headline, he was happy. So you can thank Tom for your dilemma.
I'm not entirely sure that Ernest Becker did not believe in God, though that can certainly be inferred. He clearly did not believe in an afterlife. The introduction to "The Denial of Death" is written by someone who interviewed Becker on his deathbed, and as I recall, significantly, the subject of God did not come up.
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Silver Spring, Md.:
Gene,
Thanks for your excellent article. It was particularly gripping for me, because I felt that I lived what you described. I was in Jerusalem on Aug. 9, 2001, and was just two blocks from the Sbarro restaurant when I heard the loud explosion. In fact, had my wife not changed her mind so that we stopped at another pizza store to grab a bite instead of continuing on our original plan to eat at Sbarro, we might have been among the victims of that attack. We were also on British Air flight 223 on the second day it flew after the hiatus in response to the terrorist warnings. We have taken Bus 2 from the Western Wall, and have since eaten at Sbarro and the cafe where Dr. Applebaum and his daughter were killed the night before her wedding. I might add that on Oct. 24, 2001, I was on a flight from Chicago during which the pilot announced (unknowingly) to the passengers that the flight was "going down," when he meant it only as a message to the air flight controllers that he was reducing altitude. There was some panic on the airplane; I was quite upset for months afterwards.
Why do I, a long-time government bureaucrat who almost compulsively avoids risks or dangerous situations, continue visiting Israel -- at least once a year -- despite all these close calls? To visit my daughter and her family. We are generally very careful about where we go and how we travel, but there is a certain sense of fatalism. We generally avoid buses within cities, but only two days after the Sbarro bombing, my wife and I were, perversely, sitting on Saturday night with other American tourist friends at a café near Sbarro.
I think the most easily understandable analogy is the behavior of people in the Washington area during the period of the sniper attacks. People continued their necessary activities, but thought carefully about any public exposure and rethought attending unnecessary events. This lasted only a few harrowing weeks. For Israelis, it has lasted, with different degrees of severity, for decades. Life must go on, and when you are in Israel, somehow it doesn't seem as frightening.
Thanks again for opening this window on a part of my life.
Gene Weingarten: Thank you. It is kind of an amazing way to live. After a while, you remain completely aware of the overall risk, but almost inured to the specifics. It happened to me, on the bus.
The first night I was in Jerusalem, Ilan the photographer and I had dinner with Glenn and Betsyellen Frankel (Glenn won a Pulitzer in Israel for his coverage of the first intifada) at a beautiful outdoor restaurant (Olives) in downtown. There was a security guard at the door, as with most restaurants, of course, checking everyone as they came in. But we were sitting outside, next to a large hedge, and all I could think of was how easy it would be for anyone to lob a grenade right over the hedge from the street -- security guard be damned. All the other people at my table -- all of them familiar with Jerusalem -- were just sitting there enjoying their meals.
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Allexandria, Va.:
I lived in Guatemala for 10 years in the 1970's and 1980's. There were "terror" activities with great frequency. The morning news would report "10 bodies found on the side of the road with signs of torture" almost daily. As I read your excellent article, I thought back on my experience. Even in a case where much of the terror is state sponsored, the way to survive is to keep working and keep living your normal life. The terrorsts win if they know they can dominate.
The U.S. reacts to possible, undefined terror threats to an extent that would seem way overboard in any other part of the world. We will not accept any level of danger in this country. We are building a level of fear that I feel is unwarranted.
Gene Weingarten: I would say we are possibly building an expectation of safety that is unwarranted.
I agree with your basic thesis. John Locke said, "What worries you masters you."
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Fallls Church, Va.:
Wow, what a great piece. The word hamatzav... so accurate for what I feel. I'm not scared about something specific, I'm just kinda globally anxious. I do not change my habits, I do not hide under the covers -- but it's there, just under the surface of my feelings like a current in water. Hubby and I drove to Maryland yesterday and saw that overhead sign advising us to "report suspicious activity," we looked at each other and thought a sign about aggressive driving would be more useful. We know how to recognize that.
Gene Weingarten: That "suspicious activity" sign is one of Washington's strangest sites. It's probably better than "Surrender Dorothy." Well, no. But close.
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Herndon, Va.:
Mr. W: A great article. We sometimes forget that you're not "only" a writer of humor, and this is an excellent reminder. Since you did this, have there been any after effects -- trouble sleeping, flashbacks, etc.?
Gene Weingarten: Nah. That's a better question for someone who really took risks. But it does remind me of an interesting fact, in the reporting of this story.
As I said, the story was not my idea, and to be honest I was not entirely relishing that bus ride. And then I noticed something extremely unusual. I found myself discussing this story with all sorts of people: Where I was going to go, what I was going to do, when I was going to do it. I even mentioned it when I was lecturing to Marc Fisher's journalism class, at Princeton.
This was essentially unprecedented: Most writers -- me, certainly -- are usually very reticent to discuss what they are working on, for reasons both superstitious and practical. We don't want anyone else getting similar ideas, and doing it first.
I had no idea why I was being so voluble about this story. And then, in my preparatory reading about the nature of terrorism, I learned about the process of preparing a suicide bomber for his task. The bomber makes a martyrdom video, his handlers prepare celebratory pamphlets about him, for distribution later, and show the bomber the pamphlets, he is paraded before important people, etc. It is all part of a very deliberate and arguably cynical process to make it impossible for him to change his mind -- the humiliation would be too great.
I think, in small measure, unconsciously, that is what I was doing. Making it impossible for me to change my mind.
Spooky, no?
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Washington, D.C.:
Can we ever go back?
I had a bad feeling when the Clinton administration closed
Pennsylvania Avenue. It got even worse when Clinton's
Justice Department passed the precursor to the Patriot
Act. Then Bush, then 9/11, shoes off at the airport,
missiles on the parking garage at the Navy Yard, Patriot
Acts, checkpoints on the roads. I moved to DC 15 years
ago when the Capitol Hill police had only six patrol cars
(they're probably over 60 now).
Even if Bin Laden is killed and the Arabs took over Israel,
there seem to be some people who hate us for the fact we
like freedom of religion or give women the right to vote
that they will never stop trying to kill Americans.
Is there anyway to just say "what the heck" and live with
the risk? Go back to a more free country without fear?
Gene Weingarten: First, we are still in kindergarten, in terms of responding to terror threats.
But no, I don't think we can lead with our chins. I think too many people would be delighted to take a swing.
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McLean, Va.:
Read the article. It wasn't funny. You're getting serious, Achenbach is writing for National Geographic, what's next, Dave Barry writing op-eds?
Gene Weingarten: Calm down. I only do this once a year, max.
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Tel Aviv, Israel:
Hi, Gene,
Thanks for your highly-intuitive article in today's Post. Since you were not aware, the Cafe Moment closed its doors a few weeks ago more for the economic situation than its dark past.
Also, "bashert" generally means "soulmate." I left the comfort and lifestyle of the U.S. a year and a half ago, (always careful now to say I am from Alexandria, VIRGINIA, not Egypt) and have already lost friends and seen what the horrors of politics and religions can do to a people.
Yes we do keep dancing, that is our right.
Rachel Grenadier
Tel Aviv, Israel
Gene Weingarten: Thanks for writing. I am sorry to hear that about Moment. It seemed indomitable, like it would survive forever. It also made excellent salads.
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Fairfax, Va.:
Thank you for your excellent article and especially for including Becker's "Denial of Death," a book that was transformative for me since I read it four times during my 40s. If you are willing, would you talk about the "illusion" you use to repress the reality of pending death.
Gene Weingarten: I use humor. I have quoted this before, but I love this. It's by Dave Barry: "A sense of humor is a measurement of the degree to which you realize you are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how you express your anxiety at this knowledge."
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Columbia, Md.:
Why did you raise the issue on page 35, when quoting Mizrahi -- but then not explore it -- that Palestinians are in a life without hope; is that not a topic worth exploring?
Gene Weingarten: Absolutely. This is something my newspaper has explored, and will continue to explore. It was not, however, the point of this story.
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Wheaton, Md.:
Why is it that Israelis seem content to accept the risk rather than eliminate the threat? No one doubts that the Israelis have the ability end the arab terrorist threat. How many more Jewish children have to be buried before Israel gets serious and defends the population?
Gene Weingarten: And how would you have them do this? Genocide?
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Lisbon, Portugal:
If groups of Jews were attacking Arab-occupied areas, blowing up buses and shooting children, do you believe the international community would show the same sympathy as they do for Arab terrorists? The most tragic aspect of this issue is how the entire world continues to accept, even support, the killing of Jews.
Gene Weingarten: Sorry, but there is ample mistreatment of Palestinians by Israelis. There are two sides to this question. I don't think they are necessarily morally equivalent, but there are two sides.
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Familiar Territory:
I lived in Tel Aviv while interning for the U.S. government in summer 2001. I left for Israel the morning after the Dolphinarium bombing, and was there for the Sbarro bombing. We used to get drinks after work at a bar right next to the Embassy. A suicide bomber wandered into that bar after I left to come home. When the planes hit the Twin Towers and the Pentagon I was living in D.C., having returned from Israel a mere three weeks prior. I had spent those calm three weeks deprogramming my new fear instinct. I had unlearned the reaction of eyeing all bags suspiciously and I finally stopped making a beeline for the corner table in the back with a clear view of the door in every restaurant. Even though I was distraught when our world came tumbling down, the fear never approached the daily nervousness of Israel. I have never felt unsafe in a restaurant, bar, or market here. It's a different type of fear in Israel. Here we know to steer clear of certain landmarks or financial institutions when we get our warnings -- overhyped though they may be. In Israel, you could never know if it would be your neighborhood market or coffee shop -- it was the uncertainty that got you.
I'm not sure I have a point to this, other than I really understood what you were writing, and you're a braver person than I for riding Israeli buses -- the one thing I never did.
Gene Weingarten: Very well put. (Not the part about my being brave; Israelis ride those buses ALL THE TIME. Ultimately, I felt rather silly for my fear.)
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Oslo, Norway:
Doesn't the use of suicide bombers by the terrorists prove that the terrorists would rather die than live in peace with Israel? The so called "peace process" seems to be an unrealistic delusion among westerners and liberal Israelis.
Gene Weingarten: You're not really from Oslo, right?
Many years ago, in a chat, I was asked (for some reason) what I thought of the Arab-Israeli conflict. I gave an elaborate answer that came down to this: The only solution that I see is for a total capitulation by Israel: A massive, humiliating ceding of land and sovereignty, far beyond what is traditionally discussed. All in exchange for a guarantee of peace. It would have to be perceived by the world as an utter victory for the Palestinians. The current government of Israel would probably collapse, which would not be a bad thing.
Then, wait 25 years and see what happens, and what each society has made of itself. With great luck and good fortune, you will have two thriving, coexisting sovereign nations. If there is continued Palestinian aggression, whatever the pretext, then there will be evidence that this was, all along, a proxy war for the destruction of Israel. I hope that is not the case. I pray that is not the case. But if it is, then Israel, as a sovereign state warred upon by another sovereign state, can respond appropriately.
I guess I still stand by that.
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Gene Weingarten: To Jonathan Levy of Jerusalem:
I am not going to post your message because it would seem self-serving, but thank you. I know what you are talking about.
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Santa Barbara, Calif.:
Isn't it true that in very real terms, the public is in for more danger of being killed or injured from everyday activities (auto accidents, food poisoning, adverse medical reactions to medicine, etc) or even be effect of good things like winning the lottery, than dying or getting injured in a conventional "terrorist" attack regardless of how destructive (e.g even hundreds to thousands of people)?
Gene Weingarten: I'm not sure about the "hundreds of thousands" thing. But it is true that during the worst year of the intifadas (I forget which year that was, 1992?) the number of accidental deaths in Jerusalem still outnumbered the number of terrorism-related deaths. Though they were apparently close.
Somehow, however, this is not a hugely reassuring fact, is it?
Gene Weingarten: Actually, I think the worst year of the intifadas might have been 2002.
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Pittsburgh, Pa.:
Facinating article -- I have two questions:
Was your family concerned at all to have you travel to Israel? And, if I remember correctly, you are not a "practicing" Jew, but what impact did your visit to Israel have on you?
Gene Weingarten: 1) My family didn't like it.
2) You mean, religiously? None.
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Washington, D.C.:
Your mention of the increase in traffic deaths that followed the decision of many Americans to stop flying in the aftermath of 9/11 reminded me of the man who decided to move out of New York with his wife and young child after the attacks, and go someplace safer. They moved to Colorado -- where, this past May, a girder from a bridge construction site fell on their SUV, killing them.
As for the people who refuse to fly despite the greater likelihood that they'll die on the highway (and who continue to engage in all sorts of other risky behavior), I can't help but think that in some cases, their decision results not from a desire to escape the terrorist threat, but from some sort of need to feel more affected by that threat.
Gene Weingarten: Whoa. Very interesting.
As to the road deaths, an odd addendum: Though road deaths spiked in 2002, oddly enough, traffic on the highways did not. I went back and forth with the highway statistics people on this, and they're pretty sure that -- counterintuitively -- though people did stop flying, they did not take to the roads in significantly greater numbers. And yet -- also counterintuitively -- road deaths spiked. Roughly 500 more people died in 2002 on the roads than 2001 -- about the contents of two 747s.
What made me think of this was your first paragraph. It's a little surreal.
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Pittsburgh, Pa.:
With the violence in Israel and Gaza, it always surprises me when I hear about folks (like a previous chatter) who choose to move to Israel. Did you find a difference in those who were born and raised there vs. those who have moved there (from the U.S. and other places) in term of their personalities, politics, motivations, etc.?
Gene Weingarten: Honestly, I wasn't there long enough to see such a distinction. I would suspect that those who CHOOSE to go there would be more defiant -- like Ozer Bergman and my friends, the Bernsteins. But that is just a guess.
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Alexandria, Va.:
How did the Israelis feel about our color-based "terror risk warning system?"
Gene Weingarten: They find it most amusing.
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Silver Spring, Md.:
Great article, Gene. I agree with Dan -- why is mortality so scary? What scares me is the prospect of immortality -- that there really is an "undiscovered country," or worse yet, reincarnation.
Gene Weingarten: Agreed. I hope I am not offending those with different beliefs, but I think if I die at 90 I will be ready for a long, peaceful uninterrupted dirt nap.
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Reston, Va.:
Me again, the cynic who thinks life is all about keeping oneself distracted.
Just wanted to say your son is a wise man. The thought of being alone forever is terrifying. And yet, when it seems like you're the last person on earth who's still single, it's comforting (in a twisted way) to remember that being alone is the natural order of things. So once you can accept that, you can say "so what?" and go about distracting yourself from your mortaliy.
Gene Weingarten: Maybe we'll have a drink together some day, Chuckles.
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Kexington, Ky.:
As a parent, do you understand what could possess anyone who is able to get their children out of such a dangerous situation, but do not? Maybe my lack of affiliation with an organized religious group is showing, but I feel that one of my primary jobs as a parent is to protect my children from such dangers. I think it's more than luck that my children never had classmates who were murdered in a hate crime, unlike one of the families in your piece.
Gene Weingarten: Boy, this is a good question, and a tough question. I wish the Bernsteins were here to answer it, because I cannot. They are strong, loving parents, and they chose to live in Jerusalem. Their kids are fantastic. It's a decision I would not have made.
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University Park, Md.:
Moving to Israel vs. born there -- Granted that this is from a sample of exactly one, but my friend in Tel Aviv says she would not feel safe anywhere but Israel. She's convinced the world is out to eliminate the Jews (well, she has plenty of historical evidence to back her up) and feels safest in her own country where she can defend herself. I understand, but it makes me sad.
Gene Weingarten: It makes me sad, but I don't really understand. I have not walked through life feeling a sting of antisemitism.
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Lansing, Mich.:
It seems to me that the Israeli approach to terrorism -- it's a part of life, so get on with your life and don't change your plans on the basis of a potential terrorist attack -- is a healthy (albeit sad) one. I've been a little concerned by the constant "be prepared!" terror warnings in this country -- they're not helpful, and they dissuade people from living their lives. My parents canceled an eagerly anticipated, once-in-a-lifetime cruise from Hawaii to Tahiti in the wake of 9/11. Jef and I took advantage of the cheap airfares to visit New York, a city we love. Did you get the impression that the Israelis lived their lives with a sense of resignation?
Gene Weingarten: Resignation is not the right word, because it implies passivity or torpor. I think Israelis are fatalistic (a lot of Jews are) but wildly defiant at the same time. It is a pretty sane attitude.
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Chantilly VA:
Gene: thanks for a very interesting story.
Question: did you happen to see the story in Saturday's (I think) Post about high-priced real estate in Jerusalem? Now that was the really eye-opening story. People are sinking big bucks into condos etc, in Jerusalem.
washingtonpost.com: Lured to Jerusalem By Religion, Luxury, (Post, Aug. 21)
Gene Weingarten: It is. Worth reading.
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A Big O, Ne:
Just a note:
In your listing of "terror attacks by nation-states' you left out the most well known (though not the most destructive): Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
A fine article. Must pick up Becker.
Gene Weingarten: True, true. And they were very effective.
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Washington, D.C.:
Did you run into any Israelis or Palestinians who felt that what was happening was okay? That all of the slaughter and carnage would be worth it, and that their side would prevail in the end?
Gene Weingarten: I talked to no Palestinians. Here is an interesting fact: something like 75 percent of all Israelis, in national polls, favor surrendering lots and lots of land, if it will bring peace. It is their leaders who resist this. So then the leaders get voted out of office, new leaders come in, and resist it. That's why you only hear of, like, five names of Israeli leaders. They're on cycles.
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Tenleytown:
Gene: Thank you for the excellent article. Since you were so open about what you were planning, did anyone -- specifically your wife or your children -- try to dissuade you?
Gene Weingarten: They weren't happy but did not try to dissuade me. It wasn't that sort of risk -- we all understood that.
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Gene Weingarten: And how would you have them do this? Genocide? :
We don't call it genocide. We call it "Ensuring our childrens future. And our grandchildrens future".
When you line the schools and courtyards with altars to murders and the murderers who commit them... when you glorify the murder of innocents by calling them "martyrs," then you reap what you sow. Either eliminate them or remove them. It's the only way.
Gene Weingarten: I don't think this is a solution that any civilized nation would take. Israel is a besieged nation, and I do not approve of everything it has done, but it is a civilized nation.
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Salisbury, Md.:
I know it is beyond the scope of your article, but what was it like to be at the Western Wall? Even if your outlook is relatively secular (as are mine, and most American Jews'), it must have been overwhelming to be close to a structure with so much historical importance, and about as old (>2 millenia) as any building you can find above ground in the world. When I visited Florence, Italy in 1994, I nearly hypervintilated when I realized that the mosaic tiles I was walking on in the basement of the cathedral (Il Duomo) were about 700 years old -- and I'm not Catholic. I think you could write another article from that experience.
Gene Weingarten: True. Also, walking through the old city. You are enveloped by antiquity. It is ruined, somewhat, by the fact that everywhere people are selling Coke and Levi jeans.
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Washington, D.C.:
I've lived in exactly three cities my entire life. Washington, D.C., Madrid and Jerusalem. I was in Jerusalem during the first intifadah. I was in Madrid when ETA was blowing up cars on a weekly basis. I was in D.C. on Sept. 11. This country, and this city, do not yet understand a life under the veil of terror. On an individual level, over time you forget that you made (or keep making) the decision to go out and live a normal life. It hits you when you leave and go to a place that is "safer" and you realize that your sense of possible danger is far out of line with reality. We're not there, yet.
Gene Weingarten: Good. I hope we never get there. I fear we will.
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Washington, D.C.:
Gene, I just wanted to thank you for the article. Being half Israeli, I've heard the strangest questions from acquaintances over the last few years, but the strangest is, "doesn't your family want to move out of Israel?" The question baffles me, not because I agree and feel Israel is unsafe for my loved ones, but rather because I understand that Israelis just live. They don't want to move; they don't even really feel that unsafe when going about their daily lives. They just live with the matzav. And you did an excellent job explaining that.
Gene Weingarten: And they ride buses. Because they have to get the figs for dinner. It is hard to explain, but there it is.
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A more positive take than Becker's:
Irving Yalom, in his "Existential Psychology," makes a point that I've always found helpful (that is, once I read his chapter on "fear of death" -- initially I skipped it, thinking I had no such fear. Yes, I know) -- he says something to the effect that "death will kill you, but the thought of death can save you" -- in the sense that it makes you focus on what's really important in life. Something your earlier depressed poster might consider. It's a way of looking at the fact of death more positively.
Gene Weingarten: Good point. Actually, that reminds me of something I wanted to mention. One of the reasons I am glad I did this story is that it allowed me to begin with the line "The meaning of life is that it ends," and attribute it to Kafka. I was righting an old wrong.
Many years ago, when I was writing my first book, about hypochondria, I wrote the same line. I thought I had read it before, but couldn't remember for sure. I asked a Washington Post librarian to check it out. Neither of us could find it (this was pre-Google) and after months, I sort of gave up, and simply wrote it, attributing it to myself. Well, by 2000, with the Web intact, it didn't take long for me to discover I had ripped off Kafka.
I feel better now.
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Mommyland:
One thing struck me after reading this very interesting article was that, none of the people (Bernsteins, etc.) said, stop, let's do something to bring more peace. Instead they all seemed to be going about living life. Did it never occur to them to protest the continuing settlements that the Israeli government builds? (I am using Israel as an example because you did). So why does not the sense of impending doom cause people to work for greater peace (not just within your community, in this case Israel) but across the world?
Also, the implicit assumption made by you and countless others, is an alcohol-swilling, ogling Muslim = good Muslim, annoyed me.
I am agnostic as far as I can tell, but consider myself Muslim (primarily because this is how I was raised, and how the world continues to view me). I do not however drink, eat pork, etc., the hallmarks of "moderate" behavior in the West. I live in U.S., am a scientist, mother, etc. (pre-empting the ususal questions)
Gene Weingarten: Reasonable point. I intended no offense, and if you took it, I apologize.
As for working for peace, many Israelis do.
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Charlottesville, Va.:
A very insightful, if also very disturbing article -- particularly coming from someone who has caught herself writing, or saying, more than once "if I die." One thing that I thought of, when Sept. 11th occurred, and everyone was saying how the world had changed, was that no, it hadn't; it had just caught up with us again, and reminded us, as a nation, that we were no more immortal than we were as individuals.
Gene Weingarten: I like that.
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Palookaville:
Twenty years ago at Vanderbilt, I took a course named "Death and Human Meaning," which featured Becker, Elie Wiesel's "Night," and "The World According to Garp" among others. Garp gave us humor, death and despair in approximately equal measure and, I think, gave us hapless undergrads a road map for constructing meaning. Otherwise, the Neil Young albums would have just pushed me over the edge. My point (and there is one) is that I think your Sunday article was just the flip side of your usual fare (which is great.)
Gene Weingarten: Believe it or not, I understand what you are saying, and agree with you. Thank you.
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Washington, D.C.:
Gene:
Thank you for a profundly moving article that touched on a number of universal fears and offered insight without being preachy, sappy or maudlin.
As for McLean, the earlier poster who said it wasn't funny -- I disagree wholeheartedly -- I found some points of dark humor that led to almost audible chuckles. Of course, that just lends to your "hunor as a coping mechanism" theory. Speaking of which, on an anecdotal basis, did you find Israelis to have a different or more deveoped sense of humor than Americans -- possibly as a function of using it to cope with the apparent insanity around them?
Gene Weingarten: Israeli humor is fatalistic. Understandably. I love fatalistic humor.
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Alexandria, Va.:
As an American, my first experience with terror security was as an exchange student in France where the FLNC was conducting bombings so frequently that they don't make international news. Trash cans were pulled up. A restaurant was evacuated because my friend forgot her backpack. It was annoying, but I could see how it was was related to what was going on. I don't see how the color scheme helps at all, except to make us more afraid of something individuals have no control over.
Gene Weingarten: Personally, I think the color scheme is politics. Yes, when I was in Paris, I noticed that there simple are no garbage pails in public places. Transparent plastic bags, so you can see bombs.
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Baltimore, Md.:
In Israel, did you ever hear the expression "every bullet has an address?" A variation of "when you're number's up...," it means that if it's your time to go, the steel girder will find you whether you're in New York or Colorado. If it's not your time to go, then you're safe, wherever you are.
Gene Weingarten: A delightful philosophy, as a coping mechanism, but do you buy it? I don't believe things are predetermined, and we are dumb actors in a drama scripted elsewhere. It's simply preposterous.
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Munich, Germany:
The author of "Imperial Hubris", a former CIA Agent, has written that the USA would be much better off in terms of terrorism with an unbiased foreign policy in the Isreal-Palistinian conflict, instead of favoring the Israeli point of view.
What's your opinion?
Gene Weingarten: I don't know. I claim no expertise in this area, but my gut reaction is that Israel and the U.S.A. have very common interests, and those interests have nothing to do with the fact that Israel happens to be a Jewish state. It is a modern, capitalist secular democracy in a very non-modern, non-secular, non-capitalist, non-democratic part of the world.
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Washington, D.C.:
To abigone, I would offer some advice. Be careful. WWII and the U.S.' involvement therein does not fall in anyone's book as a terrorist act, unless you count radical fundamentalists who hate America and seize on those horrible and sickening events as a call to arms. Very easy to dismiss someone who starts sounding reminiscent of murderers. Not so easy to dismiss someone who's chats are often about the Flash and the objective taste of green peppers.
Thank you for a wonderful shift in focus and tone. I can honestly say that my appreciation for you as a wonderful, funny writer can now be modified to drop the ", funny" altogether. Just don't make a habit of it. I still like reading your piece and debating the Flash.
Gene Weingarten: Thank you, but I think, if you are defining a terrorist act as being a military act designed to frighten and sow despair among the enemy, and crush his will to resist, Hiroshima and Nagasaki were terrorist acts. This is not saying they were wrong. But they served the purpose intended. They may well have been right, in terms of lives ultimately saved.
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Lansing, Mich.:
But do you really think we have that much control over how we live and die? That's almost scarier than mortality.
Gene Weingarten: Yes, I do.
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Washington, D.C.:
My cousin's wedding was in the Dolphinarium complex in Tel Aviv four days after the disco there was suicide-bombed and 20 teenagers were killed. We had to step over the make-shift memorial to get to the wedding. Over 400 people came to the wedding, and we danced until 4 a.m. when the booze ran out.
Gene Weingarten: I've been looking for the perfect post to end on, and this is it.
Thank you all for an intriguing discussion, and I apologize for the many questions I didn't get to. For some of you, see you tomorrow.
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