Feed the Press

A new crisis has gripped the media village at FleetCenter, one that threatens to overwhelm the message the Democrats are trying to convey.

As some of the nation's most esteemed journalists make their way into their work quarters, the Secret Service is confiscating their liquids.

A plastic bottle of water -- seized. A small bottle of juice -- give it up, buddy!

The Secret Service is blaming the DNC. I, on behalf of the thirsty masses, demand an explanation.

They will be responsible for any dehydration that occurs.

Not to get conspiratorial or anything, but could this be an attempt to steer the journalistic captives toward the outrageously overpriced snack bar? Media people are grumbling about the $2 bags of chips and $9.50 for sandwiches that, shall we say, are not getting rave reviews.

Long hours, cramped quarters, these we can endure on behalf of a nation thirsting for news. But not if we're left high and dry.