Bureaucratic memos often stray far enough from basic English to be considered a distinct language. A wonderful example comes to us from Terry R. Little, acquisition management adviser at the Missile Defense Agency.
In a memo last month to "All Element Program Managers," Little wrote: "The Missile Defense Agency Director wants to capitalize on the extraordinarily hard work undertaken throughout the agency to develop and deliver Ballistic Missile Defense System (BMDS) capabilities. Our purpose is to realize the solidarity of your hard work, reduce the distractions and facilitate the commonality in our focus, and maximize the efficient utilization of MDA resources.
_____In the Loop_____
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More In the Loop
"The goal is to eliminate wasted energy and encourage harmonizing individual energies towards the common vision to develop and field an integrated BMDS capable of providing a layered defense for the homeland, deployed forces, friends, and allies against ballistic missiles of all ranges in all phases of flight.
"I am forming the BMDS Integration Working Group (IWG) to harmonize the separate element contracts into a coherent whole. The IWG will need to have insightful discussions, innovative coordinate actions, and a collegial environment to form and evaluate alternatives that reward integrated BMDS demonstrated capabilities."
Then, inexplicably, Little lapses into English. "To assist with the IWG's success, I need your support," he writes. But he says not to forget that "the timeline is very aggressive. I would like to have the harmonization path ahead. . . ."
Any more New Age harmony and we'll all assume the lotus position and start chanting.
Meanwhile, Little manages a program that used to be called the Boost Phase Intercept Program. Then it was determined that you would have to be really, really lucky to knock out enemy missiles in the boost or launch phase, so the name was changed to the Kinetic Energy Intercept program. But the program remained the same.
Though a Republican program, the KEI has had a rocky time on the Hill. The Republican Congress whacked its budget last year and this year cut an additional $163 million.
KEI put out a "Top Ten" list last month of the technical issues the program needed to resolve to stay on track, including such minor things as the booster for the rockets and the means of finding the target.
But it appears there are only nine items on the list. Maybe Congress cut the program because they felt KEI couldn't count?
Nonprofits Fear U.S. Logo Is a Bull's-Eye
A nasty battle is brewing between nonprofit international aid groups and the Agency for International Development. Seems AID is demanding that the groups put the AID logo on vehicles and projects when AID is paying most of the tab for the activities.
The foreign aid law, AID deputy chief Frederick Schieck said, requires that "programs shall be identified overseas" if taxpayers are paying. Aid recipients should know that the American people are providing this, he said.
But putting the AID logo on vehicles and projects these days, especially in Iraq and Afghanistan, is like pasting a bull's-eye on the pickup, the groups argue. With aid workers getting kidnapped and killed, the timing doesn't seem quite right.
Schieck said AID was "well aware" the organizations are "concerned, correctly," and "we're not trying to ram this down anyone's throat. . . . We're very sensitive to the security issue." For that reason, AID officials overseas, not in Washington, would have the authority to waive the requirement.