NAMES & FACES

Discovering that apples, oranges and New Zealand don't mix cost Hilary Swank $163. (Reed Saxon -- AP)

A Photo Frame?

Unbeknown to Jennifer Aniston, the very day she filed for divorce from luscious Brad Pitt last week, he was busy playing house with none other than his headline-making, much-rumored-about co-star, Angelina Jolie. For a photo shoot. Though they role-played as husband and wife for W mag, an onlooker told People, "The only time Brad and Angelina came in contact was to take a picture."

But the stars -- who appear together in the upcoming movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" -- did chuckle when the set crew played Frank Sinatra's "Love and Marriage."

A Top Banana Loses Appeal

Take a lesson from two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank: You want to eat fruit on a flight to New Zealand, you better actually eat it or it's gonna cost ya. One hundred and sixty-three smackeroos, to be exact.

Swank got into Kiwi trouble when she failed to declare an apple and an orange after arriving in Auckland in January. This, sadly, did not comply with the nation's uber-strict quarantine laws.

Mrs. Chad Lowe appealed the penalty in court. "After my 20-hour flight I simply forgot I had one orange and one apple. I do apologize sincerely," she explained in a handwritten letter. Appeal rejected.

Good thing she's a million-dollar baby.

Tough Sledding for Charles

Maybe Prince Charles has pre-wedding jitters as he prepares to marry his love, Camilla Parker Bowles, next week. He didn't seem in the cheeriest of moods yesterday while at a photo op with sons William and Harry at a Swiss ski resort.

Mumbling under his breath, the future king of England was overheard saying, "I hate doing this," and described the gathering journos as "bloody people!"

'Hanoi Jane,' Red-Faced

Decades after Jane Fonda was dubbed "Hanoi Jane" for going to North Vietnam in 1972, she tells CBS's "60 Minutes" that she regrets some actions during her trip but doesn't regret going.

"The image of Jane Fonda, Barbarella, Henry Fonda's daughter . . . sitting on an enemy aircraft gun was a betrayal," she confessed, adding that the act was "the largest lapse of judgment that I can even imagine."

But as for visiting Hanoi, she wouldn't retreat. "There are hundreds of American delegations that had met with the POWs. Both sides were using the POWs for propaganda. . . . It's not something that I will apologize for."

Her memoir, "Jane Fonda: My Life So Far," will be released Tuesday.

Noted . . .

As of yesterday, Joan Kennedy, the former Mrs. Ted Kennedy and mother of his children, remains hospitalized with a broken shoulder and a concussion after she took a spill in her Boston neighborhood Monday. Kennedy, 68, was found sprawled on the sidewalk in the rain by a neighbor . . . Journalists are funny? We mean, intentionally? Some are going to try to be witty tonight at "Fear and Loathing at the Press Club," a tribute to the late Hunter S. Thompson by some of Thompson's buddies, including George McGovern's former campaign director, Frank Mankiewicz, and The Hill's Al Eisele. Other wits: Time's Matt Cooper, Fox News's James Rosen, Roll Call's MaryAnn Akers and the Nation's David Korn. Will Durst headlines. Can't go? You can catch it on the tube at some point; we're told C-SPAN is going to tape it.

. . . and Quoted

"Understanding [is] vital in a modern society. If you see a rather manly person in women's clothes -- it might not be a lesbian. It might be Camilla Parker Bowles."

-- Billy Crystal at Monday's Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Media Awards dinner, as reported by the New York Daily News.

-- Compiled by Anne Schroeder

from staff and wire reports