"I can't -- find the words."
The thin, somewhat frail old woman sitting on the side of the bed is Julie Harris, and she is, by most reckonings, the first lady of the American theater. Over a career that reaches back 60 years she has embodied, among many others, Sally Bowles, Joan of Arc, a Depression-era marathon dancer, Mary Todd Lincoln and Emily Dickinson. Her life on the stage seemingly came to an end four years ago, when she suffered a stroke that has left her in an ongoing struggle to express herself.
Harris appeared often in Washington, seven times at the Kennedy Center, most recently in "The Gin Game" in 1999. She was back here to attend Wednesday's Ford's Theatre opening of "The Member of the Wedding" -- the play that made her a star back in 1950 -- and to appear at a Smithsonian "Evening With Julie Harris" event at the Hirshhorn the next night.
Julie Harris in the 1952 film version of "The Member of the Wedding" with Brandon de Wilde and Ethel Waters.
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For her first visit to Washington in six years, Harris, 79, has been treated to a small, unwelcoming room in a mid-level hotel not far from the theater, which explains her sitting on the bed: The chair is for the guest, and no amount of protest can change that. She does promise that she'll speak up if she gets uncomfortable.
I interviewed Harris almost six years ago in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., when she was doing "The Gin Game." She'd given two performances that day and had another the next day, but she sat up until 1 a.m., talking about the play and looking back over her life and career. Then as now, the blue-gray eyes sparkled, the wry chuckle erupted frequently, the heaven-gentle voice warmed the room.
Today, of course, the subject is not a new play but the stroke and her life since it happened. But talking about anything is hard.
"Yes, it is," she says, laughing softly, "because after I had the stroke, I had lessons in speech and -- I have a wonderful person who comes to me three days a week but I stopped doing that because it was Christmastime and I was, I'm not, I'm not doing what I should do for, uh, for -- because I can speak a little bit but I'm not like I could be, because of -- I can't write. I have a place -- 'Thank you for your letter, I hope you are fine, I'm okay,' but I can't -- "
It's hard to get it out.
"Yeah, it is. It is. And it's -- I feel as if I could almost do it, but I have something -- I have, I have -- "
Aphasia?
"Oh, that's it," she says quickly. "That's it. . . . I can walk, I can -- I'm a little bit hesitant, because this part of my brain" -- she points to the left side of her head -- "affected. And, and this is why I have aphasia. It would be wonderful if I could be better, but I can't. I can't. If I could say -- if somebody would say, 'Come on, come on, come on, come on, do it' -- but I can't. And that's terribly frustrating." She laughs. "Ohhhhh, yes. Oh yes."
Aphasia is defined as the total or partial loss of the power to use or understand words, and it's usually caused by disease or injury, such as that caused by a stroke. Many studies have found that rehabilitation efforts are more successful with younger stroke patients than with older ones.
Still, Harris has shown a lot of improvement since the first days.
"When I had the stroke, I couldn't say anything at all," she remembers. "For a long time. Yes. I could say, 'Hello' and 'I'm okay,' 'Hello' and 'Goodbye' and 'No' and 'Yes.' But that was it."
