Many of the objections to re-gifting make me wonder how many people really know what the word "gift" means.
A gift is defined as something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation. I didn't find a single definition that said the giver had to make a sacrifice.
I did an online discussion recently about budgeting for the holidays. About half of the questions were from people worried that they would give what would be perceived as a cheap gift. I'm amazed at how people are willing to put themselves into debt for fear that they'll be scorned for not spending enough.
I've heard people say that they wouldn't want a gift that has been recycled. Why?
If the gift is something you might need or want, why should someone have to purchase it if they already have the item in their possession?
I'll tell you why: because we really don't believe that it's the thought that counts. Too many people believe the purchasing of material goods is evidence of love or appreciation. Therefore, the more you spend, the greater your love.
If this weren't true, then why would you care whether a gift was inexpensive, free to the giver or recycled? Isn't it good enough that they even thought to give you something in the first place?
In truth, we all miss the gift-giving mark sometimes. So why not turn those mistakes into presents for others?
To that end, here are a few of my own re-gifting rules:
• Don't tell. Don't lie if asked, but don't volunteer out of some misplaced guilt. If you are giving what you feel is an appropriate gift, you don't need to reveal its origin.
• When you receive something you don't want and suspect you'll recycle it, label it with the name of the giver. You don't want to give the same present to the person who gave it to you.
• Re-wrap any gift you're re-gifting. Be sure to remove any evidence of a previous giver (especially those little gift cards on gift bags).
• The gift should be in good shape. Re-gifting doesn't mean getting rid of junk to clear closet space.
• Don't try to pretend your gift was expensive by purposely putting it in a box or bag from a pricey store. That is deceptive and could prove embarrassing to the receiver should he or she try to return the item to the store.
Now let me be clear: I do not advocate passing along some hideous item even your dog wouldn't want to chew on. Personally, I think the only criterion for a gift is that you think the person will appreciate it.
Most important, keep in mind that any gift you get -- whether it was bought, homemade or re-gifted -- should be accepted with grace. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "He is a good man who can receive a gift well."
While Michelle Singletary welcomes comments and column ideas, she cannot offer specific personal financial advice. Readers can write to her at The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071 or by e-mail at singletarym@washpost.com.
