Career Track Live

The Washington area is a magnet for smart, ambitious young workers. Post columnist Mary Ellen Slayter writes a regular column for these professionals who are establishing their careers locally, and offers advice online as well.

The transcript follows below.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Mary Ellen Slayter: Good afternoon! Hope all is going well. My next column is about the book Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis, Alexandra Robbins' follow-up to the best-seller. I liked the book, and I am pretty psyched that Alexandra is going to be my guest on the Nov. 19 chat. Any of you had a chance to read the book? What did you think about the original?

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Washington, D.C.: I know you've touched on this before, but ... In a job advertisement for a job I'm very interested in, the ad states "Cover letter, resume and salary requirements, a must, should be sent to...." I have no idea what salary this type of position "should" pay. Any ideas on how to handle?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Well, do your homework! There are plenty of Web sites, such as Monster.com that will give you ballpark figures.

As for their "salary requirements" request, for now say it's negotiable, but you'd like to hear more about the opportunity.

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Just Plain Jeanne in Tallahassee, Fla.: I'm an "older" woman who hates being called "Miss Jeanne" by younger co-workers. I have asked them repeatedly to simply call me Jeanne, but they refuse, insisting that calling older persons "Miss So and So" is a Southern tradition and a sign of respect. When I explain that it's disrespectful to call people by names other than what they wish, they laugh and say they can't help it. I don't understand why they would want to deliberately annoy me. I consider myself a nice person, hard-worker, considerate of others and would never address someone by a name after being asked not to. Growing up (in Texas)we were taught to call our elders Mr. or Mrs. Smith, unless and until they asked us to call them by their first name, or whatever. Any suggestions, or do I just give in?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Oh man, I had to break myself of this habit when I left the South. It was not easy. Now I get in trouble for the reverse when I visit my family. My mother, in particular, is a bit freaked out by the absence of "ma'ams" and "sirs" in my speech. Don't even get her started on "miss." She thinks I am setting a bad example for my nephews, but since they all now live in Ohio, I think she should trade in the coke for some pop, and embrace the ways of her adopted Midwestern home.

And I really do think it's just a habit on their part, not an attempt to annoy or disrespect you. If you have an otherwise good relationship with them, let it go. If you see other signs that they are marginalizing you for your age and gender, that's a whole 'nother issue.

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Alexandria, Virginia: Good afternoon,
The last 3 companies I worked for are all in bankruptcy proceedings and criminal investigations due to the incredible corruption of each companies group of executives. As each of these 3 companies were owned and operated by Republicans, I have changed my resume to state my desire to work with, and for, a company that is ethical and, by default, this excludes any company that is owned/operated by Republicans. Seeing this statement, in writing, has generated some interesting responses. What do you think?
Many thanks,
Won't get fooled again in Alexandria

Mary Ellen Slayter: I think it's unfair. There are plenty of corrupt Democrats. The current wave just appears to mostly Republican. Perhaps because they are in power, and have the means to misuse power.

The Savings and Loan Scandal, for example, was a bipartisan disaster. The "Keating Five" included Dems as well Republicans.

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RE: Just Plain Jeanne : Mary,

You may be right that they're not delibrately trying to annoy or disrespect her, but when they say, "They just can't help" calling her Miss Jeanne, I'm guessing that really means, "I don't care enough to try."

If it really bothers her, I'd suggest she start fighting fire with fire. If there's a James in her office, call him Jimmy. A Beth? Call her Bethers. Petty? Maybe. But they'll get the message fast.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Maybe. I could see this technique being effective, and pretty funny, actually. I could also see it adding to the tension, in a very unproductive way. It depends on the atmosphere of the office. It's a tough call.

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Arlington, Va.: I'm a regular reader, and just wanted to chime in. I like my job. I enjoy what I do, and I have a great boss. I am in no hurry to move anywhere.

My only concern is that I may be missing out by NOT job-hopping. This is the first job I got after I left college and I'm wondering if there's a benefit to job-hopping early (financial, varied experience, etc.) Do HR people look at resumes like mine and say, "Oh, he's only worked at one place, so he doesn't have the contacts we need"? Is there a financial penalty for staying in one place? Help a new guy out.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Do you feel like you've grown professionally, and will continue to do so? Have your duties and responsibilities expanded since you first came on board? If so, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. If you're happy, stick with it. You're very lucky!

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RE: "Miss Jeanne": Me again. Thanks for your comments; I feel better already. My co-workers and I have very good relationships, they are respectful in every other sense and I love them dearly and also treat them with respect. It's hard giving up one's youth and getting older when you're not quite ready for it. I occasionally find something from AARP in my mailbox and ask myself "what are they sending me this crap for, this is for old people?"

Mary Ellen Slayter: I can imagine. I sometimes even have a hard time not seeing myself as kid anymore. However, getting older is pretty awesome, I have to say, especially when you consider the alternative ...

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Washington, D.C.: What, if any, federal agencies have good entry level positions available for college graduates with liberal arts degrees?

Mary Ellen Slayter: All of them! Many have great internship programs that train liberal arts grads for specific jobs. Check with your college's career center for more information.

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Bethesda, Md.: Mary Ellen, exactly what is agronomy? And how, exactly, did you decide to major in that?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Agronomy is soil science. I majored in it because at LSU that was the best way to study what I was interested in: environmental science. I was particularly interested in how metals move through the soil and wetland hydrology. The best work on these areas was in the College of Agriculture, so there I went. It's a very practical mindset. Instead of doing exercises from a book about wetlands, I was in them up to my knees. Fun stuff. But pretty gross. I think if most people knew how bad wetlands smell, we'd have a lot less support for saving them.

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Atlanta, Ga. (but from N.Y.): Boy! Do I NOT like being called ma'am. When I moved to
the south, I believe I was all of 25, and getting called
ma'am is like getting called grandma - I was like: why
don't they just call me MISS! After 10 years, I'm getting a
little more used to it (and a little older) but I think it's
HIGHLY disrespectful and says to someone: hey, I think
you're older than dirt!
And don't get me started on the disingenuous pretending
to be nice thing...
BTW, I'm married to a fourth generation suth'ner...

Mary Ellen Slayter: See, this is a major cultural gap. Because in the South, respect comes with age. To the point of reverance in many cases. Not saying ma'am and sir to adults is a supreme sign of disrespect in this part of the country. This isn't true in other regions, obviously. And it leads to a lot of confusion and hurt feelings when people move around.

Also, It says something about ageism in general American culture that it offends people so deeply to be recognized as adults, much less elders. Personally, I rather like being a grown up.

There's a lot I don't like about the South, and there are reasons why I left, but a healthy respect for the value and wisdom of older people is one thing I have kept with me.

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Arlington, Va.: I'm curious how the election results are playing out in different offices. I'm mostly apolitical myself, but people in my office (fed. agency) mostly leaned heavily toward the challenger, and they've been very vocal in their distress since Tuesday. My girlfriend, by contrast, works on a military base, and there's been no political talk at all. How are other offices responding?

Mary Ellen Slayter: People seem to have taken this very much to heart. Some places, like a military base, are traditionally apolitical--for good reason, I think. My own workplace is also pretty subdued. Obviously people have their opinions, but journalists try to keep that sort of expression to the minimum.

How's the mood out there, chatters?

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RE: Resume requirements: If I received a resume that specified that the person would not work for a "republican" company, it would go right in the trash. And I'm a Democrat. It is a strange thing to put in writing and you will be hard-pressed to get interviews. Better yet, keep it to yourself and ask the company about their ethics when you are in the interview. And don't generalize about people based on their beliefs. You just had a string of bad luck. My last three bad bosses were women (so am I), but I wouldn't dream of putting "will only work for a man" on my resume!

Mary Ellen Slayter: Very well put.

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Washington, D.C.: I am about to be offered a new job. I was the only one interviewed and thus the only one available to take the job. My feeling is that they need to offer me a very attractive offer to ween me away from my current position. How do I approach the job negotiation.

I looked at salary.com for the average salary, but I think I deserve above average. I feel guilty asking for so much more money.

Mary Ellen Slayter: You feel guilty now, and you'll feel resentful later if you don't ask for what you need. Ask for a bit more than you think you're worth. Negotiate from there.

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Mary Ellen,

I've spent the last couple of years in communications management positions, but a few months ago struck out on my own as a freelancer. I've enjoyed my freedom, but recently I came across a writing job, no management involved, that I'm really interested in. I'd like to apply, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm overqualified or, worse, a flight risk, since I'd already be willing to quit freelancing full time. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Oh just apply, silly!

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Mary Ellen Slayter: I probably shouldn't have been so glib there. But I just hate to see people pre-emptively disqualify themselves for a job they are interested in. They'll tell you if they have reason for concern.

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Re: Not just a southern thing: I grew up in the midwest. I say "ma'am" and "sir" because that is what I was taught was polite to say. I also am highly uncomfortable referring to my elders by their first name. I've been married nearly a year and I still can't call my in-laws by their first names. It's just not how I was raised!; All adults are Mr. So-and-so or Mrs./Ms./Miss (depending on their preference) So-and-so.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Hmmm. Maybe it's more urban vs. rural, instead of regional. Did you grow up in the city, burbs, or country?

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McLean, Va.: Hi Mary,
I'm up for review soon. My company has asked fo rme to give them my salary requirements. How do respond? If I ask for too much I look bad, if I ask for too little I short change myself. They've put me in quite a corner!

Mary Ellen Slayter: If you ask for too much, they'll just say no. But if you do a bit of research, you'll get a better ballpark idea of what to ask for. Also, be prepared to justify the request, by explaining how you've contributed to the company's bottom line.

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Bowie, Md.: Hi Mary Ellen!

Here's an interesting situation... I was approached by a former client for a VP-level position the company created that is similar to what I am doing at my current firm. Although I wasn't actively looking for a career switch, I decided to interview and see if it might be a good fit for me.

I received an offer from this company last Friday, and asked if I could think about it over the weekend and give an answer mid-this week. In the interim I asked the client a few more questions regarding the weekly details of the position, travel, etc. We scheduled the final yes/no decision meeting for yesterday (Thursday) because of her calendar constraints.

On Wednesday morning, she called to leave a voicemail saying that she had done some thinking, and decided based upon my follow-up questions and the amount of time it had taken for me to make my decision, that it would no longer be a good fit and that she was rescinding the offer of employment. Right before she left her message, incidentally, my current firm decided to match her salary and benefits during a heart-to-heart career talk with them.

Although the situation ended up working in my favor, I was more than a bit shocked by her sudden change of heart. I could have been in real trouble had my company said instead, "Sounds like a good opportunity - nice knowing you and good luck." I was trying to make sure it was the right opportunity for me, and that I would be as invested in the position as they needed me to be.

Is it rude or out of the norm to ask for one week to make a decision, or to ask specific follow up questions regarding the position?

Mary Ellen Slayter: No, you were not out of line or rude. You were thoughtful and deliberate. Be glad you don't work there. They sound rather flaky

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Washington, D.C.: I'll be starting law school in a few months and plan to take 3 years to complete my studies in environmental law. Where do you think would be the best place for me to look for work once I graduate and do you think the job market for environmental lawyers will be dismal or okay in 3 years? Thanks!

Mary Ellen Slayter: You know, first you have to pass the first year of law school. Put your energy there, instead of planning three years out. You might not even be interested in environmental law by then.

Your school's career center will be able to help you with job hunting when the time comes.

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Mary Ellen Slayter: Later, ya'll. See you in two weeks.

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