TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

Original "Tell Me About It" columns will appear in Sunday Source while Carolyn is on maternity leave. The following are excerpts from spring 2003 live discussions on washingtonpost.com.

Carolyn:

What's the best way to get rid of hate, anger and resentment toward someone who has wronged you for years, and you finally managed to get away from?

-- Stewing

Don't get rid of it, recycle. Donate something to someone who needs it, be nice to animals and toast your freedom. Kind of like turning old soda bottles into picnic benches and fleece.

Carolyn:

Do you think there are people out there who are incapable of happiness because they derive a large part of their identity from being miserable?

-- Friend

I don't think they're incapable of happiness so much as afraid of it. When a person gets her hopes up about something, she runs the risk of being let down; to some people that's the same thing as looking stupid. So, they just play Eeyore and that way the world never tells them any bad news they didn't already know.

I also think some people complain all the time because they can't figure out what else to say. Almost a shyness thing.

Carolyn:

Okay, personal question. How much does childbirth hurt, really? I can't seem to get a straight answer. Does an epidural help very much? I have a very low pain tolerance and am scared to death of childbirth.

-- Maryland

I don't think you can get a straight answer, since it's different for everybody.