The Reliable Source

Programming Note: The Reliable Source weekly discussion has moved to Thursdays at Noon ET.

After a 25-year career as a distinguished editor, feature writer, investigative reporter and war correspondent, Rich Leiby has never, ever won the Pulitzer Prize. Now he's found his life's calling as a gossip columnist. He'll take your tips, chew the fat, discuss the dish and babble in cliche-ridden prose right here once a week.

This week's columns:
Wake Up and Smell the Controversy, (Sept. 19)
Princess Pushy No More, (Sept. 21)
A Democratic Campaign Line Good Enough to Use Twice, (Sept. 22)
A Bestseller Race That May Not Go to the Swift, (Sept. 23)

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Richard Leiby: Hey, "Abu Boulous' here--that's my Arabic handle, meaning "Father of Paul." I use it whenever I fly through Dulles and want to be detained. You want fun times? Get yourself detained at Dulles and grilled about your suspected "ties to terrorists." I know, I've been there.

Readers of the Reliable Source in the Lloyd Grove era may recall that I was interrogated and held under gunpoint as a suspected enemy of the state last year when I voluntarily submitted an Iraqi tea tray to Homeland Security agents upon my return from Baghdad. True story: The federal agent assigned to me guard me even followed me into the bathroom and inspected the urinal after I used it! That's what I call top-notch anti-terror tactics.

I mention this NOT because I'm against fighting terrrorism. I'm just feeling feisty and pro-Constitution this noontime. And, I've been listening to some choice Cat Stevens cuts -- not sung by Mr. Islam himself, but covers by Kristin Hersh and Travis. You can find them on a new CD for the "Everwood" television series. Hersh sings "Trouble" and Travis does "Don't Be Shy." (Somebody named Leigh Nash covers "Father and Son" too.)Say what you will about Cat's religion today, but the man wrote heartfelt tunes. Anybody who went to college in the '70s--and I know you're out there -- want to share memories of dorm room canoodling to "Tea for the Tillerman"?

All right, already. Sorry for the distraction. Oh, and here's the link to the Iraqi tray saga, in case you missed it!

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washingtonpost.com: Reliable Source: Annals of Homeland Security, (Post, May 23, 2003)

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Mr. Leiby:
RE: Today's major item on the Swifties celebration.

Why did you NOT mention Regnery Publishing President Alfred Regnery, Marketing Director Alex Novak, Post columnist and Phillips Foundation Trustee Robert Novak, Phillips International Chairman/President Thomas Phillips, and Eagle Publishing President Jeffrey Carneal -- as active attendees?

Richard Leiby: Because I did not swill free Amstels with any of those gentlemen, though I did meet Mr. Carneal. And I want to thank him for inviting me. I enjoyed the beer.

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A bad dream from Monterey, Calif.: Rock stars have their groupies, and now you've been around long enough to have... LieBees!

See, it's like we're all interested in the "Buzz," right?

Or maybe we buzz around looking for "lies."

Or maybe we're like social butterflies, but much more evil: We sting.

Or maybe it's just a thing with your name.

Regardless, I think you'd look great in a Killer LieBee costume with little antennae bee balls on springs sticking out of your head -- with dozens of us little LieBees swarming around you, of course.

Halloween is just around the corner, so make it official, okay? We need to give Ann some lead time for the costumes.

Besides, nothing else is going on.

Richard Leiby: Please, can somebody get a net? Or hand me my Zoloft? This is going to be a wild ride today, peeps.

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Alexandria, Va.: Richard,

Can't you invite Cat Stevens here for a special benefit or something? Maybe at Ashcroft's Justice Department steps?

Richard Leiby: Sure. I'd suggest the concert benefit Yaser Hamdi, the American-born Saudi who spent two years of his life in solitary lockdown, with no access to attorneys, based on the Pentagon's never-substantiated claims that he fought for the Taliban! Now, after constant prodding from Norfolk's US District Judge Robert Doumar--a Reagan appointee, and a hero of civil liberties, in my view--and an assist from the U.S. Supreme Court, Hamdi has been released. No hard feelings, we're sure.(But if he wasn't a jihadi before this happened, we have to wonder about his feelings now.)

The Constitution is a wonderful thing, people. Protect it.

But let's talk about Britney Spears, okay?

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Silver Spring, Md.: DUUUUUDE -- what is up with Britney? Is she... isn't she? I can't stand the not knowing.

Richard Leiby: Here's what I truly believe: Her breasts ARE real.

But as they say at the end of any good, even forged, legal document, "Further Affiant Sayeth Not."

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Los Angeles, Calif.: When will "Lion" Leiby be interviewing Kitty Kelly? And will you be talking to any of Neil Bush's spurned mates? Also, Do they still call Neil the Silverado Kid? (Why save, when you can spend?) After all, it's their money!

Richard Leiby: I met Kitty Kelley last week and wrote something about it, but the item was so utterly unmemorable I have no idea what I wrote. I have her book and I have her phone number. (She inscribed her number in my copy of "The Family," warning me not to call unless I was prepared for a pop quiz.)

I know the book covers the Silverdo era and the messy divorce between Neil and Sharon Bush. I've skimmed the index.

I also know that Kitty's vintage red Mercedes has a license plate that says: "MEOW."

Is that enough for now?

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Home of the Liberty Bell: But... did you "import" the tray from the customs weenies or is Tom Ridge serving Jaegermeister in little cups on it?

Richard Leiby: I reclaimed the tray after filing a legal challenge against Customs. The tray's liberation also was accomplished thanks to Lloyd Grove, who wrote repeated items on the subject. I am forever in his debt.

The tray hangs today on the wall of my study, along with my numerous journalism awards and posters of Britney Spears. (Her midriff is real also, I aver.)

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North Carolina: Waahh! Any new dirt on the Bush Twins? I feel like I'm going through withdrawal.

Richard Leiby: They seem to be under very tight wraps, probably by edict of the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign. We haven't had any sightings of them in local bars in weeks.

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Anonymous: Good afternoon.

Cat Stevens donated money to the 9/11 fund. Stevens is a vocal opponent of the war. Hm... a Muslim that advocates peace. I guess that's enough to get deported now. It's a good thing Ted Kennedy wasn't foreign or a Muslim.

If Stevens posed such a serious threat, then why not lock him up? Why deport him?

I'm sick of this racist Administration. I hope a Kerry Administration will end the racism.

Sorry, had to hyperventilate today. Thank you.

Richard Leiby: Good thing you're Anonymous, friend. You sound like someone who Hates Freedom. But on the other hand, here's the other hand ...

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Greenville, S.C.: Could you have Salman Rushdie at the Cat Stevens benefit so those two could get past the whole "I hope you get murdered because I didn't like your book" thing? It would be a great thing for civil liberties.

Richard Leiby: Red staters, join the fray! All are welcome in the Mighty Quidnunc Mosque.

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Washington D.C.: I think those wimpy records Cat Stevens made 30 years age is reason enough to keep him out of the country. Please say you agree, o Clash-loving Quidnunc.

Richard Leiby: Well, today I suggested in the column that the TSA ought to put Phil Collins, Donovan, Rod Stewart and the members of ABBA on the no-fly list. My editor wouldn't let me add Paul McCartney to that list, claiming I would outrage readers.

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West Coast: Your blub at the top of this discussion page lists you as havng had a "distinguished" 25 year career as a journalist. Were you distinguished straight out of the gates? I'm guessing you were simply clocking in and going to work, and it took at least a decade before you realizend you were distinguised. Kindly extinguish the speculation, Dr. Pulitzer! When did it hit you? The first day, you say! Amazing!

Richard Leiby: I'm not going to boast, Mr. West Coast, but I will make this side note: In a Virginia journalistic competition a couple of years ago, the winner was Bob Woodward. I came in second. I have a lot of also-ran commendations like that on my resume. Truth be told, I have edited two Pulitzer Prize finalists in my career, but didn't write those pieces.

And, it's true: Iwas the second choice for THIS job. Anne Schroeder was supposed to get it, but the editors decided she needed a couple of years of "seasoning."

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Virginia: I was watching Maureen Dowd's book party on C-SPAN. The woman with Joe Wilson seemed not to be on the camera. She was briefly showed. Is she his secret wife Plame?

Richard Leiby: A reliable spy, who happens to be Anne Schroeder, tells me Plame was at the party. I didn't see them there myself, because I was in another room, drinking with Mike Isikoff.

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Clifton, Va.: Cat Stevens and yourself are enemies of the state you should both be forced to think non-alcoholic beer while Kitty Kelley performs nude for tips with a pole. Then you will both be forced to travel across country in the back seat of a Geo Metro with Britney's mom driving and both Simpson girls in the front seat.

Richard Leiby: Road trip! When does the Geo-full-o-babes leave Clifton, Va.?

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Richard Leiby: CORRECTION. PLEASE AMEND. PLAME SIGHTING AT DOWD'S NOT CONFIRMED RPT NOT CONFIRMED.

Anne was confused. She's been to too many book parties this week. She definitely saw Joe Wilson but that's all she can recall. Like I said, the girl needs "seasoning."

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Norfolk, Va.: Quid - Re: Cat Islam, "The First Cut is the Deepest" is a fine tune. Although I (weirdly) prefer Rod Stewart's cover of the latter, and how many things can we say that about?

washingtonpost.com: No, no, the best version is Studio One's track with Norma Fraser on vocals.

Richard Leiby: I'm staying out of this one. Just please, for love of merciful Lord, nobody start singing "Tonight's the Night" by Rod Stewart. Or even thinking about it. NOW IT'S IN MY HEAD -- OH GOD HELP ME.

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Mosque for the Tillerman: In defense of the Catman Dude, Ayatollah Catmanny, Dr. yo'self Stevens, his lightweight tunes are at least equal to the lame stuff put out by Sir Elton Juan, don't you think? I mean
"my gift is my song, and this one's for you,
reads somewhere between "roses are red, violets are blue, and a Budweiser commercial!

Give him a break!
Stevens es Akbar!

Richard Leiby: Speaking of Sir Elton, this just in: He believes photographers are "vile pigs." So do I, of course.

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Richard Leiby: TAIPEI, Taiwan (AP) — Elton John warmed up his vocal cords for a concert in Taiwan by telling photographers they were a bunch of "rude, vile pigs."

The media ambushed the rock star after he arrived by private plane Thursday shortly after midnight at Taipei's Chiang Kai-shek International Airport. John was angry that police allegedly didn't properly restrain the pack and protect him "from the ensuing chaos," said a statement issued by the 57-year-old singer.

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Arlington, Va.: You seem to mention "drinking" pretty often in these chats. Should we be worried?

Richard Leiby: Yes, you should be worried. But drinking is part of my job, as I've mentioned many times. I go easy, though. Last night I had just one glass of red wine at a big book party held by a very important social hostess with deep ties to the Republicans. We're you back there on the deck? EVERYBODY was.

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Bennifer Part Deux: Ben and Jen (Garner that is) were in town on Tuesday for some charity thing or another! Any word on whether the couple is actually a couple? Any good gossip at all from there?

Richard Leiby: Sadly, no. They WERE in town Tuesday, but the PR people shut us out entirely. Can't imagine why.

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washingtonpost.com: Full Story: Elton John Calls Photographers 'Rude, Vile Pigs', (Reuters, Sept. 23)

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Atlanta, Ga.: Do people really care all that much about Britney Spears' marriage or non-marriage? I mean, really, who cares? Or, really, why do they care...?

Okay, you're the "gossip" columnist, but don't you have more interesting things to talk about? And, are people's lives so horrible that this is all they care about -- there's a war going on and a prez election coming up. And people's dresses from the Emmys to make fun of.

Richard Leiby: No, people REALLY care about Ben-Gar. Unfortunately, Jennifer Garner is notoriously private, which just makes sense if you are going to make movies, date Ben Affleck and so forth.

Gossip, by the way, has been around for ages. People want to know what happens in the castle. We lowly scribes attempt to supply info and entertainment.

Speaking of which, I met an actual princess (HRH Princess Michael of Kent) last week. Doesn't that impress you?

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Washington, D.C.: Rich, I just want ot say I saw you in a recent documentary and you looked marvelous. Please tell me why you are not featuring some sort an analysis of "Crossing the Rubicon," the new book by Peak Oil and CIA info expert Michael Ruppert, inthe Style section? I know Reliable Source is mostly party gossip, but you have managed to get in tidbits of truth without going to a party. SOME people still do read books... this is one everyone who wants the truth needs to read

Richard Leiby: Nice book-plug-preceeded-by-flattery play! Yes, I had a role in "Bush's Brain," the recent documentary. As for books, I have no time to read them anymore, but I highly recommend Michael Ruppert's "Crossing the Rubicon," because anybody who loves me on the big screen deserves my complete support, as well as psychiatric intervention.

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Washington, D.C.: Rich... have you made any appearances in any other documentaries that we may have missed?

Richard Leiby: Not yet. But I screen-tested this weekend for a role in "Grumpy Old Men," a series demo being shot by Jeff Krulik -- who made "Heavy Metal Parking Lot," among other great films.

The series may or may not get made, but Krulik interviewed me for nearly an hour about things I hate. It was great fun.

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Something only a gossip colunist would say:: "a very important social hostess"

That's an oxymoron.

But of course I'm DYING to know who was on her big Republican deck.

Richard Leiby: Juleanna Glover-Weiss. She's pretty famous. Been writ-up in the New York Times as the next Pearl Mesta.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: Did you notice if the red wine at the GOP function was French or not? Perhaps you could start checking that out, as to whether or not Republicans are foregoing French wines.

Richard Leiby: It was good wine...but I can't say for sure where it was from. Because last night I drank from a glass, not straight from the bottle as I normally do.

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Bad Music no fly list (cont'd): John Tesh
Kenny G.
probably Enya
Ricky Martin
anyone named anything remotely similar to "Iglesias"
the Hansons
Micheal Jackson (all versions)
Brittany
certain iterations of Madonna
sorry, but Lyle Lovett

Richard Leiby: The key here is that the musicians have to be foreigners. Enya qualifies. Inglesias also.

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Chantilly, Va.: Obviously, the Bush admin is well known for its efforts to restrain and manipulate the press corps, limiting press conferences, doling out access only to perceived good boys and girls.

What sort of an impact does this have on a gossip columnist such as yourself? Does it have the effect of starving or, rather, feeding the rumor mill?

Richard Leiby: I have NEVER been in a press gaggle. I have no interest in listening to bland political stump speeches with a bunch of other bored, cynical hacks. I get my news at parties, on decks, and on street corners and hotel bars, by night. Tonight, for example, I'm going to see Zell Miller at the Mayflower hotel. Seriously.

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Washington, D.C.: As a gossip columnist, do you actually get invited to various soirees in this area, or do you crash them all? I can't imagine CHOOSING to invite a gossip columnist.

Long live quidnunc!

Richard Leiby: Many people do, in fact, invite me to lots of events in hopes that I'll mention some of the "names" who turned out. It's a risk, but they want publicity and figure I'm pretty much a whore. Give me some booze and I'll keep ya happy. At least we understand the terms of the transaction. Unlike Dan Rather, I admit to my mistakes and failures right up front.

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Britney Spears: Get us the scoop: Britney once was telling the story about how a teacher spanked her for talking too much. What grade was this (we're all hoping it was senior year high school) and obviously he didn't spank her hard enough. Will she ever stop talking?

Richard Leiby: I don't know anything about spanking Britney. Or spanking the monkey, for that matter.

We endeavor to keep this chat clean. Thank you.

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Shocking!: I can't believe that Post Higher Ups decided Hax was more worthy of Friday lunchtime than you! Outrage!

I'm nearing 30, so Hax's advice carries less and less weight with me each passing day. For some reason, however, you seem to be getting funnier. Must be the bottle of whiskey in my desk.

Leiby 4 Eva!

Richard Leiby: Thanks. And, unlike Dan Rather, I'm going to depart today on a high note. You guys are great, as usual. Thanks for the anti-terrorist fun and frolic.

Courage.

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