Family Travel Fun: Not an Oxymoron. Really.

3. Set Rules

Giving kids choices within whatever parameters you've set invests them in the experience, says Gross. But those pre-trip planning meetings are a good time to discuss not only what you'll be doing but what you won't be doing. Anticipate the things that could drive you nuts -- wet towels thrown into the luggage, constant whining about buying things -- and agree upfront how things will go.

Sometimes, you can avoid problems by anticipating them. For example, if a spending allowance is decided ahead of time, "parents aren't put in the position of having to answer demands continually," says Kohl.

4. Chill

Just because you've saved all year for something, and the anticipation of it kept you going through dreary days, don't expect it to be perfect. Unrealistic expectations are deal-killers, experts agree. That problem goes hand-in-hand with overscheduling.

Schedule some down time, says Phillips of the National Tour Association, and be flexible enough to add it as you go, if circumstances suggest it.

And when things go wrong, adapt. In fact, problems are opportunities for important life lessons, says Doug Kennedy, a professor and coordinator of the Department of Recreation and Leisure Studies at Virginia Wesleyan College, and the father of two young children.

"Some of the best travel experiences we've had came when things didn't go right," he says. "It teaches children to be spontaneous, to overcome adversity, to be ready for the surprises life brings."

A missed plane connection, for example, left him and his family in a Philadelphia airport overnight with only the clothes on their backs.

They ended up, he says, having one of the best times of their lives.