Teacher Says Book Special

Teacher Says: 30 Foolproof Ways to Help Kids Thrive in School

Evelyn Vuko (washingtonpost.com)

Iron out glitches in the new school year with "Teacher Says: 30 Foolproof Ways to Help Kids Thrive in School." Get unique solutions for forming alliances with new teachers, homework coaching, test-taking, reading, writing, spelling and for handling problems with attention, discipline, motivation, sensory and motor dysfunctions and in making and keeping friends. Education columnist and author Evelyn Vuko discusses her new book inspired by eight years of Teacher Says columns in the Washington Post.

Join Vuko online Tuesday, Aug. 3, at 2 p.m. ET to discuss her book.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Evelyn Vuko: Hello out there and welcome! I'm happy to be here celebrating the publication today of my book and to help your kids make a smooth transition into the new school year. Let's get moving...

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Washington, D.C.:
Congratulations on your book! Will you be doing a traveling book tour to promote it?

Evelyn Vuko: Thanks for you good wishes. Since I'm not Bill Clinton (I'm much shorter) I won't be doing a traveling tour...however, I do have some book-related action coming soon. Two book signings: Sunday, August 8th at 4:30 at the Barnes & Noble at the Montrose Crossing Shopping Center in Rockville; and one on Thursday, November 4th, at 7:30 at the Friendship Heights Community Center in Chevy Chase. Please come and bring your kids! You can also find Teacher Says excerpts in the September editions of three magazines: Redbook, Working Woman and Child Magazine. I've also had the recent pleasure of doing a live interview on Jerry Phillip's WTNT radio show here in Washington and will do two more radio interviews for NPR-affiliated parent talk shows airing in October. Not bad for a short person...

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Washington, D.C.: Hello,
Recently, my 9-year old was diagnosed by his school counselor as having sensory integration problems. I am not sure what that means. She explained that he talks too loud and bumps into things and other students. Can you elaborate? Is there a cure? I would like to avoid feeding him drugs.
TT

Evelyn Vuko: First of all, a school counselor cannot diagnose a sensory integration problem so take what he/she told you with a grain of a salt. A sensory integration or sensory processing dysfunction is one in which a person has trouble modulating the input they get from their five basic senses. But sensory input also comes from critical functioning skills like balance and movement, coordination, muscle tone, attention and behavior. So if you son can't modulate his voice or his movements he MIGHT have some sensory issues. He might also have vision or hearing problems which you should investigate. If they both prove normal and you want to pursue sensory processing, consult with an occupational therapist trained in sensory integration techniques. For background information, check out the Ayres clinic (Jean Ayres pioneered sensory integration) at www.sensoryint.com or read Carol Kranowitz' excellent book, The Out-of-Sync Child (Penguin/Putnam). Good luck and keep me posted if I can be of further help.

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Boynton Beach, Fla. : Evelyn, hello! I am a teacher of the gifted. Our students are grouped with their peers all day every day. We call it a full-time gifted education program. However, all of them vary in their giftedness... some are borderline gifted and others are profoundly gifted. There are times that I feel completely inadequate in meeting the needs of our highest students, esp. when a teacher must focus so much on getting them to pass the state tests. How do you recommmend that we approach the program for the highly gifted within our classes? Thanks!

Evelyn Vuko: Hello, Boynton Beach. I experienced similar problems when I was teaching a 4,5,6 combination class in which a fair number of students of varied ages were exceptionally gifted. What I did was form small "study groups" which met daily, much like they do at the college level. After polling this group (6-7 kids), we discovered they all had an interest in acting in a play. I went straight for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, in the original, not a translation. We not only delved into the language of the period, but the social mores, daily life, religious beliefs and culture. Kids who had a particular area of interest could pursue it and report back. Eventually we put on a short version of the play for the rest of the class. Last but not least, they loved being called a "study group." Good luck and happy new school year.

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Arlington, Va.: I am VERY excited about this book! I have always felt your advice to be commonsensical and wise - always spot-on in most situations.

Just as a preview, what is your number one foolproof way to help children succeed in school?

(I just ordered a copy off Amazon!)

Evelyn Vuko: Hello, Arlington and thanks for you excellent words which just made my day. My number one foolproof way? Teach kids how to calm themselves. Sounds silly, no? But I believe it's the single most important thing we adults can do for kids. They need to learn how to control their emotions, their energies, their muscles, the very way they breathe so that they can perceive clearly and function efficiently through the onslaught of emotional, social, psychological and academic input they are flooded with in school every single day. And it's not very hard to find ways to do this...take them to yoga or martial arts classes; they can even learn tai chi or chi gong, a standing form, peaceful form of martial arts that I'm crazy about because it's simple and easy to learn. Even showing them to take deep breaths whenever they're facing huge waves of input will help them realize they can use their breath and their body to soothe and calm their minds. When they are calm all their senses are in top form and ready to make smart moves. Can you imagine how much farther ahead we would all be if we'd learned that lesson back when we were 7? Go for it.

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Bowie, Md.: My pre-teen daughter is about to start middle school and I've noticed as she gets older she seems less and less interested in school. She maintained her high grades and made the honor roll last year but I had to push her a lot harder than in the past. How can I get the younger version of my daughter back and get her to focus more on her school work and less on the social aspects of school (talking and hanging out with other pre-teen girls)? Thanks for any advice you can give!

Evelyn Vuko: Hello, Bowie: You can't get the younger version back. Hormones are colliding with a major school transition and everything is going to move faster than the speed of light for your daughter. What you need to do is focus on the new version by putting on your most comfortable shoes and practicing the shuffle because you'll be doing a lot of it as she moves through this challenging period of time. Continue to monitor her decisions, activites and academic responsiblities, but don't push. Establish firm boundaries instead; set up a study area where you can routinely walk by and check up. Set study hours, telephone hours, instant messaging and email rules. Middle schoolers need boundaries as much as two-year-olds so smile and set them and wear comfortable shoes. Good luck.

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Rockville, Md.: My 4 1/2 year old son is in daycare fulltime now. He has been in daycare since he was 2 years old, but only started going full time about 1 year ago. I like the daycare. They take good care of the kids, have structured and age appropriate activities and toys, and my son seems quite happy and well-adjusted. He loves to play with his friends, paint and do crafts, play with leggos, trains and games that involve building things. He loves to listen to stories and look at the pictures in books. He knows his alphabet and numbers. He can write his name and all the letters and numbers although his handwriting is still a bit rough. He understands that the letters represent sounds and knows some of the sounds they make. If you tell him a simple word, like park, he can tell you the first letter is "p". Here is my question. How important is it to put him in a more academic environment the year before he starts kindergarten. The daycare does not really focus on learning the alphabet, phonics, etc. I work with him on those things at home. I think he is ready to learn to read, but don't want to transfer him out of the daycare because he seems to happy and well-adjusted there. Does it make sense to keep him there for another year even though he seems ready for a more challenging academic environment? He likes to "do homework" with me at home, but also seems to be quite happy just playing with his friends at daycare.

Evelyn Vuko: I hesitate telling you to move him if he's happy and well-adjusted. Therefore, I'd suggest two things: continue to supplement his academic program at home (my book will help you with ideas and resources)or investigate getting him a private tutor, someone who will help him make the transition into reading. You should also visit, now, the kindergarten he'll be attending and get a feel for the program and the abilities of the students. This will give you a better idea of what to focus on with him in the coming year.

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Overland Park, Kan.: Help!; I have an incoming 6th grader, heading into a new middle school. He's bright but I have to PUSH on everything. I try contracts, or schedules ("do this first then game boy"). He gets so distracted. And when he sits down, it's still pulling teeth. Just one summer book report is taking forever (it's afternoon and he said he'd do it when the buzzer went off but that was an hour ago). Teachers say he's bright but erratic-not diligent on task. How can I help him with this important transition without losing my patience? Thanks.

Evelyn Vuko: This is the hardest transition kids have to make in school because they are also being hammered by their hormones. As I said already, put on your shuffling shoes. Everything changes all the time in middle school--the teachers, the classrooms, the academic requirements and you will need to move through it with him until he can do it successfully on his own (around the age of 16 or so). "Moving through it with him" might mean hiring an academic coach (sometimes called a tutor), an experienced objective voice who can mediate between you when the emotional taffy pull takes over (which it will often in middle school). "Moving through it with him" also means getting him ready to handle the massive amount of distractions by doing trial runs in the next few weeks...take him to county fairs, craft shows, boat shows, anyplace where there are millions of things going on at one time. Then help him be the man in charge of the outing...get a map and grab a cold drink and focus your explorations first. Make decisions about what he/you wants to see, omit, investigate fully. Encourage him to chat with the vendors to give him a feel for varying styles of conveying information. The more comfortable he becomes in high-energy, kaleidoscopic situations now, the better he will will function when he gets to middle school. Get moving, and don't forget those shoes...

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Wallingford, Conn.: Evelyn,

What sort of different advice would you give a parent whose child is starting school in the fall, versus those starting school say 20 years ago?

How about the same question regarding a new teacher starting a career in the classroom in 2004 versus one starting in 1984?

Thanks!

Evelyn Vuko: Get technical...parents and teachers. The more you know about using computers, the Internet, software programs, cell phones, , IPODs, Palm Pilots, web and digital cameras, online banking, conferencing, planning, reporting, the faster and more efficiently you will be able to keep up with the massive flow of information coming at us and our kids these days. 20 years ago, when desk-top computers were big as your desk and functioned like your grandmother's sewing machine, this was a dream, today it's in your face. So, get technical, learn how to calm yourself and teach your kids, and most importantly, wear comfortable shoes.

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Arlington, Va.: My soon-to-be 5th-grade son has recently become MUCH more interested in computer and vidio games. We have limits at home; however, it appears as if none of his friends' families do, and that is causing some concern at sleep-overs, etc. When my son is host, I insist that the boys have "analog time" with NO electronics (which, although my son insists is HIGHLY embarassing, seems successful). I know that at other homes, it is a free-for-all video game fest. I've talked with the other parents, and we have as a group come up with some limits, but they don't seem to stick. Should I just worry about the rules in our house, and let the rest go, or is there something else we can do?

Evelyn Vuko: Set the rules in your house and stick to them and I'm sure your successful results will eventually cause your methods to be copied by other parents. Kids and parents all need fine examples and you are one of them. Way to go.

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Stupid Question: I don't get the shuffling in the shoes thing. What do you mean?

Evelyn Vuko: Shuffling shoes means put yourself in a position to make quick moves because that is what your kids will be doing particularly in middle school. Changes in the way they perceive things, analyze things; their behavior, certainly their looks; their friendships, their attitude about teachers and learning will shift and change, retreat, regroup and reform daily. You need to be flexible, adaptable and ready for it and for that you will need comfortable shoes...

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Evelyn Vuko: Okay, kids, school is out for today. Thanks for participating and for your supportive words about Teacher Says: 30 Foolproof Ways to Help Kids Thrive in School. Join me again on August 17th about how to let go and hold on to your college kids.

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