Aged former starlet Faye Dunaway, who starred in "Network," Paddy Chayefsky's prescient satire of trash TV, has signed on to be the aged actress-icon-judge on WB's new reality series, "Starlet." The show is the creation of Mike Fleiss, who brought you the Darva Conger-Rick Rockwell wedding on "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?," "The Bachelor" and "Are You Hot: The Search for America's Sexiest People," made infamous by Lorenzo Lamas and his cellulite-seeking laser pointer.
The irony/horror of this was not lost on a couple of TV critics, who asked Dunaway, 64, to comment.
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"We have to look at it with a much more faceted perception," she said.
I have no idea what that means.
"Paddy Chayefsky did what any great artist does," Dunaway continued. "They predict reality, and then, suddenly you think, 'Oh my God, it's all come true.' But that's this kind of, I won't call it a monster, but it is some kind of, you know, being that we have to really use properly and I don't know that we always do it perfectly. But you know, this whole, this eye, this television medium, it's something that's incredibly powerful and I think that's what Paddy was getting at."
There was more. Dunaway likened reality TV to film noir -- ahead of its time and getting no respect.
"I know you're probably going to give me a bad laugh now on this, but I wonder, I wonder what the film noir, when film noir just started, Sam Fuller, and they all started in Cecil B. De Mille territory, you know, I wonder," she said. Extra points if you can figure that out.
"The point is," Dunaway continued, to the chagrin of several critics who were pretty much at the end of their ropes after two weeks listening to nonstop blather while stuck at the Universal Hilton Hotel.
(Note to self: Suggest to Fox execs that for the next edition of "The Simple Life" they force Paris Hilton to shack up in this dive for two weeks and listen to network suits brag about their new lineups.) "Starlet" involves 10 wannabe actresses who fight to win a management deal and a one-time guest gig on WB's teen angst drama, "One Tree Hill." Dunaway, who appeared at the penultimate day of Winter TV Press Tour 2005 to discuss "Starlet," was seated next to Jamie Kennedy, one of the show's executive producers. While Dunaway explained that she was doing this to pass along her wisdom to future generations, Kennedy wanted to make sure critics were aware that the 10 contestants are "banging."
By which, of course, he meant they were very hot. The judges, on the other hand, are "redic," Kennedy said.
Chayefsky rolled over in his grave.
And yet, Dunaway's appearance on the same panel as Kennedy and Fleiss was not, believe it or not, the most cringe-inducing moment of WB's day at Winter TV Press Tour 2005.
That distinction goes, hands down, to Amy Sherman-Palladino, the extremely needy creator of "The Gilmore Girls." Sherman-Palladino is one of those people who like to make sure all eyes are on her, and so says outrageous things and dresses in hideous hats and loud outfits -- today it was a black-and-white polka-dot strapless sundress with a sort of veil at the bottom, a little black cardigan, a sort of Wicked Witch of the West hat and red pumps.
During a Q&A session promoting the upcoming 100th episode of "The Gilmore Girls," she was asked her thoughts on the impact "American Idol" has had on her show's ratings.
" 'American Idol,' " she replied "is the like Nazis marching through Poland. You gotta let them go and get out of the way."
See what we mean?
