Finally the mystery is solved: It turns out that Michael Moore and Tom Daschle have never hugged!
The senator faced a minor furor in his home state of South Dakota after Time magazine quoted Moore as saying Daschle "gave me a hug" after the Washington premiere of "Fahrenheit 9/11" at the Uptown last month. But Daschle averred he didn't even meet the rotund filmmaker that night.
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Was Moore fabricating? No, he was just confused.
The hugger turns out to be Cam Cowan, a D.C. securities lawyer -- who does bear a resemblance to the Senate minority leader and has been mistaken for him before. Moore embraced him after the screening, Cowan tells us. "I extended my hand to shake his hand and he said a few words to me, including 'Thanks for being a good sport.' " (In the Time interview, Moore recalled telling "Daschle" that.)
"I was the wrong man in the wrong place, I guess," Cowan said.
To help lobbyists and voters avoid future hugging mishaps while in Washington, we herewith present a detailed comparison of both men's identifying features.
Pardon My French: The Young Teresa
It wasn't quite their style of squealing funk-punk music, but an older couple from New York, Toni and James Goodale, swayed to the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Creative Coalition's bash last week at the Democratic National Convention in Boston. "I've raised a lot of money for the Democrats," Toni told us. "There has to be some payback for the [expletive] you have to put up with." Then she realized: "Wait, I guess you can't print [expletive]."
Soon conversation turned to her old friend Teresa Heinz Kerry. "Teresa and I roomed next to each other in a pensione in Geneva in 1962," Toni Goodale said. "I was on the Smith College junior year abroad program." Teresa, she recalled, was working as a translator at the United Nations. "I was dating a communist and she was dating Johnny Heinz."
But they shared a certain outspokenness. Also, swearing.
"She learned swearing from you!" claimed her husband, former counsel for the New York Times.
"No, I learned it from him!" Toni rejoined, indicating hubby. "Marry a newspaper guy and you become a sewer-mouth."
Straightening Out a Beautiful Case of Mistaken Identity
And, in another case of mistaken identity, we totally goofed on a celebrity sighting at a Creative Coalition party Wednesday during the Democratic National Convention. We spotted a very lovely woman in the company of the impossibly handsome San Francisco mayor, Gavin Newsom. Perturbed at being blocked from a VIP area, the woman said, "Don't you know who I am?" while invoking the name Newsom.
But it was not Newsom's brunette wife, Court TV co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom, who was in New York, far from the event. Said a Court TV rep: "Kimberly would never do that. She's not like that."