Ask Tom

Valet Fender-Benders

In a city loaded with diverse restaurants, from New American chic and upscale Italian to sandwich shops and burritos on the run, finding the best places to eat can be a real puzzle. Where's the best restaurant for a first date or an anniversary? Father's Day? What's the best burger joint? Who has the best service?

Ask Tom. Tom Sietsema, The Washington Post's food critic, is on hand Wednesdays at 11 a.m. ET to answer your questions, listen to your suggestions and even entertain your complaints about Washington dining. Sietsema, a veteran food writer, has sampled the wares and worked as a critic in Washington, Seattle, San Francisco and Milwaukee, and can talk restaurants with the best of 'em. Tom's Sunday magazine reviews, as well as his "Ask Tom" column, are available early on the Web.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Washington DC: Tom, I find it very very disgusting the very same people that handle bringing out the food, taking away my plates, handling the cash, also set the tables. Let me be more specific, people that set the table by grabbing the forks, knives, spoons from the END YOU EAT WITH. I know they haven't washed their hands in between taking my money and setting up the next table. Just makes me wanna....you get the idea.

Tom Sietsema: We'll start the day with a vent and move on from there!

Welcome back, everyone. It looks like this is going to be another lively hour today.

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Arlington, VA: Did any restaurants ever respond re: rejecting wine from last week?

Tom Sietsema: No, which surprised me.

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Philadelphia, PA: Hi Tom,

I'm hoping you can help me with what I think is a fun question. To celebrate a rather important event, my parents have offered to treat me to dinner anywhere on the East Coast!; I'm thrilled, but also overwhelmed. We are adventurous eaters and love all kinds of ethnic foods. None of us eat meat, but we love seafood and I could eat sushi everyday. any suggestions from you or the chatters? Thanks for doing these discussions- I've had some good meals in DC and elsewhere thanks to your advice.

Cheers!;

Tom Sietsema: What a fun question to answer!

What about Le Bernardin in New York, one of the finest seafood restaurants in the country? Or the $500-a-head sushi extravaganza at the new Masa, also in Manhattan?

In Boston, my choice would be Clio. In Miami, it would be Azul. In Baltimore, it would be Charleston. And in Charleston it would be Charleston Grill.

Here in DC, I'd probably head to Citronelle, Maestro or the Inn at Easton.

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Baseball bound in DC: Hi Tom. I'm sure that I'm the gazillionth person to ask but where do you recommend for a pre-game dinner -- or should we chance a dog and a beer at RFK?

washingtonpost.com: Eve Zibart on baseball eats.

Tom Sietsema: Dig in!

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Arlington, VA: Love your chats, Tom. Business trip to Ottawa in mid-May -- Sunday night through Wednesday. Will be staying downtown near the ByWard Market and Rideau Center. Suggestions for moderate dining options (the closer, the better)? Any cuisine is fine. Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: Has anyone in the crowd been to Ottawa recently?

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Un-comped in Maryland: Mr. Sietsema:

I recently took the afternoon off to have some dental work done (bear with me, here). I left work in the city, drove out to my dentist in the 'burbs, and was greeted like this: "Oh, I guess that we didn't call you. The specialist who you were going to see didn't show up today."

We've all waited forever in the doctor's office, waited for the repair person, and gotten crummy service in a variety of service areas. So why is it that a restaurant is the only place where consumers expect something for free in return?

Personally, I think that dentist owes me something.

Tom Sietsema: Why do people expect compensation in restaurants? One reason might be that the industry tends to be so generous to begin with. I'm thinking of all those free desserts and glasses of wine that get sent out to people celebrating special occasions, etc. Those and other gracious freebies add up!

Odd thought for the day: Chefs are constantly hit up to donate dinners for different charities but I've never heard of say, a lawyer or a doctor or a dentist being asked to give a hour-long consultation, an operation or a cleaning, respectively. Why is that?

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Rockville, MD: Hi Tom!;
I'm meeting a friend for dinner on Saturday to celebrate her engagement. It'll just be the two of us. Do you know of any fun and girly place the two of us 28 year olds can go in Rockville where we can squeal and giggle (maybe not literally, but you get the idea). Any cuisine works.

Thanks so much!;

Tom Sietsema: (And readers worry that CHILDREN are apt to make noise!)

"Fun and girly," eh? What about Mykonos Grill -- on the patio? Or Lebanese Taverna?

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Birthday Girl: Hi Tom!;

Only YOU can help me!; I'm going to Chicago next month for my birthday and I need a restaurant suggestion. My choices are narrowed down to Ambria, Everest, and Tru. I didn't include Charlie Trotter's because I've heard that it is overrated. If you could go to any of those for your birthday, which one would you pick? Thank you so much for helping!;

The Birthday Girl

Tom Sietsema: Everest! It's a room with a (splendid) view and fine French cooking to match.

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Arlington, Virginia: I have an ethical question that I have been
pondering. I went to 2941 on a recent Saturday
night and had a very nice dinner. I was
celebrating a friend's birthday. The next day I
noticed that my bumper had a scrape on the front
left bumper. I was about 80-90% sure that the
valet parking at 2941 had caused the damaged.
But how to prove it? You can't. So I e-mailed the
restaurant, just to say that if someone called and
said they too had a scrape on their car and was
now wearing my paint color -- they were telling
the truth. In the restaurant's defense, they e-
mailed me back and asked that I call them. This I
did, but was probably even more put off by the
phone call then if they had ignored my e-mail. I
got the feeling they were accusing me of doing
the damage myself, which I know I did not do. But
it could have happen on my street after I got home
-- who knows? The owner waited on us and I did
have one cocktail and then shared a bottle of
wine -- but over an almost three hour meal that
went from appetizers to desserts. I asked if I ever
came back if I could park my own car and got a
fairly insulting answer that he would come park it
for me.
Well, a very short question made long -- if you
think valet parking has damaged your car -- what
do you think a restaurant's response should be?

Tom Sietsema: Wow, another tricky question. I think it's smart that you called the restaurant (if scrapes are happening to YOUR car, they might be happening to others), but I also think you need more evidence than you have that it was the fault of the valet service.

Boo! Hiss!, however, to the restaurant's reply to your question about parking your car yourself.

I'm curious if any restaurateurs or diners in similar situations have handled the problem?

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Fairfax, VA: I know you get a lot of questions from vegetarians so I was wondering if you have ever eaten at Sunflower here in the boonies of Fairfax. It's a vegetarian asian restaurant, although you would never know that from the outside or the decor (it looks like a a kitschy country place for some reason). The menu is huge, complete with a glossary, and the food is excellent. It's definitely not a night on the town place but even my carnivore friends like to grab a quick meal there.

Tom Sietsema: "Excellent" might be a stretch, but I agree: the food is good, the setting is cozy.

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Arlington, VA: Mr. Sietsema:

What's your policy on good restaurants that run into trouble with the health department (i.e., temporary closings)? Do you go back again? A favorite, and popular, place of downtown (that shall remain nameless) was recently closed for a few days, and I'm loathe to go back.

Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: Restaurants close temporarily for all sorts of reasons. It could be something minor. I'm inclined to go back (actually, if it's a major restaurant, I HAVE to go back).

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Not a Publicist: Have been to Kolumbia a couple of times recently and was favorably impressed. Of course, I have always enjoyed Jamie Stachowski's cooking since he arrived in DC. Any particular reason you haven't reviewed the restaurant yet? I have always wondered how it stays afloat, given the lack of custom in the evenings, and would hate to see it go under. A review from you (which I think would be quite positive) might give it a new lease on life. How about it, Tom?

Tom Sietsema: You might not be a publicist, but you sure sound like someone with a vested interest in the well-being of Kolumbia!

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Baltimore, MD: I liked your review of Pazo here in Baltimore, but it led me to wonder... how do you pick the places to review, especially in places outside of DC and the surrounding suburbs?

Tom Sietsema: Given the passionate reactions from a few vocal readers to my having reviewed a place in Baltimore last week, you'd think I'd taken precious Magazine space to write about a restaurant in Atlanta.

Hello!? Seventy percent of my readers live in the suburbs and Baltimore is less than an hour away from downtown Washington. I've reviewed restaurants that have been further away than that in the past. Plus, Pazo is a real destination, a three-star experience. Readers deserve to know about such places.

As I've said in the past, I like to offer a range of reviews - new places, old places, expensive, cheap, French, Indian, Japanese -- in the Magazine. And I try to write about a Virginia and a Maryland restaurant each month. I take the mix seriously and spend a LOT of time thinking about that mix. If a reader bothers to look at a year's worth of reviews, he or she will see plenty of variety.

End of sermon.

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Washington, DC: Hi Tom!;

I noticed you were inquiring about good BBQ places in the DC area last week. I would highly recommend Rocklands. My husband and I go there all the time...we love it!;

Tom Sietsema: It's been a year since I've visited Rocklands. I love how I can always smell the place from blocks away ...

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washingtonpost.com: Tom on Sunflower

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Silver Spring, MD: Hey Tom - My brother and his wife are coming to visit this
weekend after moving away from DC almost two years
ago. During their 10 years in this area (before moving to
NH), they always knew the cool, new places to go. Now we
want to prove we have usurped their role as purveyors of
trendy cuisine and nightlife. Would like to stay in the city
for a Friday night dinner and drinks. Recommendations?
Please help!; And thanks for your time every week - great
chats!;

Tom Sietsema: How about drinks in the clubby lounge at 21 P followed by dinner at Buck's Fishing & Camping? Or drinks at the oh-so-white Oya followed by dinner at Etrusco, which has a new and very good chef?

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Alexandria VA: Hi Tom, Love your chats. On a recommendation from a friend, my husband and I dined at Pad Thai in Fairfax this weekend. Their take out menu stated they are under new management. We had ginger ice teas, calamari and veggie spring rolls for apps, a red curry and a lard nar main dish, and fried banana/coconut ice cream for dessert. We thought the food awesome, on par with Thai Square.

Have you been and what did you think? I like to check in with your taste buds to make sure mine are on the right track!;

Tom Sietsema: Pad Thai (the restaurant) is news to me. It sounds promising, though, if you're comparing it to the excellent Thai Square. Thanks for the tip.

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Georgetown: East Coast restaurants: Nothing in Philadelphia? Is there nothing worth suggesting? Or, is it (more likely, IMO)typical NYC/DC snobbery?

Tom Sietsema: Not at all! It's just that I haven't dined in Philly in a few years. But I'm remedying that later this month.

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Re: charity: Tom, I have to disagree. Doctors, lawyers, and dentists are asked to donate their time and skills for charitable causes.

Tom Sietsema: Really? Maybe I'm going to the wrong silent auctions.

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re: Un-comped in Maryland: Tom,

You are so right about doctor's, lawyers, etc not donating their services. And it is generally this same group that ask us restaurateurs to donate ours!;

Tom Sietsema: Sounds like you're one to know, a chef or restaurant owner?

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Washington DC: Tom, how could you possibly choose Everest over Tru? Tru is fun, creative, innovative and an overall great experience. Everest has the view of the city but fairly typical French cuisine. I vote overwhelmingly for Tru. Also, if the chatter has time, check out Spring. It's wonderful as well.

Tom Sietsema: Possibly because I had a magical evening at Everest a few years back. Tru is an excellent restaurant, though. I guess it depends on what the chatter wants most: something classic or something novel.

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Washington, D.C.: do you have any recommendations for a light, inexpensive, vegetarian-friendly lunch in Dupont Circle or Georgetown on Saturday? Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: Try Amma Vegetarian Kitchen on M St. in Georgetown. Love the dosas!

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Washington: Tom,

The wine cork is presented to you to show that the wine was stored properly, not for smelling. Look for a nice uniform wetness on the bottom of the cork. A cork that is dry or crumbling may indicated that the wine was not stored correctly and may give you a reason to send the wine back if it tastes a bit off.

Also, last week you indicated that a person may be able to send a bottle back because it wasn't what they expected. I've never heard of anyone successfully sending a wine back for that reason. Certainly, a good waiter will see what he can do, but I don't think it should automatically be expected.

Tom Sietsema: 1) Good point, but I still think smelling and tasting is a better way to evaluate the quality of wine.

2) No, diners shouldn't EXPECT a bottle of wine they don't like to be taken back, simply because they don't care for it. But plenty of restaurants do just that, then resell the stuff by the glass.

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Washington DC: Hi Tom!;
Have you ever eaten in Reykjavik? Any recommendations for affordable - less than $100 for two people - meals there?

I am making plans to eat at Pazo this summer - thanks for the great article!;

Tom Sietsema: Whose been to Iceland recently?

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Valet Parking Issues: Several months ago, I decided to valet my car at Firefly. I was startled to see them pulling my car out of an illegal space half a block a way when it was time to retrieve it.

I sent a very nice email to them asking if this was something I needed to address with the hotel and stating that I simply interested in making them aware of the problem and never received a response.

We've gone back multiple times since then but there is NO way I'm letting them take my car again.

Too bad cause we'd go more if I didn't have to plan ahead to take the subway or risk trying to find street parking in Dupont Circle.

It's the little things folks!;

Tom Sietsema: Yep, it's the little things that matter to most people. (You should see just one day's worth of my email ....)

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Washington, DC, lawyer: We do get hit up for donations. One problem is that the VAST majority of lawyers -- especially in DC -- don't do the kind of work that people will bid on(think of all the regulatory lawyers and lobbyists out there). For those of us who deal with the general public, a one hour consultation is practically useless.

Perhaps a better way is to offer a service such as drafting a will, but many people might find that a bit too morbid to bid on at an auction.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for clarifying the issue. Yes, a "free" dinner is probably more fun than a "free" will drawing.

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Response to the question about restaurant donations: I imagine it's because the restaurant industry cultivates a sense of such hospitality and goodwill, as well it should. At heart, you know it's a business, but there's such a veneer of civility and good times, it's easy to think, "Ah, this waiter is attending to all my needs. Someone is cooking my steak exactly how I like it. And they all seem so happy to do it!; They'd probably do it for free, and certainly they'd do it for free for such a good cause like the Underwater Basketweaving Society!;" The air of bonhomie makes it easy to ask a favor, and perhaps a bit harder for the restaurant to say no graciously.

If you go to the doctor's office, people will likely be courteous and caring, but their goal isn't to make you have the best time and come back again and again.

Tom Sietsema: The worst offenders, I hear, are customers who might visit a restaurant just once a year and then think they're owed something for their patronage.

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Washington, DC: Tom,

I was thinking about going to Galileo, but it seems like there are 3 different restaurants there. What is the difference between them?

Tom Sietsema: The lounge up front serves bargain lunches and affordable, homey dishes at night.

Restaurant in center serves a range of Italian fare, often with a regional focus.

The laboratorio in the rear is a one-of-a-kind tour with the chef cooking just feet in front of you. Plan to spend at least three hours and eat 12 courses there.

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Valet Parking: When Bob Kinkead had a restaurant on L Street, a friend of mine received a notice that she hadn't paid a parking ticket. She looked at the date and noticed it was when she took me out for my birthday and she had only had her car valet parked. She carried the ticket into the restaurant, explained the situation, and the restaurant said they would pay the bill. Of course, they checked that we had been there at the time of the violation. Apparently, valets sometimes park on the street and toss the tickets before returning the car.

Tom Sietsema: Ouch.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi Tom!; Love these chats. I wanted to share a good experience I had at Chef Geoff's on Penn Ave. A group of 6 were there for a special occasion where the restaurant was only offering a multi-course $70 prix fixe menu. Unfortunately, one of my companions was feeling a bit queasy due to her pregnancy. The generous staff allowed her to order an entree (which she ended up taking home) and only charged her $20!; No muss, no fuss. Needless to say, we left a generous tip and have returned to try their regular menu.

Tom Sietsema: THAT'S the spirit!

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Arlington, VA: Tom,

How does one go about developing a more sophisticated palate? I have been trying to educate myself about food- reading reviews and magazines and going out to restaurants as often as possible. still, I feel somewhat lost- especially when I indulge in a more upscale restaurant and leave disappointed. Is it me just not "getting" the food- did I hit the place on an off night? What more can I do? Your reviews are very helpful to me though- Thank you.

Tom Sietsema: Help me here. What exactly disappoints you at upscale restaurants?

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New York, NY: Not to belabor the point, but us lawyers donate our services pro bono all the time. Not at a silent auction, mind you, but where's it really needed

Tom Sietsema: You are absolutely right. My lawyer friends will be happy to see their fine (free) labor acknowledged in this forum.

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Washington, DC: Tom,
I was in Aspen last month and noticed that many of the very fine restaurants had bar menus which were different and cheaper than the regular menus. It was a great way to get a taste for a chef's cooking without breaking the bank. I know Palena has a bar menu here and I think that Galileo does. Which other very nice restaurants in DC offer bar menu's worth trying? Thanks for the great chats.

Tom Sietsema: Let's start a list of bar menus.

From the top: CityZen.

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Columbia, MD: Pazo is a lot closer for a lot of your readers than that overrated, overcharging Inn at Little Washington.

Tom Sietsema: They are two very different restaurants, of course. And I'd argue about the Inn being over-rated, based on the transporting experience I had there last year. It IS expensive, but it's also a multi-course parade of some pretty fabulous food in a jewel box of a dining room.

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Rosslyn, Va.: Settle a debate for me, please. My husband wears baseball caps in restaurants on the grounds that unless it's a really fancy place, hats are OK. I think it's really tacky to wear a baseball cap anywhere except for maybe McDonald's. Who's right?

Tom Sietsema: You are.

Frankly, guys over 25 shouldn't wear baseball caps unless they're mowing the lawn or attending a game. Just my two cents. I'm no Robin Givhan, but I also think it's ridiculous for guys, years out of college, to wear chunky school rings.

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Vienna, VA: Re: handling money and serving food: Have you ever watched the BBC show about Gordon Ramsay? He uses a towel, that he licks, to wipe the plates before sending them out. He uses a spoon to taste the sauces, then stirs them with the same spoon. And he has 3 Michelin stars, so I doubt people are frequently getting sick after going to his restaurants. People can be a little too paranoid about germs.

Tom Sietsema: Licking the towel that goes on the plates?! Yeeeeeewwww.

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I live in Alexandria...: and I occasionally eat in Baltimore. In fact I occasionally go to Baltimore to eat in a specific restaurant. So, thanks for occasionally including Baltimore.

Tom Sietsema: You are ever so welcome.

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Springfield, VA: I always avoid valet parking and have avoided restaurants that have no other option. Part of it is that my car has a very tricky clutch, but I think the main reason is that a colleague and his girlfriend went to a restaurant in Virginia (I won't name it, since I was not involved in the incident) and the valet forgot to set the parking brake on their car, which proceeded to roll down a hill into a tree.

Tom Sietsema: Oh no!

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Washington, DC: Hi Tom. I dined at Buck's Fishing and Camping last week, after throwing the idea around for a while and reading your review. The staff was great - attentive, helpful, and friendly. The food was good. But, I was surprised at how little was on the menu. Had the spring salad to start, which was just ok. I could make it at home, with spinach and dressing. The fish was good, but I was still hungry!;

I was also surprised there weren't any poultry dishes out of the 6. And...that they don't serve iced tea.

You gave it 3 out of 4 stars, so I thought I'd ask...what did you love about it so much that got it such a rating? It was kind of pricey, too. Just wondering.

Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: I loved that it looked so different from so many restaurants, in a warm and personal way. And I think Carol Greenwood is a first-rate cook, despite her occasional personality quirks. Few chefs can best her steak, her mussels or her homey desserts, in my opinion. They might sound simple, but she buys really good ingredients and treats 'em with respect. Plus, the wine list is a treasure.

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Bar menu: Kinkeads has a delicious lobster roll sandwich on their bar menu- you can even order it between lunch and dinner. Fantastic!;

Tom Sietsema: I'm ALL over that lobster roll.

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Columbia, MD: Jeez, I don't understand the anti-Baltimore sentiments. And I've lived in Columbia all my life and learned to read by reading the post.

And my husband works in DC, and I work in B'more. The cities are so darn close together than we all really should enjoy the dining gems in each. Life's too short to ignore good food.

Tom Sietsema: No argument from me there!

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Arlington, Va.: Hi Tom, Submitting early because I'd really like my question to be answered (3rd time I'm trying:) Do you recommend Iron gate restaurant for a nice romantic dinner with my s.o.? Have heard a lot about the terrace but not sure about the food/price. If not, could you recommend another restaurant with a similar romantic atmosphere and veggie options? Thanks so much and love the chats!

Tom Sietsema: I last dined at the Iron Gate three years ago, but I have no reason to think the middling food has improved there. Try instead the terrace at the Oval Room, the outdoor balcony at Sea Catch or the rooftop at Perry's for reliable cooking and al fresco seating.

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Downtown Washington, D.C.: We're excited about our upcoming dinner at Maestro. The hostess asked if we want a table by the open kitchen or a quieter space. Any recommendations?

Tom Sietsema: If you've never been, you want to sit near the stage set of a kitchen. It's one of the best shows around.

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Bar Menus: Citronelle!;

Tom Sietsema: But of course! I just wish that teeny lounge were a little prettier.

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Del Ray, Alexandria: Hi Tom. Two questions for you. First, for not-super big deal dinner, Corduroy or Firefly? Next, is the $$$ for the tasting room at Restaurant Eve worth it, compared to the Bistro. Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: 1) Right this minute, I'd pick Firefly over Corduroy because I like the atmosphere better at the former.

2) Yes! Si! Oui!

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Fairfax, VA: Tom - I recently moved from DC to Fairfax. I have some friends coming to see my new place this weekend, can you recommend any good restaurants in Fairfax? Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: I like Artie's and Sakoontra for American and Thai food, respectively, and Le Tire Bouchon for French cooking and nice digs.

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Alexandria, VA: Okay Tom, here's one I bet you get often.
My family is coming to town for Mother's
Day weekend. (You can see where this is
going). I'm having a hard time finding out
which restaurants are serving a special
brunch for the occasion. Any ideas? I'm
thinking G'town, or a place w/ a great view
of the city. Thanks!;!;

Tom Sietsema: You better book fast! I'd start with Melrose in the Park Hyatt, which has the bonus of a lovely outdoor patio.

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Arlington, Va.: A group of us recently went out to a Thai restaurant in Arlington County and the waitress could barely speak English, and thus she could barely understand our orders, barely understood our questions, barely understood several requests for service, and on top of that she hovered around the table and kept wanting to take things away long before they should have been taken away.

How can you send a server out whose language proficiency is so poor that the orders can't even be given without some confusion? That's not good.

Tom Sietsema: No it's not. This is just a guess, but I bet she's related to the owner somehow (and provides cheap labor).

I've encountered the same problem many times. It baffles me how restaurateurs can send out servers who can't communicate with diners.

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Alexandria, VA: Hi Tom- Mom is already looking forward to Mother's Day
brunch, her favorite part of the day with the family. I need
more ideas!; Past brunches include: Bistro Bis, Cashion's,
Georgia Brown's (I know not your favorite). Looking for a
place with a similar brunch and nice atmosphere to enjoy
the day. DC preferred, but we are open to outside the city
if there is a great place to try. We always follow your
advice, so look forward to it!; Thank you!;

Tom Sietsema: What about Charlie Palmer Steak, Bombay Club, 2941 or Cafe Atlantico for something deliciously different?

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U Street Corridor: I'm heading to H.R. 57 to listen to jazz this weekend and am looking for a couple of good suggestions for places to eat before hand. The club is located on 14th near P, so I'm guessing that U Street is my best bet for food. Any thoughts besides Cafe St. Ex? Thanks, Tom!;

Tom Sietsema: I'd add to your options Rice on 14th between Q and R streets and Islander Caribbean at 12th and U streets.

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Uncorking the mystery: Hello Tom,
Caterina Sommelier at Restaurant 2941, responding back to your recent inquiry.
"somigliere" uncorking the amazing mystery.
Why smell the cork, it smells like cork? I have seen and worked with many great sommeliers that smell the cork to make sure that there are no off odors and then place it on a dish for the guest to check it, if they wish but its not always necessary and does not always apply. It depends on the style and technique used by the guest or the sommelier. To be accurate, there is no reason to smell the cork, the cork should be looked at and squeezed for signs of good storage and quality.
The real test for wine quality is when the guest can taste the small amount that is poured into the glass for evaluation.
The actual evaluation of wine follows a set of simple procedures, appearance, smell, flavor, texture and finish. There is no mystery, it's what you are happy with doing.

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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Silver Spring, MD: Where would you go for brunch before heading off to a day at the zoo?

Tom Sietsema: Ardeo is within strolling distance of the pandas and monkeys. That's a delicious start.

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Bethesda, MD: You mention the James Beard Foundation awards event in your column today. Are you able to attend events like this and the local Rammies, or would that compromise your anonymity?

Tom Sietsema: I attend the James Beard Awards gala every May, as I have since its inception (the first year it was on a boat!). But I do not attend the Rammies, since it is packed with people I cover on a routine basis. I hear it's a good party, though!

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Reston,VA: Love all the comments on this web discussion!; Need some help. Planning on popping the big question to my girlfriend. We are both huge food lovers and I would like to do this at a nice restaurant. I don't want to do it with the entire restaurant watching though. Is there any places with private tables or at least a table that will offer more privacy then most? Would this act be frowned upon by places like City Zen, Citronelle, or Maestro? Thanks for all your help.

Tom Sietsema: I think any of the three restaurants you mention would be thrilled to help you stage a proper "Would you marry me?" When you make a reservation, discuss the plan with the maitre d', who should help you find the perfect table.

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Bethesda, MD: Hi Tom!; Love your column and especially the chats!; My question is about restaurant etiquette- if you buy a bottle of wine at a restaurant and can't, or don't want to finish it before you leave, is it ok to take it with you? Thanks for taking my question!;

Tom Sietsema: Ah, this brings back a years-old memory of my first introduction to one of Washington's best mixologists, back when I was still a food critic for Microsoft's sidewalk.com.

I was dining solo in his restaurant, ordered a bottle of wine because I preferred it over the choice of wines by the glass, and later argued with said mixologist because I drank only a small portion of the wine and wanted to take the rest home. He said he couldn't allow that, legally, but promised to keep the remains for my next visit.

In short, I don't think the law allows you to carry around open bottles of wine purchased in restaurants, at least here in the District.

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Washington, DC: I was driving on Connecticut Avenue this past weekend and saw that Yanyu was closed!; It was my parent's favorite restaurant. Any news on what happened? Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: Sad but true. I wrote about its closing in an earlier Weekly Dish column.

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Washington, DC: Hi Tom,

My wife and I have often benefited from your advice. We just returned from Paris and found Hiramatsu every bit as good as you said. The service was exceptional throughout. To top it off, not only did they call a taxi for us at the end but saw us off at the curb. I can't imagine such care in DC. By the way, they have moved and expanded since your Postcard. We also discovered that Joel Robuchon has opened a second restaurant that accepts reservations. Alas, it was too late in our stay to snag a table.

Tom Sietsema: I'm happy to hear about your good experience. I'm returning to Paris for a quick look-see-taste next month.

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Washington, D.C.: Tom, I will be going to Aspen in June; are the restaurants in your 04 and 03 postcards from there still good bets? Also, do you know anything about the restaurant (Montagna) at the Little Nell (where we will be staying)?

Love your chats, reviews, and postcards - -they are a great resource!;

Tom Sietsema: Yep, the Postcard suggestions are still valid -- and they're all more interesting than what the Little Nell has to offer. I say that based on my meals there last summer, by the way.

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Silver Spring, MD: We are a couple in our early 40s with a five-year-old child and were out the other night with another couple/child with similar demographics. The restaurant was busy and uses a deli-counter type take-a-ticket number system to handle waiting parties. The hostess didn't take our name, only asked the number of people in our party to tie to our ticket number and told us to expect a 20-minute wait.

When we returned approximately fifteen minutes later, there was nobody at the hostess station, so I looked at the waiting list to see if we had missed our call. I was a little taken back to see the comment "Old Parents" by our number, clearly a cue to the hostess to remember our party.

We brought this to the attention of the head hostess (not the one writing the notes)who apologized, said that we didn't look old to her and that the note-writer was very young and that everyone must appear old to her. She graciously offered to pick up our drinks. We expected, but never got, a visit from a manager.

Do I have a right to feel insulted, or was I venturing into territory that was none of my business by looking at the list?

The restaurant (if you wish to print it) was Austin Grill in Silver Spring.

Tom Sietsema: This is a tricky one!

I have to be frank. You really shouldn't have looked at the reservation book. But you did. I'm sure the hostess would never have scribbled what she did if she thought the book might be seen by diners.

I think it was very gracious of the manager/head hostess to have offered drinks gratis.

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Bewildered in Berryville, VA: Tom, how does a soup/sandwich owner get nominated for James Beard over DC "chefs"? New York would never nominate a lunch stop place as their best chef, and why does New York get the bulk of the awards, i.e. Best New Restaurants? DC in my opinion has become a much better restaurant town in the last years, and I like Breadline prepared sandwiches, but come on, is this really representative of DC's best? Is there any relation to Sietsema, NYC (of course!;) journalist?

Tom Sietsema: The owner of BreadLine (a long-time friend of mine, I always feel duty-bound to say) is not just the creator of the best "sandwich" shop in the city. He has single-handedly changed the bread service in Washington, and he also influences the products served in some prominent restaurants elsewhere in the country, including the esteemed Per Se in New York.

I was thrilled, professionally, to see BreadLine in the lineup. Among other things, it means a dining room doesn't have to be a "fancy" place to eat to get recognition for good work.

Yeah, New York dominated the candidate lists for major national awards. Part of that has to do with the enormous press said restaurants get in the major food magazines, most of which happen to be based in -- New York! So a lot of voters are aware of these restaurants, even if they haven't personally experienced them.

I like the new wording on the ballots, though, which advises voters not to vote for chefs whose food they haven't eaten or in restaurants they haven't been to.

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Takoma Park Maryland: My wife and I just returned from a delightful trip to Aix-en-Provence, France. It is truly foodie paradise, as you might imagine. We discovered a local dish that was new to us called "bourride". It is a fish stew with a cream-based sauce. It was so delicious we ordered it two of the four nights we spent in Aix. The problem is my wife and I desperately need a fix of bourride to satisfy our craving. This is very important. Perhaps you or your readers can point us to a restaurant in the DC area (including Baltimore) that serves this delightful delicacy.

Tom Sietsema: I don't recall seeing the dish around here. Readers?

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Free consultations: Actually Tom, my dad is a physician in the area is often hit up for charity. Such as donating entire days to give high school physicals for free or even free physicals at silent auctions. Obviously not to the extent of restaurants but it does happen.

Tom Sietsema: I'm sure it does.

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Baseball caps: Thank you, Tom, if one over-25 male listens to you today you have performed a great service

Tom Sietsema: LOL

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Washington DC: Hello Tom,

Long time reader, first time poster. Just wanted to share a very upsetting dining experience at Cafe Milano. My boyfriend and I have heard great things, and all reviewers give it great reviews. We looked at the menu and though it looked very pricey, but figured the food must of been amazing. When we arrived...it was obvious the service was geared only to the people that the owner considered important. While we watched the people around us get pampered...our food was practically thrown at us, our water knocked over twice, my boyfriend hit in the head with a servers elbow with no apology, and our waiter changing three times. On top of this...we were brought a bill with several things added that were never ordered.

Not only was the service terrible...the food was absolutely disgusting. My boyfriends $30 fish tasted a week-old, with a foul fishy taste and was cooked in so much butter..it couldn't be eaten.

I feel like for those kind of prices ($16+ appetizers, $30+ entrees) one would expect good food and service. How is this places reviewed so highly? It was a VERY expensive evening and completely disappointing.

Tom Sietsema: Uh, um, I guess you don't follow MY reviews very closely ...

Cafe Milano is definitely more about the scene than the food. I could have told you that much. (And those great-looking gals at the bar? They're .... well, gossip ain't my beat, so I'll leave it at that.)

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I last dined at Iron Gate 3 years ago...: How do you remember that Tom?!; Do you keep some kind of log alphabetized by restaurant over the years or do you just have an amazing memory?

Signed,
A Woman Who Can't Recall What She Had for Breakfast

Tom Sietsema: My friends all laugh at me, but I keep detailed logs of where I eat and with whom. The records go back to when I was in senior high school!

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Annapolis, Maryland: A little nickpicking about this past Sunday's restaurant review...a Pazo is not a Catalan country house but a Galician one; two very different regions in Spain with very different cooking styles. Thought you'd like to know. Thanks.

Tom Sietsema: At least ten readers whose Spanish is better than mine called, emailed or sent nice letters regarding that slip.

And to you and them I say "gracias."

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Washington, D.C.: Any recommendations for an inexpensive early (5-6 pm) dinner on Sunday night near Dupont Circle. We are going to a play at the JCC. One member of our party is a pescatarian. Asian is usually a good choice (but no sushi). Thanks!;

Tom Sietsema: What about Teaism, Rice or Thaiphoon on S St?

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Washington, D.C.: I hope you will let me respond to your last posting last week on restaurant workers wearing gloves. Gloves give both the worker and patron a false sense of security about cleanliness. A recent study determined that wearing gloves does not improve food safety (but is no worse than not wearing gloves). The CDC's recommendations focus on proper handwashing and does not recommend wearing gloves for food preparation. There is no substitute for thorough handwashing (soap, hot water, wash for at least 20 seconds, dry thoroughly). The gloves worn by food preparers are not of high quality and therefore may have pinprick holes in them, the workers touch the exterior of the gloves to put them on, and workers who wear gloves may be less vigilant about proper handwashing (my opinion is that this is the biggest concern). People should be concerned that the restaurants they patronize ensure that workers properly wash their hands, but wearing gloves is not important.

Tom Sietsema: Your comments make sense to me.

(CDC: Centers for Disease Control)

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Washington DC: Tom... love, love, love the chat. Wanted to know what you thought of this one. My fiance and I made reservations at Belga Cafe on March 23 for dinner last Saturday (April 9) to celebrate his parents being in town. When we called to confirm, we were told there was no record of our reservation. When we asked to speak to a host, we were told there was not one. When we asked to speak to a manager, we were told that no such person existed. The waiter on the phone rudely told us our only option was to come and wait around 7 (the time of our original reservation) and if a table outside became available, there was a chance we could get it... maybe. We abandoned Belga for some good old home cooking Georgia Brown style but were upset that his parents did not get to try the restaurant we had hyped up so much prior to their visit.... how can a restaurant treat patrons like this? how can there be no manager and no host/hostess? What would you have done in this situation? We were quite polite throughout the entire phone call, but certainly did not receive the same treatment in response. any one else write in about a similar experience with Belga Cafe? How can a place expect to stay in business when treating potential customers so poorly?

Tom Sietsema: Unfortunately, I HAVE received more than a few negative reports regarding the service at the newish restaurant on the Hill.

No manager or host on duty? That's ridiculous. SOMEONE has to be in charge!

One way to get around the problem is to make a note of the time and date you called for a reservation -- along with the name of whoever took your reservation. Then, at least you have proof of having called and can present it as evidence.

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Re: Gay Friendly, Special Occasion: The post last week from the woman who got cold or awkward reactions when celebrating special occasions with her partner made me sad, too. And surprised (somewhat), that it's still a problem in our big metro city. It's gotta be that upscale urban restaurants simply can do better. This isn't rural red America. A few times like that and I'd want to stick to the safe places, too, but there's no reason it should happen.

Have you tried mentioning that it's a special occasion ahead of time, when making the reservation? Not "we're gay and it's a special occasion"--just "we're celebrating an anniversary" or whatever. If they're surprised when two women (or men) show up, I'd hope they could hide it, and follow through on the special occasion touches that any good upscale place ought to be able to provide.

As for Komi--gay, straight, whatever, that place rocks. They made our no-particular-occasion, four-heteros-for-a-Friday-dinner the highlight evening of last year. You'd have to be hung up on decor instead of food not to have an incredible time there. (Ask for wine suggestions--they've got stuff off the beaten path--and try the cheese plate!;)

Tom Sietsema: Komi is indeed a special restaurant. If only it had more competition on its block!

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Re: "Gay Friendly" restaurants: Tom: I missed the live chat last week, but I was intrigued by the posts about so-called "gay friendly" restaurants. Here's my beef with the practice: Why not "hetro friendly" or "black friendly" or "man friendly" or "left-handed friendly"? How about "gay unfriendly"? Does stating that a venue is "(special interest group here) friendly" imply that it is "unfriendly" to other groups?

Honestly, as the original poster asked, aren't nearly all restaurants "gay friendly"? Shouldn't they all just strive to be "friendly" period? Why do I need to know your sexual orientation? Why do you want to know mine? I just want to be treated as any customer/human being should be treated -- with friendliness, with respect and with courtesy. Treat me that way and I will continue to reciprocate.

I can tell you that I have been treated plenty rudely at at least one so-called "gay friendly" eatery in town. Not because of their perception of my gender or sexuality (or so I think), but because the people there are just plain rude. Thanks for letting me vent, Tom.

P.S. Don't assume you (readers) know anything about me. I'm just a restaurant patron. Fire away.

Tom Sietsema: It would be swell if every restaurant treated every guest with respect. But as we've learned here, that's not always the case.

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ID Checking: To the women who were upset that they were carded and their same age male dates were not:Men rarely wear makeup, dye their hair, etc... Men don't really try to hold back time, they are not expected to.

Women for whatever reason are held to a youthful standard. So maybe all the work you do before you go out has worked and you do look younger than you are.

Take it as a compliment not an insult.

Tom Sietsema: Hmmmmmm. I expect a lot of angry replies to this post.

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Frederick Maryland: Tom: As an owner of Zest Restaurant I would like to state that we are a gay friendly restaurant and a children friendly restaurant. You can come in jeans or get dressed up it is up to the patron. Although my mother gets upset to see people in jeans in the restaurant she is old school it does not bother me. This is a customer service business first. People that come to Zest should tell the waitstaff that it is a special nite. We will be happy to do something nice for them gay or strait.
Thanks
David A. Jones
Chef Owner
Zest Restaurant
200 S. Market Street
Frederick MD 21701
301-620-7480
www.eatatzest.com

Tom Sietsema: Thanks for letting the crowd know (and congrats on relocating from Monrovia).

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Washington, DC: Tom - I'd like to respond to a post last week about gay couples getting less than good service when out celebrating an event. I just wanted to let you know that my partner and I have been warmly greeted by many restaurants when we've been celebrating either our anniversary or one of our birthdays. For example, the following restaurants have gone out of their way to help us celebrate --

Tosca (dessert came with "Happy Anniversary" written in chocolate on the edge of the plate),

Ceiba (menu had "Happy Anniversary" written on the top),

1789 (comped glasses of champagne for my partner's birthday dinner),

Ashby Inn (the owner stopped by our table and thanked us for choosing to celebrate our anniversary at the Inn), and

Charlie Palmer's (comped our desserts).

I am sorry that the other poster has had bad experiences outside of the gayborhood, but there are top-notch fine restaurants in DC that don't treat gay customers any differently than other customers...

Tom Sietsema: We started the hour with a gripe, so let's end with a rave.

Off to lunch, kids. Have a great remainder of the week.

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