Man-Eater

"We in the media create a picture of success that comes very quickly and with little effort," she says. "If you grow up with the love and respect already, you don't go look for it in some splashy, superficial space."

Ah, but every success -- even the splashy, superficial ones -- creates hope. Americans, says de Botton, remain remarkably optimistic and want to believe the game is fair.

"What interests me is that both Kerry and Bush have acquired their wealth in very un-American ways: Bush by nepotism and inheritance, and Kerry by marrying money that was, in turn, inherited." But it is Edwards's rags-to-riches story, like Ronald Reagan's, that appeals most to many voters.

In short: We want very much to believe that someone is going to be the next Bill Gates, the next Tom Cruise, the first black president. Why not me?

Sick About Making It

Ambitious people become nervous people, says Collins, and nervous people do what they can to protect themselves. One job loss, one catastrophic illness, a divorce, or even rising college tuition could be the difference between security and ruin. So they build walls of security around their families. They buy an SUV so they'll be safer if they get into an accident. They live in a gated community, they send their kids to private school, they buy private health insurance. All of this is expensive, so they work more hours to pay for it, telling themselves anyone who doesn't do all this is somehow less.

Things that were luxuries a generation ago are now considered necessities: two family cars, air conditioning, a dishwasher, two or more televisions. The journey from "I want" to "I need" to "I deserve" has become increasingly short. What is startling about this is how completely so many people buy into this status consumerism -- and its attendant stress.

One might think that Americans are working themselves sick. But researchers have uncovered a link between perceived social status and health. All other things being equal, people who describe themselves as lower status have higher rates of infection and stress-related disorders.

De Botton offers his own solutions to all this anxiety: Focus instead on art, religion, philosophy or even reject the whole status thing as foolish hooey. Not that that's likely to happen in Washington for the next, oh, thousand years. In the meanwhile, we'll do what bright, nervous, high-achieving people always do: obsess over whether our kids will do better.

"We don't want our daughter to go to a no-name college," two parents told Diane E. Epstein, who directs a college admissions counseling service in Bethesda. Epstein's job is to help students find a good academic fit; parents fixate on the "right" university, private school and even nursery school.

"I actually had the family of a 2-year-old call me," she said. Their child, they sighed, had the wrong birthday. The child's birthday fell just beyond the cutoff for their preschool of choice, preventing their little darling from admission until the following year. Epstein patiently explained that although many things are possible, changing a birth date was not one of them.

Another generation dips into the anxiety pool.