Liquidity Crisis

"That's a good answer," I said. "No one likes to pay taxes."

"Money in an offshore account is worth twice as much as a tax cut in the United States. Don't get me wrong. America is a great country -- and what makes it great are all the loopholes it offers its citizens. This is what turns the wheels of the global economy."

I said, "You don't have to bank in the Caymans. Can't you go somewhere that's hurricane-proof?"

"Of course. I can go to Switzerland, Liechtenstein or the Canary Islands. But what my lawyer and I liked about the Caymans is that my bank throws in snorkeling equipment and a wetsuit with it."

"That's better than a set of Tupperware," I said.

"Another thing I like about being in the Cayman Islands is that I'm banking with the big boys. Next to my safe deposit box is one of the largest movie companies in the world. Below me is an American company that makes computers in India and sends the proceeds directly to the Caymans.

"Above me is a Pentagon defense outfit making missiles for our boys in Iraq. They charge their expenses in the United States and keep their profits in the islands."

"Of course. The companies owe it to their stockholders," I said.

"That's the way we look at it. Offshore people are optimists. They believe in tax havens, and despite the hurricanes, the Cayman Islands are still the best place to have a free lunch."

© 2004 Tribune Media Services