Let's face it, when it comes to interior decorating, husbands generally go along to get along, all the while hoping for the best, which is to say, the least: Some modest changes that will satisfy the homemaker half of the marriage without busting the budget.
It is terrain laden with emotional landmines, as issues of control, taste and -- hardly least -- money are played out on a Thurberesque battlefield of the sexes.
(Len Spoden - The Washington Post)
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"Most of the time, the wife initiates," says Beverly Patz, a Reston decorator who's been in the business for more than 20 years. "The husband wants to know how much it's going to cost."
Gender stereotyping? Perhaps. But perhaps not.
According to a recent survey by the American Furniture Manufacturers Association, 78 percent of women said shopping for home furnishings is their favorite activity; 74 percent of men surveyed would rather do anything else. On the other hand, in another, somewhat contradictory study, the industry group said 88 percent of men it surveyed are involved in "furnishing and accessorizing" their homes.
Whether that's by choice or wifely nudging, the association didn't say.
"Though many men are playing an increasingly active furnishing role," the AFMA did say, "many of [those surveyed] admitted that women continue to figure prominently in their decision-making process."
Or, as Bethesda couples counselor Robert Caldwell put it, "Fortunately, usually men don't give a damn. That's how a lot of it is settled. Oftentimes, this is a place where men yield to women."
On one recent Saturday night, near Westfield Shoppingtown Montgomery mall in Bethesda, couples are having what amounts to an Expo Design Center date, browsing among bathroom tiles and stainless steel kitchen sinks. One guy is sleeping on a bench while his spouse flips through fabric swatches.
Maybe home furnishings stores should have more benches where guys can sack out, maybe with large-screen TVs, with cable that doesn't get the shopping channels or HGTV. Like in Ikea, a store with play areas for kids: How about a Husbands' Hangout where women can park their spouses?
But no, the significant other must be an enabler, accompanying her (sometimes him, but not usually) to offer support and opinions which will, as they say, be taken under advisement. The new metrosexual stereotype and design-industry hype notwithstanding, most guys just aren't into it.
"I could live in a shack. I don't need anything fancy," says loan officer Shapur Bashur, 34, at Expo Design with his wife, Audrey, 35, a stay-at-home mom pregnant with twins. They are there to look at kitchen faucets. Remodeling the kitchen in their Great Falls home was her idea.
"He handles the money, I handle the decorating," she says.
"I try not to spend it all," he says. "I think the contractors, they kind of prey on the wives with more ideas. They kind of low-ball you to get in the door. Then they come up with other ideas."
