Post Magazine: The Problem With the French

Recently Gene Weingarten, ambassador without portfolio, went to Paris to try to patch up the strained, stereotype-ridden relations between the United States of America and the republic of France. His article "The Problem With the French . . ." appeared in Sunday's Washington Post Magazine.

He was online to field questions and comments about the article and the state of Franco-American affairs.

Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway column for The Washington Post Magazine and is a staff writer for the Style section.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Gene Weingarten: Good afternoon.

There are many smart and fervent questions awaiting, and I want to get right to them. But one word of caution: I am an ignoramus. I pretend to expertise only on the subjects of antique clock repair and American comics of the late 20th century. If you are going to ask me about why France is oppressing the people of Corsica, as several of you have, I just can't help you. I went to France, a place I'd never been, for six days. I'm happy to discuss what I found there.


Let's go.

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Washington, D.C.: Judging from the Bill Clinton joke told to you during your stay in France, it looks like the French looked down on our current president and our last president pretty much the same as they look down upon all Americans. (Yeah, that's a mass generalization, but your whole article is about mass generalizations, right?) Do you think the French hate Dubya more because Clinton was willing to work with them in spite of their dislike, whereas Bush just sends the contempt right back at 'em?

Gene Weingarten: No, I think they despise Bush because of everything he is. In terms of his style, they dislike him for some of the very reasons many Americans like him - how he is plain spoken, willing to admit he does not know things, and, indeed, seemingly contemptuous of erudition, sophistication, and thus such. The French want grandeur in their leaders and institutions - they respect an intellectual arrogance, and Bush, basically, has an ANTI-intellectual arrogance. They cannot believe a leader could joke about having been a C student. (No one ever doubted Bill Clinton's intelligence, or his savoir-faire.)

And, of course, the French also dislike Bush for all the reasons some Americans are becoming uncomfortable with him. Bush has very, very sharp elbows and shows either an amazing disinclination or an amazing inability to explain himself and his policies. He has the gall (or the strength, take your pick) to force a war on much of the rest of the world and then demand their help in cleaning it up.

So, in short, with the French, George W. Bush gets zero benefit of the doubt: On the issues of the missing WMDs, what Americans seem to be willing to see as an unfortunate but mostly irrelevant failure of intelligence, the French see as treachery. It isn't hard to understand why.

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Washington, D.C.: Are the French really that smelly?

Gene Weingarten: Ye, and no. The French live in a place with virtually no air conditioning. You'd be smelly, too. In fact, I was.

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Del Ray, Alexandria, Va.: They can't make cars, rock songs, or action movies, but there are two areas in which France is unquestionably superior to this country. First, I contend that Catherine Deneuve is the absolute hottest 60-year-old woman on the planet. Second, they have the best national anthem in the world. I would trade ours for theirs and throw in Utah to sweeten the deal, assuming that France would accept Utah.

Gene Weingarten: Completely agreed. But I'd also take "Oh Canada" over ours.

The French National Anthem is amazing bloody, translated. You've got throats being cut and so forth, I believe.

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Derwood, Md.: Isn't ironic that a country like France that willingly collaborated with the Germans and helped send thousands of French Jews to Auschwitz now does not have a death penalty. What message do you think is being sent to the world when they failed to execute convicted Nazi-war criminal Klaus Barbie? How can French be a bastion of liberalism when it tolerates and collaborates with totalitarianism?

Gene Weingarten: A fair question. The French, I think it is safe to say, are very conflicted and troubled by what happened in World War II. One of the reasons DeGaulle became and remained a national hero is that he was the guy who declared, bluntly, like a national salve, "Vichy was not France." And the French wanted, and needed, to hear that. I think one of the reasons it was so important to them is that they feared or suspected that maybe Vichy, y'know, WAS sort of maybe France. All I can say is that I felt nothing remotely anti-Semitic in my six days, and I can't exactly pose as a gentile.

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Theo, RI: Thank you thank you for that wonderful closing paragraph. It was hysterical, yet tragic.
I also appreciated the French chef's analogy for American chefs. But we now know that what those American chefs do is protected by the Constitution!;

Gene Weingarten: Noted.

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Atlanta, Ga.: Great article.

Whenever I've been in France, I've been treated very well, with only a few small exceptions (a cheese shop, predictably, was one of the places I was sneered at).

My question is shallow: If you really asked the questions that you did (a la "Innocents Abroad"), did you in the end tell them why? Or did you leave them with an even worse impression of American ignorance and arrogance?

Thanks!

Gene Weingarten: No, I explained to everyone that I was a humor writer. They needed to know that.

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Washington, D.C.: Did you make any big mistakes in this story? Would you know by now? What per centage of stories would you think have mistakes in them?

Gene Weingarten: I would say virtually every story has some mistake in it. I am not sure it is a mistake, exactly, but as soon as my wife read it in the magazine, she pointed to the photo of Sophie Martins, whom I had described as wearing a sleeveless top, and she said, "You idiot. That's a tank top."

I said, "But it's sleeveless, isn't it?" And she looked at me like I was hopeless.

It's a gender thing, I guess, like a woman saying the Yankees have three "points."

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College Park, Md.: Vive la France! Serving as the conscience for a nation of willfully ignorant savages like the U.S. is tough work, and they should be commended for it. How many anti-French Amurrikans could even find France on a map? I'd wager less than half on a good day, and less than half of them could tell you what language they speak.

If even a quarter of U.S. citizens were half as aware and informed as the average French citizen, the whole world would be a better place.

Gene Weingarten: You know, I fear I believe this.

Virtually all the French people I dealt with, from handymen to news dealers to 24-year-old students in the street, were amazingly well informed about the world. Whereas in the United States polls suggest more than half the people think Saddam Hussein launched 9/11. Interestingly, the French seem to understand this about Americans, and LIKE us for it. It explains how we can be nice, decent people and at the same time support Bush: We just don't understand!

Yes, that's arrogance. But it's kind of sweet arrogance.

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Maryland: I'm leaving for France on Friday (Paris part of the time, a little town in Provence the rest). Any advice on how not to look like a stupid American?

Gene Weingarten: Yes, lose about 20 pounds before you leave.

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Wash, ME: I noted this chat is (appropriately) taking a different tone than your Tuesday chats. Do you find that the tone of your writing changes based on content or your expected audience? I am teaching freshman English this year, and I would like to use a BtB column and this article as examples for a lesson.

Gene Weingarten: Yes, most of the questions are serious, so I am trying to answer them seriously. More or less. Poop.

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Potomac, Md.: Between your absolutely hilarious article about the French and the glorious weather, I had one of the best weekends ever! My wife couldn't understand why I was rolling on the floor in fits of laughter, until she read your article, too.

You are a obviously a good observer and you listen well: I remember the French exactly as you described them from my student days, some umpteen years ago. Perhaps, you should have added that Americans are not singled out for punishment by the descendants of Charles de Gaulle -- the champion of all American haters. The French think of the Belgians as dumber than a hunk of wood; the Italians are just a bunch of thieves; the Swiss cannot possibly be befriended; and when it comes to the Germans (like me) -- just forget it, unless you want to triple your vocabulary of cuss words in less than a minute.

Anyway, thanks for a real good time!

Gene Weingarten: It is true. The Belgians are the French's Poles. Jerome, the photographer, was Belgian. I think he understood that on some level, he was probably an object of amusement to them.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Umm Gene? I think our president thinks Saddam launched 9/11. At least his comments last night suggest this.

Gene Weingarten: Hm. Good point!

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Yankees (you mentioned them first): The Yankees are playing RIGHT NOW. And, you are hosting an insightful, humorous and highly worthwhile discussion RIGHT NOW. I'm torn. What would you do?

Gene Weingarten: WHAT'S THE SCORE? WHAT'S THE SCORE?

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Ex Pat: Gene, I wasn't expecting this chat until tomorrow. So you are pulling zee doob-la du-tee, no?

Actually, one thing I expected you to comment on was the prevalence of cigarette smoking; restaurants do not have no smoking sections and the French think nothing of lighting up between courses, which is somewhat surprising because of the emphasis they place on food. It's also why the woman are thin; they starve themselves and smoke.

The French are also the world's greatest per capita consumers of pharmaceuticals, which is why there are pharmacies on every block.

As for McDonalds, the whole thing is a little overrated since they like them for the same reasons traveling families both here and in France like them: reliable food with a clean bathroom. Whole books could be written about the lack of public restrooms in France and the etiquette of never going during a meal, despite all the wine and length of the courses.

Only uncouth Americans try to turn over a table multiple times in an evening; it's one table per dinner there.

Viva la difference.

Gene Weingarten: It is true, in a restaurant, you own your table for as long as you wish to be there. It is also true that people bring their dogs to the restaurants. We saw this several times. I actually like this.

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Annandale, Va.: Several months ago in your 'Below The Beltway' column you had a debate with a political conservative (I don'tremember who). The one thing you both could agree on was "The French are annoying." After spending six days there, has your position been re-affirmed or have you had a change of heart?

washingtonpost.com: Below the Beltway, (July 21, 2002)

Gene Weingarten: Truth to tell, I had a change of heart. I liked the French. Also, truth to tell, when the French embassy asked for some copies of my articles before they authorized an interview, I, um, forgot to send them this one.

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Herndon, Va.: Mr. Weingarten: My congratulations for a hilarious AND thought-provoking article. Did you have to "dig" for the "more McDonalds/Burger King" comment from the Texas tourist? It sounded too good to be true.

Gene Weingarten: Not only did I not have to dig for that quote, it wasn't even said to me. They said it to Jerome.

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Charlottesville, Va.: The New Yorker published a similar piece about France, "The Anti-Anti-Americans" by Adam Gopnik, in the Sept. 1 issue. It has all the pithy, thought-provoking, information you'd expect from the New Yorker, delivered with all the hilarity you'd expect from that magazine, too, unfortunately. In any case, I wouldn't read your article without reading the other one, because Gopnik really plumbs what the French are thinking about themselves, too.

washingtonpost.com: The Anti-Anti-Americans, (The New Yorker, Sept. 1)

Gene Weingarten: This article is well worth reading. It's a bit of a thicket, though.

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Paris, France: Sir,

Can you tell me for which precise reason the U.S. and English armies regularly bombed and then invaded Iraq?

Thank you.

Gene Weingarten: No, I cannot.

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Silver Spring, Md. Cubicle: So, did you like the food or not?

Gene Weingarten: The food was relentlessly good. It made me a little embarrassed, to tell the truth. You would go into a place that was the equivalent of a corner bar, or a TGI Fridays, and you'd a magnificent duck stew.

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Alexandria, Va.: Many of the French bring their dogs everywhere. I will never forget when I was in a butcher's shop and a woman held up the meat she was buying for her dog to sniff. The dog wasn't happy with it so she handed it back to the butcher and asked for a different piece.

Gene Weingarten: Excellent! I can see that happening.

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Arlington, Va.: Look, Funnyman, I have an uncle buried in France. He was killed in action, July 14, 1944, neart St. Lo. You can take the French dislike of America and Americans as a cute joke and amusing aside. I do not.

Gene Weingarten: Well, you know -- my main point was that the French do NOT dislike Americans or America. Not that I could see, anyway. They seem to very much dislike our current president, and what he is doing to the world. I hope my story was not disrespectful to those who gave their lives 60 years ago; I surely didn't mean it to be.

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14th & L: As the writer David Sedaris said "The French have never said that they are the best. They just never said the U.S. is the best, and we interpret that as arrogance."

While there may be many problems with the French, they treat their workers a heck of a lot better than we do!

Gene Weingarten: They've figured out a few things better than we have; they're screwed up in other ways, though. And while the French worker seems to have a lot of vacation time and such, there seems to be a national strike of one sort or another nearly every month. So things can't be TOTALLY copacetic, labor-wise.

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Hair of the Dog: If French people, due entirely to environmental reasons, smell more pungent than Americans, then does the same hold true for their dogs? If so, wouldn't the dogs interfere with the enjoyment of a good meal more than the cigarettes?

Perhaps the reason the French are always pictured with their noses in the air is because they are trying to avoid the low-lying odors of "les chiens flatueux."

Gene Weingarten: Dogs don't sweat.

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Annandale, Va.: OK, I understand that when you were in Dieppe, Marie Lebourg looked cute and with her boyfriend right there, you didn't want to start an argument with her. With all due respect, what would a 24-year-old student, granted one who can find the U.S. on a map, know about "commercial imperialism?" After all, we Americans do not go to France, put guns to the heads of the French people and command them "Go to McDonalds or we'll blow your brains out." They do it of their own free will. Why blame us for that?

Gene Weingarten: You are completely correct. The spread of our culture is an immutable fact of the global economy, I think: She really should be angry at the French, if there is, indeed, something to be angry about.

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Lyme, Conn.: How are French comic strips?

washingtonpost.com: Asterix

Gene Weingarten: Here you go.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Bonjour, monsieur. I am a French citizen living in Silver Spring (of all places). I've been called a frog, been reminded of my country's cowardly army (I avoided the French draft), been asked why I don't smell, etc. I know how the French feel about Americans (I have my own prejudices). But I believe Americans have been more vicious than the French in this latest transatlantic spat. Would you agree?

Gene Weingarten: Yes. But it may well be because the French have more to lose in antagonizing Americans than we have to lose in antagonizing the French.

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Chevy Chase, Md.: I would assume that the Sunday Washington Post Magazine is available world wide. When do you expect to get reaction from some of the people interviewed in your story or from the French embassy itself. If you do get feedback, will you share it with us on your regular "Funny, You Should Ask?" chat?

Gene Weingarten: If it's interesting, sure. So far I have received a number of emails from French people in France. Most liked the story. So far.

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Fairfax Cubeville: So what surprised you the most? Also: sleeveless means there is no fabric on the shoulder at all.

Gene Weingarten: It does? Really? washingtonpost.com, will you weigh in on this, please? Is it wrong to call a tank top "sleeveless"?

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Yankees Score: Yankees lead Toronto 1-0 with bases loaded and 1 out in the home half of the first... more updates as new scores become available

Gene Weingarten: Thank you.

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Bowie, Md.: Did you ever get to talk to any immigrants from the Muslim world?

Gene Weingarten: Yes, but they refused to be quoted. It was a huge family at the beach at Dieppe, and their opinions ranged from rabidly anti-American to staunchly pro-American.

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Springfield, Va.: Hi Gene--

Thanks for the great article -- most of my day yesterday was spent rolling on the floor laughing.

Comedian Chris Rock said a while ago that the world is obviously turned around because "the Germans are pacifists, and the French are accusing US of being arrogant", etc. Care to comment?

BTW, in response to Arlington, I think the bond between the French and America has been
and will be cemented -- precisely BECAUSE of Normandy, the Statue of Liberty, Lafayette, etc. Do you agree?

Gene Weingarten: Yes, I think Rock also pointed out that a black man is the leading golfer in the world, and a white man the leading rapper.

And yes, I think the bonds between America and the French are much, much stronger than their differences.

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Arlington, Va.: Dude! Six days there looking for stereotypes, and no mention of Jerry Lewis? Why not? Did you want to avoid being too obvious? And Euro-Disney! You missed out on that!

Gene Weingarten: Yes, I avoided both for precisely that reason.

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Washington, D.C.: Gene, I've seen fat, ugly people in French movies. Were they really Belgians?

Gene Weingarten: I guess they were Americans.

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Atlanta, Ga.: Just how much sexier are French women than American ones, and why? Is it all about the weight thing, or did you notice an actual nous ne savons quoi about them?

Gene Weingarten: Well, I noticed that people -- men and women -- are slimmer. My wife noticed, fairly dramatically, that they dress better. There is also a flirtation in casual conversation. It is not only tolerated, it is encouraged.

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Washington, D.C.: You are wonderful, fabulous, brilliant. That was just the best thing I've read in months. I cannot thank you enough for going on your secret mission.

Gene Weingarten: Thank you. See the next posting.

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Fair Lakes, Va.: I didn't know you changed your last name to ignorant.

Gene Weingarten: Just seeking balance here.

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Vienna, Va.: What we can REALLY thank the lousy French for is delaying us from going into Iraq for so long that Saddam had all the time he wanted to hide the WMD's so well that we may never find them at all. Yes, I blame Bush, but not for the reasons many others state here. Bush should have immediately given up on the French, Germans, and the entire UN at the first sign of stonewalling, and gone in much sooner than we did.

Gene Weingarten: Well, this is precisely the point made by the Baptist minister at the end of the story. No WMDs? It's France's fault!

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New York: Gene -
It is really amazing how much you really look like your caricature. And from the cover photo of the magazine it looks like you're maintaining your eyebrow wax! plucking along the lines?

The artist deserves a raise.

Excellent article.

Gene Weingarten: Yes, I've said this before, but I have been recognized on the street specifically and only from Richard Thompson's drawing.

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Arlington, Va.: What is great about the strikes in France is that rather than see them as an annoyance, most French people actually support them. They are afraid that if one group loses out on its benefits, pensions, etc., everybody elses will be in danger. So fine, you don't get mail for a week, or the trains don't run, or the museums are closed. Who cares! I want my 30 hour work week, my six weeks of vacation.
And you have to admit they do have a nice lifestyle and standard of living.

Gene Weingarten: All true.

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Au Contraire: French women (or for that matter, Italian or pick your european nationality) aren't thin "because they smoke and starve themselves." They are thin because they don't eat American-size portions, because they have a balanced diet, live in a place where fruit is considered dessert, don't eat nearly as much sugar in their diets, eat fewer prepared foods a la Kraft Mac and Cheese, and walk EVERYWHERE.

Gene Weingarten: Okay, calm down. We all agree French women are babes.

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STUP, OR: Loved the article in the Mag, and am finding this chat amusing as well, but I am not getting my weekly quotient of poop humor. Will I be able to count on you tomorrow?

Gene Weingarten: Of course.

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washingtonpost.com: Yep, you're wife is right. This is sleeveless. Sophie is definitely wearing a tank-top." Gene Weingarten: Sigh. Well, that's just great. An enormous error, right in the heart of the story.

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Washington, D.C.: I've been to Paris three times in the last five years and found the French there to be helpful and friendly. The only time we were given a sneer was when we ordered the cheese plate before the first course.

I don't speak very good French but ALWAYS talk to them in my best version. Never in English unless they talk to me in that language first. (no doubt because its simply faster for them to deal with me)

Gene Weingarten: Supposedly, the French react terribly when one speaks to them in English. I didn't have that problem.

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Falls Church, Va.: Did most of the people you met there seem to make a distinction between their opinion of our government and their opinion of our people?

Gene Weingarten: Yes, precisely. They bent over backwards to make that distinction.

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Laurel, Md.: Basides being a cowboy, do the French perceive Mr. Bush as being immersed in the culture of big business, who doesn't want to threaten Halliburton's profits by spreading the rebuilding internationally, and would be horrified by a whole country taking all of August off, like he did?

Gene Weingarten: I didn't hear that, but had I raised it, I am sure they would have agreed. They would have agreed to anything negative about Bush.

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Fairfax, Va.: Vienna made an EXCELLENT point. The French should be absolutely ashamed of themselves... their intransigence permitted Saddam to hide the weapons superbly. Even our best military experts cannot as yet find them. THAT is where we lost the war, not just in the guerilla actions. The Iraqis did an absolutely SUPERB job of hiding these weapons.

Gene Weingarten: Sigh.

Sigh sigh sigh.


Sigh.

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Washington, D.C.: How come you only got to go for six days? Is that because The Post is tight or is that all the vacation time you get?

Gene Weingarten: You think sending me to Paris for six days on an idiot humor story was "tight" of the Post?????

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Dystop,IA: Gene,

Does this mean we'll get two chats with you this week? And now that we have a Front Page picture of you, are signed re-prints available? How about wall-poster sized? (I am quite amazed at how well the cartoon-likeness does match the real-deal)

Anyway, I enjoyed the ending of the article. The juxtaposition of the bush-lovin' McDonalds-eatin, out-spoken-no-apologies rednecks from Texas provide an all-too-common stereotype of American tourists. Please tell me you were not rude, pushy, poorly dressed and otherwise slovenly while traveling abroad. (And don't make us ask the Mrs.)

washingtonpost.com: Main Entry: dys-to-pia Pronunciation: (")dis-'tO-pE-& 1 : an imaginary place where people lead dehumanized and often fearful lives

Gene Weingarten: My initial idea was to go over as an ugly American, but I decided not to on several grounds, not the least of which was that had I done so, my wife would have refused to go with me.

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Trolls: Gene, don't get trolled.. They are trying, but quit feeding them ..

Gene Weingarten: Trolled? I do not know this term? Led on?

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SHE IS WRONG! THEY BOTH ARE!: Yes, it's a tank top, but all tank tops are sleeveless. Stick to your guns, Gene-O!

washingtonpost.com: All of you writing in with the same convoluted logic -- you're just splitting hairs, you kiss-ups!

Gene Weingarten: We have to get to the bottom of this!

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In-vestige-ational Reporting: Shouldn't the existence of a McDonald's in France effectively end any consideration of the nation as "Old Europe?"

Also, what were you actually holding in your outstretched hand when the Magazine cover photo was taken?

Gene Weingarten: I was holding nothing. At the point we took that picture, we knew we weren't getting a frog and that we'd need a cartoon later.

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French Lick, Pa.: Gene,
You are usually EXTREMELY entertaining and funny. Of all the humor chats, yours is by far the best. I hate to say I couldn't get past Day Two in your article. Better luck when you visit the Germans.

Gene Weingarten: Gosh, you missed Day Three, when I had sex with a prostitute.

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Bowie, Md.: Why did you need three weeks off from your regular column for a 6-day visit?

Gene Weingarten: Well, um, stories need to be written, not just reported.

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re: Liz and Tank Tops: How would Liz know? She doesn't even wear pants.

washingtonpost.com: I don't smoke crack or shoot heroin either, but know the difference. Grr.

Gene Weingarten: Okay, I think we'll wrap it up on that note. Thank you all, and I apologize for the hundreds of questions I couldn't get to.

See some of you tomorrow...

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