"Brad & Jen, Renee, Mary-Kate, Ben, Beyonce: Gossip No One Else Will Print," proclaims a November cover line. It turns out to refer to a story that reveals where those stars buy their coffee.
"The smokin' body flaw that will get you great sex," said a cover line last fall. It was touting a one-paragraph ode to the alleged sexiness of a little roll of fat hanging over a gal's jeans.
"Yet another great reason to keep on smoking!" yelled a cover line in August. It referred to a one-paragraph item about how some people get acne when they stop smoking.
To read Jane is to wonder: Who buys this magazine? What kind of woman reads Jane?
Fortunately, those are questions Jane answers in amazing detail. Jane is constantly polling its readers about themselves, and the results are delightfully bizarre:
"One-third of you guys have created a sex toy from something lying around the house," Jane reported in the November issue.
"In 1999, Jane's sex poll revealed that 34 percent of you readers cheat" on boyfriends or husbands, Jane reported in October. "By this year, that number had risen to 53 percent. Atta-girl. No, wait -- bad, bad!"
Last April, Jane published the results of a survey asking readers about their bodies. The results were surprisingly unsurprising:
"What is your main recurring health problem?" the magazine asked. The most common answer was "hangovers."
"What medications do you take?" Jane asked. The most common answer was "birth control."
"What vice can you not give up?" Jane asked. Alcohol, said 34 percent of readers. Cigarettes, said 22 percent. Pot, said 13 percent. "Other," said 31 percent.
"Other" no doubt covers a multitude of sins. But a reader identified as "Kira-Lynn, 19" identified her vice: "Jane magazine."
It's a vice that causes mindless giggling, as well as occasional spells of nausea, and it probably kills brain cells, too. But it is surprisingly addictive.
