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Below the Beltway

Dial M for Mischief

This is one tough customer

By Gene Weingarten
Sunday, January 30, 2005; Page W36

As I see it, if God didn't want me to harass customer service reps, He wouldn't have put those toll-free numbers for "comments or questions" on product packages.

Schick Razors

(Eric Shansby)

Me: I have an idea for you.

Carrie: Okay.

Me: I've noticed that women's razors tend to be pastel-colored and have really girly names like the Gillette "Venus" and the "Lady ShaveMs." But I was delighted to see the Schick "Intuition" goes past all that and is celebrating a female character trait.

Carrie: Right!

Me: I was wondering if Schick has considered broadening this concept. For example, the Schick "Crying at the Drop of a Hat."


Me: Or, the Schick "If you Don't Know What You Did Wrong, I Won't Tell You."

Johnson & Johnson's RoC

Skin Care Products

Me: Does your anti-cellulite cream work on anyone? I am 5-foot-4, 343 pounds.

Susan: Well, it diminishes cellulite.

Me: When I am naked, I look like a walnut the size of a rhinoceros. If I use this product conscientiously, will it make me look buff and svelte?

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