As I see it, if God didn't want me to harass customer service reps, He wouldn't have put those toll-free numbers for "comments or questions" on product packages.
Me: I have an idea for you.
Me: I've noticed that women's razors tend to be pastel-colored and have really girly names like the Gillette "Venus" and the "Lady ShaveMs." But I was delighted to see the Schick "Intuition" goes past all that and is celebrating a female character trait.
Me: I was wondering if Schick has considered broadening this concept. For example, the Schick "Crying at the Drop of a Hat."
Me: Or, the Schick "If you Don't Know What You Did Wrong, I Won't Tell You."
Johnson & Johnson's RoC
Skin Care Products
Me: Does your anti-cellulite cream work on anyone? I am 5-foot-4, 343 pounds.
Susan: Well, it diminishes cellulite.
Me: When I am naked, I look like a walnut the size of a rhinoceros. If I use this product conscientiously, will it make me look buff and svelte?