Apartment Life

Welcome to Apartment Life, an online discussion of the Washington area rental market, featuring Post columnist Sara Gebhardt.

In her monthly exchanges with the audience, Gebhardt discusses rental issues and lifestyle matters.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Sara Gebhardt: Hello to all renters and others who have stopped by today. Hopefully you're all doing well in the realm of rental living. Let's get to your questions.

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Bethesda, Md.: Sara- I am desperately trying to move to my OWN apartment, no roommates. On ~$40K a year, it seems impossible. Do you know of any areas in the Metro area that I could afford??

Sara Gebhardt: It is very possible to have your own place on that kind of income, as long as you're not too picky about location and size of your unit. If you start looking at areas you like, then you'll be able to figure out which are in your ballpark, or expand your search from there. It's nice to have a few requirements beyond just the price of rent to narrow your search.

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Falls Church, Va.: How does one get friendlier with neighbors? My girlfriend and I have lived in our building for a year now and really don't know anyone. We say hi to people in the hallways while doing laundry, getting mail, heading to the elevator, etc. but that's it. Would it be weird to invite some neighbors over for dinner or a party one night? Then we could all get to know one another. My girlfriend thinks it would be weird, I think it would be nice.

Sara Gebhardt: As long as your neighbors seem like the type to be receptive to such an offer, I think it's nice too. But, perhaps better still would be to have a few non-neighbor friends over and then invite the neighbors too, so that they don't get the idea that you're courting solely them. Social gatherings are a good way to get to know neighbors, as are meetings about safety with community police officers, or management-sponsored mixers. Just remember that many apartment-dwellers value their privacy and do not want to know their neighbors well. By making an invitation, you'll be able to tell who's who among the bunch.

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Arlington, Va.: Do you perceive an influx of renters from Virginia to take advantage of the relatively new rental properties in DC? Although there is a tax advantage in living in Virginia, (5.75% to 9.5% in D.C.) it is very dull. And the kind of excitement you get in D.C. isn't like the old days with sounds of gunshots.

Sara Gebhardt: Actually, I don't know if renters from Virginia will move into the city with all the new rental properties going up. I'm of the opinion that people in Virginia like living on that side of the river, as it has its own feel and attitude. And many people living in close-in suburbs are paying just as much in rent just to have easy access to the city without having to deal with actually living in D.C. Why don't we just ask those in Virginia how much they really want to move into the city?

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Maryland: I'm going to be moving, and would like to purchase a home rather than rent in my new city. Would it be inappropriate to simply leave my current apartment (furnished) empty for for a month or two (or three) while I look for a home in my new town? That is, if I continued to pay for my utilities, is a landlord likely to have a problem if the apartment wasn't actually occupied on a daily basis?

Sara Gebhardt: A landlord is likely to have no problem with this as long as the rent and bills are being paid. Just make sure to notify the landlord in case something does happen while you're away. Good luck in your search.

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Falls Church, Va.: Hello Sara. Thanks in advance for reading this question and trying to provide a solution.

My girfriend moved in with my roomate and I about two months ago in our 2 bedroom apartment. My roomate and I have been best friends for 15 years and never had any problems beyond what normally occurs in a friendship.

Problem-Since my girfriend has moved in, my roomate just doesn't clean up around the apartment anymore. He leaves his dishes out, keeps the living room messy and just blasts his music all the time.

I have't said anything to him. My girlfriend has mentioned about us moving out together but I don't want to ruin my friendship with my roomate. What should I do? Our lease will be up in August '04.

Sara Gebhardt: First, it might be appropriate to talk to your roommate. A lifelong friend should be able to admit that his behavior changed as a result of your girlfriend moving in. Messy common areas and loud music are something that could even lead to a demise of your friendship, as many roommates can attest that the smallest of issues become catalysts for much more. He may be acting out against your girlfriend's presence, in which case an honest discussion is necessary. If you've overstepped the rules by inviting your girlfriend to live there, be honest about that too. See if talking helps the situtation, and if not, start looking for apartments for you and your girlfriend.

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Re: Bethesda area: I, too, was in the same situation last year. There didn't seem to be any good apartments that were not too expensive. Nice ones usually cost too much and inexpensive ones are not in the best neighborhoods. I live in the "new" downtown Silver Spring and like it a lot. There will likely be several apartment buildings in your price range.

Sara Gebhardt: Reader comment.

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Arlington, Va.: I live in a small apartment building. Recently tenants moved in the apartments are above me who are very noisy (late-nightloud TV and music, loud voices, no rugs to quiet footsteps, etc.) I've appealed to the landlord several times, who has spoken to the tenants but the noise continues unabated.

I don't want the landlord to come to see me as the problem so I'm reluctant to complain to him any further. What other options do I have? I've spoken to the new tenants directly and they did not seem to think they were the least bit culpable. Should I visit with other tenants in the building to see if they have similar frustrations with the new tenants' noise levels and ask them to call the landlord? I would think that getting other tenants to affirm my complaints would make the landlord take the situation more clearly. Do you or the other chatters have any other ideas? I'm really missing my heretofore uninterrupted sleep!

Sara Gebhardt: Yes, surveying other residents is a good way to figure out if you're complaints are warrented. If they are, you can urge them to complain as well, and hopefully management will view the problem more seriously. Until then, invest in some good earplugs.

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College Park, Md.: What would you say is the first thing (other than location) to look for when shopping around for an apartment?

Sara Gebhardt: Attractive neighbors? Oh, there are so many things to look for beyond location. Happy residents, safety, rent, accessibility to work. Generally everybody has an opinion about some facet of apartment life. Think about what type of living situation has made you happy in the past and what is most important to you now. I think asking tenants of potential buildings about their opinions helps a lot in figuring out if you could really live in a place.

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Laurel, Md.: I just moved into an apartment in Laurel. Everything is great, but this week I noticed that in the bedroom I can hear everything going on in my neighbors' bedroom. So far, this has only meant that I heard the man get up last night, saying he couldn't sleep. I realized just how much I could hear, when the sounds of the sheets being moved could be heard in my room. WHAT CAN I DO to abate the noise? And what can I do that is affordable?

Sara Gebhardt: My last column dealt with this issue. Beyond changing the wall structure (which you can't, really, since you don't own the place and it's wildly expensive), you can place furniture along the wall area where the most noise seeps through. Any extra barriers will help reduce the sound transfer from apartment A to apartment B. Remember, he hears everything you do too...

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Va. vs. Md. vs D.C.: There is a whole host of issues other than rent price when considering a move into D.C. one - voting and respresentation . . . you no longer have a senator who can vote. parking - while it can be a bear in the 'burbs, parking in the city has its own special charm. taxis - whoever thought of the zone taxi system shoud be keelhauled. you get where I'm going. but - as a city lover who is hoping that a new job comes through and ends up moving me INTO D.C. - I'm all for you guys staying in the 'burbs until I find MY new home.

Sara Gebhardt: I knew everyone would surely have an opinion. Even if your vote doesn't count in the District... it counts here.

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Temple Hills, Md.: To the poster looking for own apartment on 40K a year: I've made substantially less than that since I've lived in this area, and I've always had my own place. Try southern P.G. county (bottom of the green line). I pay about $650 a month for a large one bedroom, all utilities included, easy walking distance to the metro.

Sara Gebhardt: Good idea.

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Re: Girlfriend moving in: 1. Did you ask your roomie BEFORE she moved in or just assume all would be well
2. Are you each now paying 1/3 of everything or are you and she paying half. that wouldn't be fair.
3. Passive aggressive behavior seems childish, but is it really that your roomie's behavior has changed or is your g'friend just more sensitive to the mess/etc. than you are and you are noticing b/c she has pointed it out.

Sara Gebhardt: Love #3.

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Md.: As a landlord, I would have a problem if the renter abandoned the place. There are insuRance issues to consider (my policy reads that the place must be an occupied property). Just getting the check cashed isn't the only thing.

Also, even if you are paying - if the landlord finds out that you have legally abandoned the place (moving out and changing addresses with the post office can, I believe, be construed as abandonment), they might be able to re-rent the place. They can't double dip, but you might lose out on the apartment if the new digs don't work out.

Sara Gebhardt: The house-searcher may need to talk to his/her landlord before leaving for an extended stay.

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Miami, Florida: I'm renting out a room in my condo, and the only qualified suitor I like happens to be VEGAN--you know, no meat, no dairy, no fun. I'm a sassy lady who gets her protein from late night pizza and cheeseburgers as opposed to soy shakes and veg eats. Do you foresee a problem if he moves in???

Sara Gebhardt: Hey Miami Mami,
I foresee a big problem, unless you have two refrigerators, two sets of dishes, two dining room tablesl, etc. But it doesn't sound like you keep kosher or are likely to be halfway into the vegan kitchen conversion. If you can't get over the differences between soy shakes and cheeseburgers, I say keep looking for a roommate. I'm all for the melding of differences, but living together may be a little too much if you don't know from wheatgrass pizza.

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South Arlington (lovely this time of year): So Ms. Sara, what does one do when one's roommate has a significant other who takes up ample room on the couch and wields significant control of the remote? Hypothetically, of course.

Sara Gebhardt: One should definitely go to the store and buy a universal remote. Then put on your best game face and fight for control while sprawling on the couch to the best of your ability. I know you can do it.

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Re: Upstairs Neighbor: I would suggest making sure you are targeting the right neighbor. We recently had someone move in upstairs and she has accused us (in an unsigned letter) of playing music so loudly it knocks her plants over. We don't know who she is or exactly where she is to talk to her about it, but we know its not us. We weren't even home some of the nights she listed. It seems doubtful to me that the you would hear the people upstairs playing music or listening to their tv.

Sara Gebhardt: Tips for the poster with loud neighbors.

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Md.: Having grown up there, I feel obliged to point out there is a reason that Southern P.G. County (at the end of the green line) is cheap. While not all of it is awful, there are many many many parts which I wouldn't consider safe for a single female living alone. IMHO, only, of course.

Sara Gebhardt: Naturally, everyone's got a different opinion. Just because a place is affordable doesn't mean someone should abandon the rest of their checklist. Definitely spend time at a prospective apartment complex and make sure it is what you want.

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No interest in moving to D.C.: I moved to Northern Va. as a child and have never had any interest in moving to the big city.

All I have to do is hop on metro.

I'm now ready to look for a condo and hope to remain in the area. OK, I guess that makes me a stick-in-the-mud!; To each his own!;

Sara Gebhardt: Another opinion about D.C. living.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Do you know of many people who have moved from D.C. to Baltimore and still commute to work in D.C.? Our rent in Silver Spring is set to go up again (13% last year) and I'm really fed up with the D.C. housing market. Is rent much lower in Baltimore, is the commute to D.C. awful, etc.? Any insight you can provide would be appreciated. Thanks!

Sara Gebhardt: Yes, I do know plenty of people who commute from Baltimore to D.C. It's a choice between convenience and rent prices. Generally, you can get some really good deals in Baltimore, and people I know who do it have good experiences with the daily commute on the train. They have gotten used to spending a long time commuting, which is necessary if you were to do such a thing.

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Iowa City, Iowa: I'm a college student, who due to circumstances with our current landlord, is being forced to move into a one-bedroom apartment next year. I found a new place that seems perfect, but the lease stipulates "no overnight guests" between the hours of 1 am and 7 am. All overnight guests must be registered with the landlord and I must pay a $15 fee per person per night. Is this legal? If I have friends stay the night without informing the landlord, what are the possible ways she could find out?

Sara Gebhardt: Hi Iowa City. Landlords are allowed to make the rules as they see fit. I wrote about this in a past column:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A48198-2003Oct31¬Found=true

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Rosslyn, Va.: As someone who has lived on both sides of the river, I get so tired of the whole suburb-slamming debate. Living in D.C. has its perks and drawbacks, and Virginia has its perks and drawbacks. It all just depends on each person's individual situation and what they're looking for. I loved living in a small studio apt in the city near all the bars and restaurants. Then I got to a point where I was no longer interested in going out 4 nights a week, I wanted more space, I was sick of spending hours looking for parking every night, and I wanted to walk my dog at 2am without the fear of being mugged. The point is, it's useless to make generalizations about which jurisdiction is better because it just depends on each person's preferences and life situation.

Sara Gebhardt: Ah, you put it so well. I agree with you. I too have lived in both situations. Both have plusses and minuses and are a matter of personal preference.

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Chantilly, Va.: To the person looking for a reasonable 1 bedroom on 40K-I did it by finding a condo to rent v. an apartment. Condo owners often charge less than market rates and many condo buildings have in-house maintenance so it's just like an apartment building. Many condo buildings also own some of their units and rent them. I lived in Van Ness, but I know people who have found some in Rosslyn and other areas near a Metro.

Sara Gebhardt: I'm not sure if this is true across the board, but obviously if you find the right condo owner, you might get a better deal. Same with smaller apartment buildings, where landlords might be more flexible with their rent prices.

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Los Angeles, Calif.: For the poster concerned about noise - definitely figure out who it is before confronting them or leaving a note. After knocking on the next-door and downstairs neighbors' doors late one night, we figured out the music was coming from two floors up! Very embarrassing. Also, if you live in a large, professionally managed building, there may be a "courtesy officer" on duty overnight who can help you deal with this issue.

Sara Gebhardt: Noise advice.

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Md.: I rent out my federal hill (Baltimore) house (800 sq feet) with 2 bdrm and 1 bath for $1150 a month. Add in the commuting costs to D.C. (about $200/month on marc not including parking). You do the math.

Sara Gebhardt: For the person thinking about moving to Baltimore.

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Vegan=no fun??!: I am a vegan and don't impose my dietary habits on others (aside from not cooking meat for them...) I don't see what it should be a problem unless they are as militant about their veganese as you seem militant about your carnivore lifestyle.

Actually, I don't know whether I would want to live with a militant carnivore, though. My dietary choices make things difficult enough without having to feel like I need to justify what I eat while at home.

Sara Gebhardt: Exactly. Chances are a militant carnivore and a vegan would not do well together in sharing a kitchen or a refrigerator. But obviously, we can all get along.

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Ex-vegan: Why not just tell the vegan that you eat/cook meat/dairy in the condo. If he doesn't mind, who cares? As an ex-vegan, I can honestly say I didn't give an -expletive- about what my roommates ate or didn't eat, and they left my habits similarly alone. It's not that big a deal.

Sara Gebhardt: Thanks for this. Like many of these questions, I suspect there's more to the carnivore's story. Sounds like he/she has a grudge against vegans, and that's not a good situation, even if the vegan is given fair warning.

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Falls Church, Va.: RE: Girlfriend Moving In - Original Poster

I did ask my roommate about my girlfriend moving in and he said, "I don't have a problem with her moving in." His answer was honest (or seemed to be at the moment). We each are splitting the utilities and rent down the middle. I made sure each person would be carrying their own weight. I do agree that his behavior is weird. My girlfriend isn't that sensitive to his behavior but we both sense some tension.

Sara Gebhardt: Okay, so go with the discussion and see what happens. Good luck.

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B'more to D.C.: Oh, and the value of the house has (literally) more than tripled in the past 5 years. There's aren't too many "deals" left here.

Sara Gebhardt: I think the person was asking about renting in Baltimore, in which case, there are definitely deals.

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Md.: Curious as to what the peanuts think. The whole SO issue seems to strike a chord. Personally, I drew the line when my roommate wanted to give his SO a key so she could come and go as she pleased. I also had issues with her being at home when he wasn't (unless he just ran out for something). I guess I just want her to act like a guest and not a tenant. She's cool and everything, but I don't like her adjusting the temperature, asking me to clean up something, or basically just acting like she had a vested interest in the place. What do you think?

Sara Gebhardt: I think the original renters/roommates need to discuss giving out keys and rules about significant others spending time at the apartment before signing a lease together. I really think these are the kind of issues that people lose friendships over and that make living uncomfortable for one, if not all, of the parties involved. Ground rules should be established and then followed. Roommates always need to respect one another.

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Living in Baltimore: I live right outside Baltimore in Arbutus and drive to Gaithersburg everyday. I pay $800 a month for a two bedroom townhouse. Not the biggest townhouse but it's a heck of a lot more space than what I'd get for the same $$$$ in Montgomery County. The drive isn't so bad, but it helps that I can carpool. But I definitely don't spend in gas enought to justify moving and paying higher rent near work.

Sara Gebhardt: Another opinion about Baltimore.

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Prince George's County: Sara,
Have you written about rats in apartment complexes? I'm wondering what my rights are... Do I have to deal with the vermin or is it my landlord's job?

Sara Gebhardt: I have written about rats. A landlord's duty is to keep a buliding safe and habitable. This means that he/she should deal with the vermin in question. To access my old columns, find the link on the Real Estate site, under renting.

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Houston, Texas: I'm a young single woman, are there any things I should look out for while shopping for apartments? First floor? Third floor? Garden style or enclosed buildings? Thanks.

Sara Gebhardt: Make a list of your personal preferences and then identify buildings. If you're worried about safety, typically the consensus is to live above the first floor. You might also want to check out crime statistics and security on site, as it seems that this is your major concern. Some buildings have controlled access, and garden style or high-rise is a matter of preference.

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Sara Gebhardt: Sorry I couldn't get to all of your questions today. Hopefully you'll all tune in next month when I reappear. Anybody--vegans, Baltimoreons, Virginians, carnivores, roommates, couples who live with roommates, a really intelligent cat--with further comments or questions can email me, as usual, at gebhardts@washpost.com. Thanks for stopping by.

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