Life Is No Life to Him That Dares Not Die

In March 2003, Staff Sgt. Jacob Frazier, serving with the 169th Air Support Operations Squadron, died when four gunmen on motorcycles ambushed the reconnaissance unit with which he was traveling. In April 2002, Jerod Dennis, a member of the 3rd Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment out of Fort Bragg, N.C., was on patrol with other soldiers when they drove into an ambush by rebel fighters.

"A lot of time in football, the analogies with war are thrown about," said Kendall. "They talk about soldiering on and that sort of thing. Today you see how hollow that is."

Tillman would no doubt suggest that we grieve equally for Staff Sgt. James D. Mowris. And Staff Sgt. James D. Scott. And Sgt. Danton K Seitsinger. And Sgt. Benjamin L. Gilman. And Sgt. Nicholes D. Golding. And Staff Sgt. Anthony S. Lagman. And Sgt. Michael J. Esposito, Jr. All killed.

He would probably wish us to realize that outfits continue to rotate in and out of Afghanistan, and the war is not over there. The focus, understandably and for good reason, has been on Iraq. But there has been a real war going on in Afghanistan also, and while it might be "small" on the current relative scale, down at the squad, platoon, and company and battalion level it all tends to look pretty much the same, and the Pat Tillmans of the world are out there at the tip of the spear.

As perfect strangers we can only guess why a star athlete would give up a $3.9 million NFL contract for the infantry life. But perhaps it was a simple decision. Perhaps Tillman felt what Wilfred Owen did in 1917, when he returned to the war after being wounded in heavy fighting on the Somme.

"My nerves are in perfect order," Owen wrote his mother. "I came out again in order to help these boys; directly, by leading them as well as an officer can; indirectly, by watching their sufferings that I may speak of them as well as a pleader can."

A friend of Tillman's from the Arizona State athletic department spoke with him on April 1, shortly before he left Fort Lewis, Wash., for Afghanistan. Tillman did what guys operating with Special Forces do, he issued only the most laconic description of how and what he was doing. He had been to the Middle East for several months once already, and now he was about to ship out again. "We're pretty busy around here right now," he said.

What Tillman's friends did learn was that Tillman no longer considered himself a football player. He was thinking seriously of reenlisting and of making the military his career. He aspired to be an officer. He wanted, he said, to lead Rangers.

"I, too, have dropped off fear -- Behind the barrage, dead as my platoon, And sailed my spirit surging, light and clear. Past the entanglement where hopes lay strewn."

-- Wilfred Owen, killed in action, 1918, five days before the armistice.