Now Playing, Seven Moore Minutes

A PRAYER TO AFFLICT THE COMFORTABLE (NOT INCLUDING MICHAEL MOORE). We implore, Most Merciful One, just as You turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt, that You turn the rich -- all the rich except Michael Moore -- into paupers and homeless, wiping out their entire savings, assets and mutual funds, except in the case of Michael Moore.

-- "Stupid White Men," p. 234

(with a few words added)

CUT TO:

INTERIOR. BURGER KING.

Michael Moore rising, picking up his tray. He takes his tray to the trash can, empties it, drops it on top.

CUT TO:

MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS

Eric Idle singing "The Money Song" and dancing on a desk.

IDLE: There is nothing quite as wonderful as money / There is nothing like a newly minted pound.

You can keep your Marxist ways, /For it's only just a phase, /For it's money, money, money makes the world go 'round.

EXTERIOR. BURGER KING.

Michael Moore coming out the glass doors. He lifts up his cap, scratches his head.

NARRATOR (voice-over): What was he thinking? Michael Moore was thinking: If I get any richer, dude, I'll have to become a Republican.

SCREEN CLOCK READS: 12:48 P.M.

FADE OUT

Author's e-mail:

levingstons@washpost.com

Steven Levingston is an editor in the Post's financial section. In the late 1990s, he wrote a business satire column for the Boston Globe.