Career Track Live

The Washington area is a magnet for smart, ambitious young workers. Post columnist Mary Ellen Slayter writes a regular column for these professionals who are establishing their careers locally, and offers advice online as well.

The transcript follows below.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Mary Ellen Slayter: Good afternoon! Hope you are all doing well.

After my hour of quality time with you guys, I'll officially be on vacation back in my home state of Louisiana. I think we need a campaign to make Mardi Gras a federal holiday. Stress levels in this country would plummet ...

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Washington, D.C.: I was recently on the phone with someone from a company that has expressed interest in my candidacy for an opening with them. It has been about five weeks since we initiated contact, which thus far has been limited to telephone interviews. Toward the end of my most recent conversation, I asked whether or not they would be interested in my coming to their offices for face-to-face interviews. This person answered with some annoyance in his voice that I would have to "be patient," and they would "get back to me." I did not think that my question was too forward or pushy, but his voice made it sound that it was. I am lying low now, figuring that any more contact from my side is a bad tactic. After five weeks of phone conversations, was my question in line, or was it out of line? I am left puzzled and wondering at this situation.

Best regards,

A confused reader

Mary Ellen Slayter: Were they "phone interviews" or just casual chats about the job? Be difference. If they were the latter (and I suspect they were since they dragged on for five weeks), I can see why you might have come across as pushy. You just have your wires crossed. I'd just chill for a while. They know where to find you.

Wow, job hunting is really not so different from dating.

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Alexandria, Va.: I appreciate any advice. I would like to relocate to California. I hate hate hate living here (I'll be 36 in a few weeks and have been here since I was 5).

Because I the job market is still volatile even for college grads, and I am still an undergrad student, I thought I would apply to California colleges as a transfer student and then
look for a job when I'm out there (I am a program analyst/senior executive level admin. so I don't think it will take too terribly long) I plan to move next year so I can have saved 10 - 15 thousand dollars, and depending on what aid I can get to cover living expenses.

I wanted to know if anyone has relocated via college and what the experience was like.

Thanks a lot.

Mary Ellen Slayter: I guess the issue is how your credits will transfer and whether you can afford out-of-state tuition, but if you are really miserable here, I don't see why you don't transfer.

Any advice, chatters?

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Arlington, Va.: I was recently laid off from my job due to loss of government contract. I'm now searching for a job with good benefits in the Arlington area. I have a security clearance in the works, but has not been issued. My question is... if you are laid off while your clearance is in process, will the process stay active?

Mary Ellen Slayter: we sometimes have a DOD lurker in the chats. Maybe she or he is out there today to answer this ...

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Arlington, Va.: I have been working for a large (primarily) defense contractor for about 7 months and have found that my job isn't providing much in the way new skills, but the benefits and salary are great. What's the protocol on looking and applying to other positions within my company at this stage? Would hiring managers take me seriously?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Wait until you've been there for a year before you start looking for other jobs. Spend the next few months thinking about what it is you'd like to do, and start putting out feelers and networking in the appropriate department.

It would help if I knew how old you were and what kind of work you're doing now.

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Queens, N.Y.: Hi Mary Ellen -

My boss perennially tries to turn me into her administrative assistant (I am hired as a technical position, but am the only staff member that she supervises in any capacity.) Last week, I had laryngitis and was out a few days. As I only had strained vocal chords but was not contagious, I came in one day while I still couldn't talk (they have very strict reasons for taking sick leave - even if it is obvious I cannot talk and just needed to rest my voice, they would not accept another day of absence without a doctor's note.)

So I came in and e-mailed her and several other colleagues about not having a voice, stating e-mail was the best way to communicate in the meantime. Most people were very nice about it. She said to me that she wanted me to make some phone calls for her (not my job even with a voice).

Since I was silent and couldn't talk... I had time to think things over. I need to tell her to stop farming off her phone calls to me (a lot of which deal with my returning calls to higher-ups because she is avoiding them.)

This puts me in a bad situation, as usually the higher-ups are aggravated with her due to her missing a deadline. Since I did not receive the original voicemail or phone call, I do not know what topics were brought up to my boss that need addressing and don't feel equipped to handle things in a timely and informative manner.

She needs to make her own phone calls. How do I nicely and professionally let her know that? Is it appropriate for me to just say "I don't believe it is in my job description to do that for you?" Any advice at all -- or tales from other people who successfully handled a similar situation -- is appreciated. Thanks.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Just tell her. Assertively but politely. Don't resort to "not in my job description." That makes you sound lazy. Instead, tell her: 1. It's affecting your ability to do your job to the best of your ability; 2. You think important information is getting lost through this relay method of communication; and 3. That you will happily support her request to higher ups that she needs at least a part-time assistant.

After that, stick to your guns. No phone calls.

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Springfield, Va.: Not DOD, but my company's facility security officer... if an employee here leaves while his/her clearance is in the process of investigation, I have no choice but to terminate the investigation because they are no longer employed. If said clearance was already granted, it would be a 24-month period in which it could more easily be reinstated if your poster found new employment, but since it was in process, I would think they cancelled the investigation. Just my honest opinion.

Mary Ellen Slayter: I suspected as much. Thanks!

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Washington, D.C.: What's the best way to locate reputable headhunters in smaller areas? I'm trying to relocate to a fairly small Midwest community, and all my D.C. standard networking skills (info interviews, mining every contact I have, etc.) are failing miserably. There's love involved, so I've considered just quitting and moving, but that doesn't seem wise either. I'd like to try the headhunter route, if possible. But how do you find the good headhunters versus just the glorified temp. firms?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Get the phone book for the town you're trying to move to. "Employment services." In smaller cities, temp agencies and recruiters tend to be one and the same. You might also want to make some visits to investigate your options and apply to a few places directly.

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Arlington, Va.: Is it ever ok to "settle"? I like my company, have great coworkers, but I'm just plain uninterested in my job field - don't get me wrong, I still do a good job, but my heart's not in it.

But that said, the salary/benefits are great, and handy right now (trying for baby, just bought first house). I know this is probably a question I need to answer for myself - but do you think it's ever ok to settle?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Depends on what you're settling for. Sounds like you have it pretty good. Stop fretting and enjoy!

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Vienna, Va.: Hello! I graduated with a BA in May, and ever since then I've been temping. I'm having the hardest time finding a permanent job, even though I've applied to about 60 entry-level jobs -- including government agencies -- all of which I'm more than qualified to do. What are some common mistakes made by postgraduates in regards to finding work? I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. Thank you!

Mary Ellen Slayter: Does your temp agency know you are looking for a permanent job? Any of the particular companies where you're temping?

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Burke Virginia: I am currently working in a job which is comfortable, nice people, good pay, convenient, but is not very challenging these days. It also doesn't permit me to meet many new people since I work with mostly women.
I'd like to pursue a more challenging opportunities -- how should I start?
I am a nurse case manager.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Women aren't people? Who knew ...

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RE: New employee at defense contractor: At my company, one guy transferred after only a month on the job. Internal transferring really depends on the company & culture. Some places encourage and others frown upon it. Take some time to determine what kind of company yours is. In the meantime, why don't you ask your manager about taking training classes, etc. as part of your "professional development." Can't hurt to ask!

Mary Ellen Slayter: You're absolutely right about the culture issue, and also about asking for training opportunities in the current job. That's why I wondered how old the person was/what kind of job they were doing. Seven months is really not that long on a job, and a lot of recent grads are too quick to jump ship before they've really gotten a handle on the place they already work.

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Washington, D.C.: Hi!

This might not be the right forum for discussion on this matter but it is job-related!

So I work in a cubicle office setting - the reality of dc office life... and I have this cubicle neighbor across from me my desk looks directly onto his. I don't know how to deal with this but he farts at his desk in front of his computer! Literally, he'll shift himself from his seat and let a duck-quaking one out with regularity.

It's an obvious sound and even though I bought this terrific, jasmine-smelling room aromatherapy odorizer for my cube which makes my space smell like a spring bouquet, it's so DISTURBING!

How should I judiciously confront him? He doesn't have any known medical conditions for flatulence, but I'd like to be delicate in handling this.

Thanks!

Mary Ellen Slayter: Oh my. The thing about gas is that everyone has it; most of us just also have the manners to walk away from other people before releasing it ...

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RE: "Settle" question: This is a topic that the D.C. urban moms group likes to discuss. It's really hard to have ambition and career while raising small children. A lot of us were raised to believe that we can do it all. Reality is quite different. It's important to recognize your priorities and focus on what's most important to you. Which it sounds like you're already doing...

Mary Ellen Slayter: Very, very true. People only have so much energy to go around. The first few years of raising a kid are so time-consuming that a job that you liked, that paid well and had good benefits, but didn't demand a lot of you during that time would be just about perfect. It's OK to coast on that front sometimes. That's something that you work very hard to get the right to do, and it's absolutely not the same as "settling." Priorities shift.

"Settling" to me is when your job makes you miserable, doesn't pay as much as you need for the minimum lifestyle you want, and instead of doing something about it, you just wallow.

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San Francisco, Calif.: I think the poster who wants to relocate to California posted on Kenneth Bredemeir's chat as well, and another D.C. poster said San Fran. was a great place to look for work. Here's some info. on working and living in this area: First of all, take a look at the GS pay scale. As a GS-12, if I were to move back to D.C., I would take a $5,644 pay cut. Secondly, talk to people about where the housing is that is "affordable". I pay $500 more for 115 less square feet of space then what I paid when I lived in Alexandria, and that Alexandria apartment is now only $300 more than it was when I lived there. My current place is almost half the space of the apartment I had in Adams Morgan, which I believe rents now at the same price as what I pay here. Affordable housing (meaning that you can save a tiny bit each month) in this area means a BART commute of an hour, with most likely a half hour bus ride to and from the BART station. And as for buying a house -- the Chronicle just reported that sales of million-dollar homes grew 73% last year. A three-bedroom, 1.5 bath home, listed last year for $995,000, sold for $1.4 million -- and the house sold in 1998 for $445,000. Another absurdity: last month, a 370 square foot home in North Beach (the area around Coit Tower) sold for $445,000. So don't just rely on online rental listings to assume the cost of living here is the same as D.C.

As for tuition issues, the U.C. system, which by state constitution cannot charge tuition, instead charges outrageous fees. The cost for being out of state doubles the fees...

Mary Ellen Slayter: Thanks for sharing your experience. All important stuff to keep in mind.

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RE: Queens: Maybe it's just me, but delegating phone calls doesn't sound so much like an administrative assistant function, assuming the calls require a certain amount of knowledge, judgment, and responsibility... and they don't involve just relaying messages that the boss is scared to take on herself. I mean, yeah, it's wimpy, but you get a chance to put yourself in a position of authority... "We think that..." as opposed to "My boss says..." As long as she's not making you fax, photocopy, etc.

Mary Ellen Slayter: This sounds like simple relay to me, but I see your point.

I had a boss try to get me to make his photocopies several years ago when an admin person was sitting just a few feet from me--and so was the copy machine. I made them *really* badly. Like appallingly badly. I never got asked again. Passive aggressive? I suppose so, but it worked.

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RE: Farting cubicle neighbor: Thanks Mary Ellen,

Yes it's true everyone experiences gas now and then but how would I approach my colleague with the idea of at least getting up and taking a walk or something when the need arises?

I also have to say... I'm a kind of a shy, non-confrontational type of person too.

-cube dweller

Mary Ellen Slayter: Well, your choices are to assertively confront him about it, and be prepared for the awkwardness that will linger for some time. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) Or learn to live with it.

Maybe an e-mail that begins something like, "I'm not sure if you realize this ..."

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RE: Stay-at-home mom: Actually, my husband has a job he pretty much likes, but doesn't demand a whole lot of him - he works from home when he wants to - and when he does, there's a lot of down time - even when he's in the office. He comes and goes when he pleases, his boss demands very little from him and the bills are paid. He's a little disappointed at not being challenged, so he's going to be starting a new business soon, but take the rest and relaxation this job gives to help him do that. The biggest thing is we have a small son, and another on the way, and he's realized that his job allows him to spend more time with family, time he will never get back. So his career at this point is less challenging, and he's actually thankful for that...

Mary Ellen Slayter: Yep. I think that as more men embrace this line of thinking, the more family-friendly the office will get for moms and dads.

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Silver Spring, Md.: About lack of face-to-face... I have seen small publishing companies interview people mostly to spy upon the competition. That could be the case here. I would not speak to those folks over an office phone line, and would reveal as little as possible about the company. I even answered an ad that had been placed by a publisher to see if any of her own people were thinking of jumping ship! Fortunately, someone there who knew me found my resume and gave me some freelance work.

Mary Ellen Slayter: I hadn't thought of that!

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RE: Arlington -- clearance laid off: For the Arlington poster who was laid off before their clearance came through... I was in the exact same situation last year, working for a DOD contractor, waiting for my clearance to be granted, and then suddenly laid off. 2 months later I started a new position with a different DOD contractor, submitted another clearance application, which was approved (not just interim) within a week. Reason given: because I had previously submitted a clearance application with the former company.
Cross your fingers. Good luck.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Another take on the clearance issue...

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Boston, Mass.: I want to go abroad after my upcoming college graduation, for six months to a year preferably, more if it goes well. Not being wealthy, and wanting to "live" in another country rather than just travel through it, I'm planning to find some form of employment. It seems I'd be able to teach english or bus tables abroad without problems (I have friends who have done both), but I'm wondering if it's wise to try and find something more related to my career. Do you think it's possible to get real job experience while I'm abroad? And if I take a random position just to make money, will employers frown at the "vacation" they see on my resume once I return to the states?

Mary Ellen Slayter: Probably, but I doubt it will hurt you all that much. Take a class or two while you're gone, pick up some volunteer work, and make sure you don't spend ALL your time drinking and carousing.

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Alexandria, Va.: For the woman whose cubicle smells like a spring bouquet...

I don't really have an answer for your co-worker and his gas, but PLEASE make sure all of your other office mates are OK with your aromatherapy.

I like flowers, but those air fresheners send me into horrible allergy attacks, more than one of which has ended up with me in the emergency room.

Mary Ellen Slayter: hmmm. farts vs. aromatherapy. We’re hitting all the serious issues today.

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RE: San Fran. housing: I am the person who submitted to Kenneth's chat about SF being a good place to look for jobs. The person with the question and I were both high-level executive assistants. Those jobs pay very well in the Bay area - about $70,000 plus bonus. Much higher than in D.C. My apartment in D.C. was $1500 but my salary was only $50,000- I went to SF to look around and found larger apartments for only a little more (in good neighborhoods). When you take the higher salaries into account, I stand by my opinion that moving to SF is a viable option. I was offered a job last week that pays $80,000 and I will probably take it.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Clearly it depends on the job you get. I know admin assts. in D.C. who make close to 6 figures.

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RE: Queens poster: Oh yeah, she does try to make me fax and photocopy for her too. It actually takes longer for her to walk to my desk (across the department) and give me the item to be faxed/copied along with her fax/copy code than it would take for her to fax and copy for herself.

Mary Ellen Slayter: She's got some kind of entitlement thing going on then ...

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Anonymous: I actually am an admin. asst., whose boss constantly asked to do personal tasks for him. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he gave me money and asked me to pick up something for his wife's birthday and gift-wrap it. I know that she prefers tailored simple attire, so I purchased a pink and blue floral mixed with plaid pantsuit. He gave me a real funny look the next day, but never asked for a personal favor again.

Mary Ellen Slayter: This sounds very... 1957.

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Budapest, Hungary: What career options are there available to Hungarian citizens in D.C. (or the rest of the U.S.) outside of embassy work? I went to an American university and graduated with a degree in international marketing but I don't know how to (or if it is even possible to) find a job in my field in the D.C. area.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Sure there is. Embassy work is a very minor part of the work available here. Start applying for private sector jobs. If someone wants to hire you, you'll get a sponsor. The other option is to find companies that do business in the U.S. and Hungary.

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RE: Going abroad: Try the jet (Japan exchange and teaching program... you get paid, really interesting work/country, well organized, 1 yr stint with option to renew. It's hard to get employers to see this as really valuable, but it was an exciting 2 years for me and beats the corporate analysis I'm doing now!

Mary Ellen Slayter: I also know some folks who have done this. They loved it.

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Anytown, USA: No question or comments. Just a note to say have a great time in the Big Easy and think of us in our lil' ole cubes while you eat gumbo, King's cake, and dance in the streets.

Mary Ellen Slayter: Bring King Cake to work!

Thanks for all the great comments and questions. See you guys in two weeks.

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