Sports is all about money. But let's talk real moolah for a moment: Martha Stewart, despite her prison term last year, became a billionaire for the first time and, according to Forbes magazine, 14 of the world's 200 richest people live in California.
What does this tell us, sports fans?
| _____ Monday Morning _____
A look back at the weekend and a look ahead at the coming week's action with a fresh new edge.
• Norman Chad's Couch Slouch
• Starting Lineup
• The Chat: "The Howard Stern Show" sidekick Artie Lange.
• 7 Days
• The Review: Off-roading documentary "Dust to Glory"
_____ The Quote _____
"The curse of the Shaq-bino. That's what it is."
-- Shaquille O'Neal,comparing the Los Angeles Lakers' tumble since trading him to Miami to that of the Boston Red Sox after they sold Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees. _____ Monday Morning Poll _____
Note: This is an unscientific survey of washingtonpost.com readers.
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Rule No. 4 of Life in America: The bigger your boo-boo, the bigger your benefit.
Rule No. 7 of Life in America: Thar's gold in them thar Hollywood Hills.
Among my fellow Golden Staters, Kirk Kerkorian, Sumner Redstone, Charles Schwab, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg all made the billionaires' club. Me? I've got a Costco card.
Speaking of money -- and, by the way, Bill Gates remained the world's richest human for the 11th consecutive season with a net worth of $46.5 billion -- most other Americans need a little extra pocket change this time of year, so, as is our tax-week custom, we present an expanded $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway:
Q. You wrote recently that Phil Jackson will not return to coach the Lakers, but my sources say he might. What gives? (Donald May; Oakland, Calif.)
A. You have sources? What are you, rooming with Andy Katz? Heck, I don't have sources. I was just rendering an opinion sloppily formulated one night while watching "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" on Oxygen TV.
Q. Where does the NHL go from here? (Stephen Brophy; Sycaway, N.Y.)
A. If I were them, I'd drive up the Pacific Coast Highway, turn left at the Marie Callender's near the tree stump and enjoy the view from Big Sur.
Q. You act the part of a Couch Slouch, but I have a feeling you are in reality a jet-setting, dinner-partying, dance-clubbing lothario. How would you honestly characterize yourself, socially speaking? (Linda Kaye; Fond du Lac, Wis.)
A. At the moment, I am between marriages.
Q. Who is buried in Grant's tomb? (Pete Smith; Hoffman Estates, Ill.)
A. I'm not falling for that one again.
