Rejection Stings, Even in Cyberspace

Of course, not all disses are equal. Some daters agreed that a little white lie may be in order sometimes just to be nice. Covell wants to believe that her cyber sweetie really did meet someone.

"I think, 'Oh, this worked for somebody.' I have more respect for the guy. He's trying to commit to someone, even if he's in his underwear and e-mailing a bunch of other girls."

Others aren't so well-wishing. When Victoria Gold, 38, an office manager from the District, used that line, she got an e-mail back accusing her of skirting the truth. "Oh really?" it read. "Well, you sure spend a lot of time online for someone who has just met someone."

But the line that annoys Zigmond the most is "I'm taking a break from dating," which many agree has become the online equivalent of that offline cliche "It's not you, it's me."

"Taking a break? That's a cop-out. You still have your profile up!" exclaims Zigmond. "That says, 'I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm not interested either.' "

Before courtesy replies came along, daters had long argued whether online suitors even deserve a response at all. Some, like Terlena Murphy, 34, a grad student in business school from the District who's on Yahoo!, send out thoughtful, detailed rejections, thanking them for compliments and commenting on their profiles.

"It's the polite thing to do," she says. "I feel like what I put out there is what I'll get back. I want to put out good karma."

Others, like Gold, however, realize that the anonymity of the Internet means that you don't really owe anyone anything. More often than not, she ignores e-mails. "You haven't corresponded. You haven't met in person. There's no history to tap into so that this person emotionally deserves to know more," she says.

But stock rejections sting no less just because they're sent over the Internet. The fact that they're so impersonal may make them even worse, says Art Ramirez, assistant communications professor at Ohio State University.

"Now, we've got lovely rejection messages to take the uncertainty out of it, and I'm not so sure that's a good thing," he says. "In the truest sense, we're rejected. In the other way, it wasn't about 'me.' "