But she's on a fishing trip, her publicist informs me by e-mail. She's unreachable. In the woods somewhere.
I hope she has Deep Woods Off! I type back. (Hardy-har.)
(Katherine Frey For The Washington Post)
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Maybe she's doing research by getting bitten, he responds.
And what did I tell you about touching his cage?
So you went ahead and touched it anyhow?
Well, see? See what happens?
(That's about parrots, and 5-year-old boys, and small fingers, and mercurochrome.)
And then what'd you do?
Rubbed butter on it.
Rubbed ice on it, rubbed Cortizone on it, rubbed Caladryl all over it, and you got to eat a Popsicle on the couch and it still hurt like you wouldn't believe. It hurt all summer.
