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Remote Control Parenting

By Robert MacMillan
washingtonpost.com Staff Writer
Friday, March 18, 2005; 9:55 AM

America's parents are relying more than ever on software filters to block what their children can see on the Internet, according to a study published Thursday afternoon.

Fifty-four percent of families that have at least one teenager living at home and have Internet access reported that they use filters, up from just over 41 percent in December 2000, according to the report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. That translates to 12 million families now, compared to 7 million in 2000.

___About Random Access___
Random Access is a daily column by Robert MacMillan that explores the latest trends in technology and how they are changing daily life.

Random Access won't tell you why a new gizmo will revolutionize your ad server. It will tell you about episodes from daily life -- exasperated waiters who use blogs to vent about their customers, whole runs of salmon injected with nanoparticles for individual tracking in Norwegian fjords and the growing number of DJs who are sick of being sidelined in favor of iPods. (Only one of these stories is fake.)

Most of what you see will be culled from news sources and blogs from around the world, though we will supplement Random Access with original files on the novel, unusual, bizarre and reactionary happenings in the world of technology and society.

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In one observation that should please parents, the study found that only about a third of teenagers who use the Internet at home think their parents monitor their online activity, but almost two-thirds of parents who responded to the study said they check up on their children's activities after they have been online. Perhaps this should come as no surprise, but parents appear to trust boys a bit less than girls. According to the study, "Sixty-eight percent of parents of boys compared to 55% of parents of girls say they have checked to see what Web sites their child has visited."

The study also showed that parents who use Internet filtering software to police their children tend to be Internet users themselves, and that more moms (59 percent) report the use of filtering software than dads (49 percent).

The survey comes as parents, lawmakers and the Internet industry continue seeking ways to shield children from inappropriate online content. Past efforts to pass nationwide laws to restrict access to X-rated content online ran afoul of the Constitution, and a current law that would require Web site operators to find ways to keep children from visiting their sites is still awaiting judicial review.

The fact is, there are plenty of things to read, hear and see within easy reach online that parents might consider inappropriate for their children. More important is the danger posed by sex predators who use the Internet to run down underaged prey. News reports about the arrest of these predators is welcoming in the sense that they're getting caught, but also troubling because of the widespread danger that we see more clearly with each passing day.

When parents use filters, they are taking a necessary step that is part of a strong online defense. It includes, among other simple ideas, forcing kids to use the computer in a supervised part of the home like, say, the living room.

But the fact is that total supervision is impossible. Our parents couldn't stop us from sneaking smokes, joyriding or playing hooky when we were their wards. Just because the Internet is still an alien world to many parents, that doesn't mean the scenario is any different. Amanda Lenhart, the Pew study's author, said as much to me when I suggested that it wasn't such a news flash that 65 percent of parents and 64 percent of teenagers say that "teens do things online that they wouldn't want their parents to know about." The Internet, she said, is simply reflecting "the age-old conflict between parents and kids."

Here is one other item to consider about Internet filters. They certainly block inappropriate content, but it seems that some parents are relying on them a little too heavily. The San Jose Mercury News broke that angle out high up in its story about the Pew study, reporting that filtering use has increased while parents' personal efforts to monitor what children do have held steady. Lenhart told the Merc that filters are an in loco parentis tool for parents who can't be there to monitor their kids constantly.

With filters, we get protection -- to some extent. Some material will continue to slip through, and some material that shouldn't be blocked will be. In the end, no software can substitute for good old-fashioned parenting.


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