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The Style Invitational

Week 584: Deliver Us a Post

Sunday, November 14, 2004; Page D02

The new presidential term will undoubtedly bring about some shakeups in the federal bureaucracy, especially with the new post of national intelligence director. Loser Seth Brown of North Adams, Mass., suggests coming up with some new Cabinet or other positions that the president could establish, and describe the job responsibilities. First-prize winner receives the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. First runner-up gets a genuine souvenir from Transylvania, brought back by Elden Carnahan of Laurel and donated to The Invitational: a little cylindrical wooden soldier, painted green and wearing what looks like a large goblet on his head. Around his body is a sort of spool that, when you lift it, also lifts up a certain, disproportionately large part of the soldier. It gives a whole new meaning to the moniker Vlad the Impaler. Please, 10-year-olds, don't come in second place in the contest this week.

Other runners-up win a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets. One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.comor by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Nov. 22. Put the week number in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Dec. 12. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's contest is by Chris Doyle of Forsyth, Mo.


(Bob Staake for The Washington Post)

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DReport from Week 580, in which we asked you to combine the names of two countries and describe the hybrid land. Among the 1,300-plus entries, BRAzil and BurUNDI and HUNGary, among others, were used in too many names to count. Some Losers decided "two" meant "a long string of"; the best of their efforts were "Iraq + England + Chad + Ireland = Raqengchair, a country where everyone takes it easy" (Eric Murphy, Chicago) and "Israel + U.S. + El Salvador + Pakistan + Yugoslavia + Spain + Myanmar + Barbados + Libya = Is-U.S.-Or-Is-Yu-Ain-My-Ba-by, a country whose flag is in all the shades of blues" (Jack Cackler, Falls Church). A special blind T-shirt goes to Harvey Smith of McLean, who combined Central African Republic with Burkina Faso to produce a two-word country with a doubly unprintable name.

Third Runner-Up: India + Malawi = Inlaw, the world's least favorite honeymoon destination. (Robin Diallo, New Delhi)

Second Runner-Up: Vatican City + Suriname = Vatsuriname, where they haf veys to make you talk. (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, Pa.)

First Runner-Up, the winner of the Banana Guard: Madagascar + Libya = Madlib, the [adjective][noun] in the world. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

And the winner of the Inker:

Netherlands + Fiji = Netheriji: I don't know much about it; I've been warned since age 12 not to play with Netherijians. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

A Gazetteer of Honorable Mentions:

Isle of Man + Romania = Isle of Mania, a fractious country led by evil princes Klepto, Pyro and Megalo. (Stephen Dudzik, Olney)

Solomon Islands + Brazil: Solobra: Land of the Amazons. (Bob Hale, Bilston, England)

America + Norway = Amway, whose pyramid-building far surpasses Egypt's. (Christina Courtney, Ocean City, Md.; Richard Slavik, California, Md.)

Uzbekistan + Myanmar = Kismy, a perennially belligerent nation, often in disputes with NyaNya (Kenya + Chechnya) (Fred Souk, Reston; Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)

Costa Rica + Grenada = Costa Nada, the land of the free. (Richard Wong, Derwood)

Spain + Italy = Spitaly, where the first three rows in the National Opera come with complimentary ponchos. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Curacao + Dahomey = Curdaho, major exporter of penicillin. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Botswana + Kuwait = Botwait, corporate headquarters of Ginsu International and Ronco Worldwide. (Pam Sweeney, Germantown)

China + Angola = Chinola, which some folks can't tell from Chad + Italy. (Kyle Bonney, Fairfax)

Oman + Bolivia = Oblivia, the land that time -- and everyone -- forgot. (Russell Beland)

Bechuanaland + Samoa = Bechuanasamoa, where everyone weighs 300 pounds. (Steve Fahey)

Bahrain + Azerbaijan = Bahbai, flight attendants' favorite vacation destination. (Dave Komornik, Danville, Va.)

St. Lucia + Comoros Islands = Stcom, a tropical paradise: No matter what you do, it will all turn out okay in the end. (Erica Reinfeld, Somerville, Mass.)

Singapore + Northern Ireland = Singaporno, the largest exporter of X-rated musical videos, including "Damp Yankees," "Lay Miserables" and "Beauty and the Bestiality." (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Sudan + Honduras = SuUras, a miserable place inhabited entirely by lawyers. (Steve Fahey)

Cambodia + Cameroon = Dual Cam, a country whose government has a notoriously high overhead. (Russell Beland)

Mozambique + Barbados = Mozbar, where Homer, Barney and his friends escape to. (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)

Thailand + Cayman = Hyman, a country that, despite great pressure from its many friends and partners, has remained intact. (Russell Beland)

Falkland Islands + Virgin Islands = Island Islands. Why, what did you think I was going to come up with? (Jon Reiser, Hilton, N.Y.)

Brazil + Sierra Leone = Brasierra, home of the famous Twin Peaks. (Edward Roeder, Washington)

Germany + Guyana = Germanguy, the country with the world's smallest population. (Jerry Ewing, Orlando)

Morocco + Dominica = Moronica, a confederacy of dunces. (Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

Yugoslavia + Singapore = Yugosingapore, where there's a karaoke bar on every corner. (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.)

Brunei + El Salvador = BrunEl, a nation whose army has no offensive capability. (Bob Dalton, Arlington)

Ghana + Algeria = Ghaneria, where the whole country is under quarantine; informally known as Clapland. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia; Chris Doyle)

Uganda + Iraq = Uraq, where always is heard an encouraging word. (Elizabeth Chan, Fairfax Station)

Norway + Sri Lanka = Wayanka: Explorers have long known about this island, but never stayed around to settle it. (Brendan Beary)

Tuvalu + Sudan = Tudalu, a country whose people leave as soon as they can. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

Fiji + Haiti = Fijiti, the land with the highest per capita caffeine consumption. (Brendan Beary)

South Korea + Tuvalu = KorValu, a country that knows where its priorities lie. (Eric Murphy, Chicago)

Algeria + Egypt = Algypt, formerly known as Florida. (Peter Ostrander, Rockville)

Spain + Bermuda = Spainuda, a country with no unwanted pets. (Karen Bock-Losee, Washington; Brendan Beary)

Uruguay + Costa Rica = Urica: It's customary in this country to run naked through town after bathing. (Brendan Beary)

Grand Duchy of Luxembourg + Andorra = Duchdor, a semi-open country. (Russell Beland)

Djibouti + Madagascar = Boutigas, a country whose principal crop is beans. (George Vary, Bethesda)

Albania + Lebanon = Alanon, the world's driest country, consisting of 12 steppes. (Stephen Dudzik; Brendan Beary)

Dubai + Kenya = Dubya, where even the natives can't speak the language. (Jack Cackler, Falls Church)

Nauru + Madagascar = Nascar, ruled by a regime that always turns toward the left. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Slovakia + Poland = Slopokia, the country that's never qualified for the Olympics. (Chris Doyle)

Russia + Rumania = RuRu: Not the sort of place you want to visit. (RuRu Beland)

Marshall Islands + Sweden + France = Shallwedance, a romantic getaway. (Jane Auerbach)

Bosnia + Oman + India = Bozomandias: I met a traveler from this made-up land / Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Stand in the desert, balanced in the sand / In clown shoes of proportions overblown . . . (Brendan Beary)

Next Week: Evil Things in Store, or The Devil Is in the Retails


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