Shopping: Dressing Up for Summer Parties

Summer Party Fashion

Never mind official dates, we all know Memorial Day is when we start thinking about summer. Although the onslaught of cicadas has literally put flies in the ointment for outdoor parties, the show must go on for wedding and graduations - and for those who have been invited to these summer fetes.

If you're in a quandary about appropriate and stylish dress for that June wedding in New York or the graduation party of your nephew in Rockville, Washington Post fashion editor Robin Givhan and washingtonpost.com fashion and beauty editor Janet Bennett are here this afternoon to help.

Givhan and Bennet were online Tuesday, May 25 at 1 p.m. ET to discuss the latest fashion styles and trends.

The transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Janet Bennett: Welcome, everyone. We're here to talk about what to wear for all those summer parties. Since I see we've got lots of questions, let's start talking.

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Washington, D.C.: What would you take with you to wear when going to New York City for a weekend? Mainly what would you recommend for a 30-year-old female to wear in the evenings for dinner and drinks to cover a range of possible destinations?

Robin Givhan: Hi everyone! I hope folks have lots of fabu parties on their calendar.

From what I've noticed, the New York going-out uniform tends to be a pair of nice jeans, heels and a spectacular top. That will cover most all situations ranging from hipster restaurants to drinks. if you're doing anything mroe traditional, you might add a pretty summer dress - maybe something in cotton and strapless, for instance. i'd throw in jeans or cargo pants for walking around town

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Washington, D.C.: Hi, Robin,
Hoping you can provide guidance on shoes. I don't have issues with changing trends in clothes, as it is easy to find "trendy" low-cost options. However, shoes are a different story. Cheap shoes are almost always uncomfortable. So how does one go about investing in comfortable shoes ($100 and up) yet dealing with the change from kitten heel to thicker heel, pointy toe to rounded toe, etc? What styles are classic, or is there no solution to this problem?

Robin Givhan: Classic styles include the slingback with a pointed toe and a slim heel. Kitten heels are classic. The chunkier heel - in a mary jane style, for instance, is pretty standard. I'd avoid heels that seem to be very of-the-moment: severe wedges, platforms, needle heels, etc.

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Chicago, Ill.: Hi, ladies, I hope you can help me.

I need to know what to wear to a Sunday morning wedding at the end of August in Chicago, where the ceremony will be outdoors but reception indoors. It's bound to be steamy outside. What's a girl to do?

Thanks for your advice!

Robin Givhan: Depending on how you feel about your arms, I'd wear a sleeveless dress, preferably in a fabric such as cotton or linen which would be most comfortable in a swamp. I would not wear pantyhose. I would wear strappy sandals with a reasonable solid heel so as not to find myself puncturing the grass during the ceremony. And I'd bring along a lovely cropped cashmere cardigan for the indoor air conditioning. I'm not recommending that you spend thousands on a dress, but some of the styles from the Prada collection would be splendid. They are the classic day dress and have inspired other designers such as Banana Republic, BCBG, etc.

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Washington, D.C.: Dear Robin,

Do you think the smell of suntan lotion or bug spray is offensive at formal outdoor gatherings? Is it worth the effort to find fragrance-free alternatives? Robin Givhan: Frankly, I think anyone who has an outdoor wedding and who does not have the entire environment debugged should not be offended by the smell of bug spray and sunscreen. I would, however, avoid adding a layer a perfume to the whole thing. I think it is above and beyond the call of duty to find fragrance-free alternatives.

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McLean, Va.: If I wear a hat to an outdoor wedding that takes place in the late afternoon, should I leave it on through the reception, which lasts into the night?

Janet Bennett: Personally, I would take off the hat once the ceremony is over. Once evening sets in I think wearing a hat looks affected.

Robin Givhan: Ditto for me. I'd take it off as soon as I was out of the sun to limit the hat hair.

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Alexandria, Va.: Help, please. Where can a stylish, over-40 woman find attractive, yes, even sexy dresses? They seem almost non-existent, and almost none have sleeves. Preferably without breaking the bank? Fashionable minds want to know.

Janet Bennett: I feel your pain. This Saturday, I was hard pressed to find a dress that either a)wasn't sleeveless or b)didn't have a halter top. They seem perfect for women in their twenties and early thirties, but beyond that ... Robin??

Robin Givhan: I was in the new Bloomingdale's in Soho just this past weekend. I saw a very pretty Carmen Marc Valvo cocktail dress: black lace, fitted bodice, A-line skirt. Sexy in that Grace Kelly kind of way. It was around $500. But it was definitely timeless. Alas, it was sleeveless. Have you investigated lines such as Lafayette 148? or DKNy? I think there's lots out there, but the sleeveless issue, well, that's tricky. you may just invest in cute little shrug to wear with the sleeveless dresses.

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Washington, D.C.: Help!!! I just bought some fantastic white pants for summer cocktail parties, but I don't know what to wear with them (aside from white boxer-briefs). Can you tell me what sort of shoes I should try? The pants are fairly lightweight cotton, slim-fitted, with a crease. Thanks!!

Robin Givhan: Child?! You don't know what shoes to wear with white pants? Frankly, I can't think of any shoes that DON'T go with white pants. I wouldn't wear white, just to avoid looking like the good humor man. But here is an opportunity to indugle in fun, colorful summer shoes. Pink shoes, gold shoes, silver shoes, tan shoes, gray shoes, pick your shade of the rainbow.

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Washington, D.C.: What is the best way to place a sweater over the shoulders? I can never get it to look right.

Janet Bennett: Go see or rent an Italian movie. I've never seen anyone throw a sweater around their shoulders with more style than an Italian. Confidence, of course, is a crucial ingredient.

Robin Givhan: Go to the library. Dig through the photo archives of the Hillary Clinton senatorial campaign. Purge this idea of the sweater over the shoulders from your mind. Either put the sweater on, or carry it. And don't even think about tying it around your hips. Ignore this advice if your nickname is Buffy.

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HELP!: Hi, Robin. I love your columns (especially the irreverant ones; the Karen Hughes one in 2000 was hilarious). Anyway, I need advice. I'm going to a 6:30 p.m. (reception to follow) wedding in late June. I plan to wear black silk trousers, a black lace (delicate, not tacky) sleevless V-neck top, ivory-colored shantung mules and an ivory silk beaded bag. I may also wear a delicate pearl choker if it doesn't look too much. What do you think? Does it sound too severe? I'm a 34-year-old female, slim build, 5' 4", brown skin, long dark hair.

Thanks so much, Robin.

Robin Givhan: Black trousers, black top...WHITE shoes? ok IVORY?? I'm in full support of the pearl choker, but I cannot support white shoes with a matching bag. black shoes please, in peau de soie if you like. or something metallic. ivory sounds far, far, far too harsh.

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Falls Church, Va.: I have an interview this week for the first time in years, and with the temperatures in the high 80s, the standard interview dark-wool suit just won't work. I have a lovely salmon pink-colored silk-linen blend suit that I would be very comfortable wearing. The knee-length skirt has an inverted front pleat, and the jacket buttons up to a traditional collar (ie., no lapels) and it has a very 1950's-ish skinny belt that makes it look very sharp. My only doubt is the pinkish color. I tend to think since it's summer (pretty much) it will be okay. Your thoughts? Also, what shoes? I'm thinking my bone-colored Sabrina slingbacks with the 1-inch heel ...

Robin Givhan: I think the pink suit sounds lovely. Elegant, chic, smart and professional.

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Washington, D.C.: Help! I have my sister's graduation party to go to (in Michigan) in two weeks, then an afternoon wedding (in North Carolina) to go to two weeks after that. I'm thinking of this black strapless seersucker number from J. Crew, presuming that it looks good on. Is black too blah for a summery party (with cute strappy heels)? I'm kind of over the whole hot-pink trend, I'm not really into florals, and while white would be gorgeous, it scares me. Thoughts?

Robin Givhan: Loving the sound of black seersucker. sounds great. i don't think it's too blah for a summer party and you can jazz it up with metallic sandals or sandals with fun beading. white would be lovely, too, but then you'd have to drink nothing but club soda or white wine for fear of a cocktail debaucle.

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Washington D.C.: Hi, Robin Love your column! I'm a 30-ish female who moved here from San Francisco about 9 months ago. This may be a little off-topic but I have to ask. Where did the men in this town learn to dress? If I see one more guy in khaki slacks and a button down collar shirt I'm going to scream. They wear the same thing for work and casual wear. (Though for work they add one of those snazzy (ha!) navy blue blazers with the shiny buttons.) Don't these guys realize they look like a bunch of 14-year-old prep school boys? Do they all still live with their mothers, too? If I see one of these guys at a garden party I'm liable to push him in the pool. Please explain this bizarre phenomenon to a newcomer. Thank you.

Robin Givhan: Hi San Francisco. I used to live there. Loved it. Welcome to DC, land of business casual gone awry. The men, in general, are on a fashion learning curve. They're too busy either trying to save the world or rule it. Cut the do-gooders some slack. Feel free to malign the rest.

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Oxon Hill, Md.: Good afternoon, Ladies,

The clothes in my closet don't quite fit anymore; I've put off buying anything new until I reached my goal weight, which I have. Now that the summer is here I'm ready to go out and show my new figure to the world, but because I haven't been this size (10) in -- never mind -- I don't know where to start when it comes to showing off my curves. I was a size 16+ and all my clothes were frumpy and baggy.

This weekend I've been invited to a backyard barbecue, celebrating a friends child's graduation from high school. I want to look stylish, but I also want to be comfortable. Any suggestions on what I might look for when I go shopping in a few days?

Robin Givhan: Congrats doll! Rock on with your size 10 self. Go forth and buy cute strapless day dresses that come in such charming prints. perfect for a backyard barbecue or a graduation. A chic white line pantsuit with a halter worn underneath. fab. Buy dresses that show off your shape, look for ones that emphasize the waist for instance or show those legs if they're your best feature. I like the summer skirts with gentle pleats.

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Arlington, Va.: How can I convince my boyfriend that bright pink and yellow shirts and ties are not effeminate? I think he looks great in them. He tried a couple of shirts on and told me there's no way he'd ever wear either color.

Robin Givhan: If he's that averse to them he won't be comfy in them no matter what you tell him. go slow. maybe he'd wear a colorful tie with a white shirt. or maybe a shirt with colorful pinstripes.

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Arlington, Va: Do you think the Alexandra Kerry look at the recent Cannes Film Festival will catch on?

Robin Givhan: only among those who rent their work place by the hour.

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Arlington, Va. : I'm not sure what to wear when some girlfriends and I go to our first wine festival next month. Some in the group swear casual clothes (e.g. shorts) are fine since we'll be picnicking; others (myself included) are afraid if we don't wear crisp dresses we won't look very sophisticated compared to the other wine-tasters. Help us fit in!

Janet Bennett: I would vote for casual but neat. A sharp pair of shorts or cropped pants would be the way I'd go.

Robin Givhan: I'd vote for nice shorts or casual dresses or skirts. Nothing you'd wear to the gym or to walk the dog.

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San Diego, Ca.: Hi Robin, Men's question. I just moved to San Diego from D.C.. We have warm, sunny weather here for 11 months of the year. Is it OK to wear linen during winter months when it's 75 outside, or does the Memorial Day to Labor day rule still apply?

Robin Givhan: I will share what a chic woman in Florida once said to me. Even though it is 70 degrees in the winter it is still winter. She puts the overtly summery clothes away and wears darker colors. So I'm guessing she'd approve of black line...but not white.

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Maryland: Hi! I'm hoping you can help me for this weekend! I'm attending a wedding on Saturday that's called for 3 p.m. at a church with a dinner reception beginning at 5 p.m. I've been to many weddings, but almost all have been black-tie. This one isn't, and I don't want to come over-dressed, nor do I want to arrive under-dressed. I was thinking of maybe a tea-length dress with a shawl. Any other ideas? I have a black cocktail dress that's more fun than it is formal (not floor length) that I was thinking of pairing with a shawl (in a fun spirng color -- turquoise or pink) and then find matching sandles). Or is the black too dressy for this kind of wedding? HELP!!!!
Thanks for any insight!

Robin Givhan: Black is utterly versatile. I don't think it is automatically too dressy for the occasion. You didn't mention the actual dress code for this wedding. Since it's in a church, i like the tea-length dress idea. you could also wear a dinner suit, if you have such a thing.

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Alexandria, Va.: Hey guys,

I'm a 37-year-old male (in farely decent shape) who is interested in getting a nice Guayabera shirt. I intend to use it as a nice dress shirt to wear for a number of summer parties including a rehearsal dinner and down the shore. The problem is that I don' t see too many people wear them and I wonder if they are in style.

What do you think?

Robin Givhan: On the old trend-meter, the Guayabera shirt is, on a scale of 1 to 10, about a 3. They are not particularly fashionable.

That said, they are classic items. If you wear one, you will probably be alone in championing them, but you will be well within the boundaries of stylish attire.

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Washington, D.C.: I recently received an invitation to an engagement party, which will be thrown at a fancy venue. I'm not sure exactly how fancy the bash will be, but the invite specifies that the males should wear "coat & tie." How does this translate to the apparel women should wear? Any ideas?

Robin Givhan: Sounds like women should go dressy. And aren't women almost always more dressed up than men? i'd wear the same thing i'd choose if i were going to a nice restaurant for dinner.

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Sister of the groom: My brother is getting married in September in Virginia Beach. What to wear? The wedding will be Sunday wear for those who are going (suits and shorter dresses). Any thoughts? I have a turquoise wrap dress that's sleeveless that I love, but am wondering if the color will be too strong for a wedding.

On a different note, what is the perfect sandal for the summer? One that I can wear from work into the evening and one that will last?

Robin Givhan: i say the only color that could be considered too strong for a wedding is if you are the groom's ex-girlfriend and you arrive wearing a low-cut red dress.

and on that other note: there is no such thin as perfection in a shoe...you want a work shoe that is also an evening shoe? and a sandal? the closest i can come would be a black leather slingback, with a class narrow toe, and about a 2" heel.

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Rockville, Md.: Hi! I actually am going to a June wedding in New York City at the Rainbow Room. It's supposed to be very fancy. I'll be wearing a long, red dress but I am having a very hard time finding an appropriate color for shoes and a bag. Any suggestions? Black seems too dark and it's hard to find a matching red. Thanks!!

Robin Givhan: i assume that the wedding is black tie if you're wearing a long dress. unless you are in the wedding, i would not go for the dyed to match shoe look. a strappy black shoe would not be too heavy as there would be more foot - with a great pedicure - than leather on display. you might look at gray, or metallic gold or depending on the kind of girl you are, you could wear fuchsia sandals. i could envision a red sandal, but it doesn't have to be the same shade of red. a darker shade would be just fine.

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Rockville, Md.: I'm hosting a graduation party for my son this weekend. We are having it catered and are expecting 60 guests. My wife says a tie and jacket will be too formal (not to mention hot!). Any recommendations? I am thinking a button-down Ralph Lauren long-sleeve business casual shirt paired with flat-front khakis and and brown tasseled loafers. What do you think? Many thanks.

Robin Givhan: I think your choice of button-down and the flat front (yahoo!) khakis sounds wonderful. you could also wear a jacket, but no tie, the same trousers and polo shirt. or if you have a nice summer sweater - something in line, say - you could wear that with the trousers. bottom line: i'm thoroughly against the tie for a graduation party. this is the release valve on all the preceeding pressure to perform. your guests, i'm sure, don't want to feel compelled to wear a tie and they will take their cues from you.

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Wedding attire: When did black for women become acceptable to wear for weddings? I thought that you are only supposed to wear colors because black is too funereal? Growing up I never saw a woman in black (I'm 27). Can I specify that people not wear black to my black-tie wedding next summer?

Thank you!

Robin Givhan: Black became acceptable wedding attire in 1981. ( i'm just kidding.) black was generally not worn because it can look funeral, however, it is a long way from wearing a black cocktail dress to looking like you're in mourning. also, many wedding parties include bridesmaids who wear black dresses. i think black looks chic, especially at a formal wedding or an evening wedding.

i think you can tell guests whatever you like, but i also think you should be prepared for many of them to whisper that you have a bad case of bridal obnoxiousness.

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Vienna, Va.: I have to travel internationally for work on a regular basis, particularly to developing countries. I wonder if you could develop up an article about facing this kind of challenge. There are a bunch I can think of. For instance, in some nations it's verboten to show any neck (Muslim nations) or any leg (some African countries). Some nations are very driven to formal business dress (e.g., Colombia) while others--even nearby are not (Venezuela). There's also the challenge of packing light, yet appropriate for a trip that takes you to both the Northern and Southern Hemispheres (winter and summer, say). And finally, dealing with customs searches can be interesting(on a trip to Africa, I brought a box of hair relaxers to a friend and the customs agent held me up for an hour trying to figure out why it would be in the hands of a straight-haired woman)!

Thanks!

Janet Bennett: Sounds like a good idea for a story. Robin?

Robin Givhan: interesting thoughts.

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Washington, D.C.: I've been wearing my butter linen pants and my khaki linen pants since the beginning of May. It's been a scorching month, and I say if it feels like summer and looks like summer, linen is OK, even before Memorial Day, is it not?

Janet Bennett: No white before Memorial Day, no white after Labor Day, old saws that you should pay no attention to. Linen is perfectly appropriate now.

Robin Givhan: i agree.

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Washington, D.C.: I'm meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time at his cousin's wedding in upstate New York. I can't get a straight answer out of anyone about how fancy the occasion is -- all I know is that it's an evening wedding with reception at a historic casino. The bridesmaids are wearing pink, I hear. Do you think a knee-length black cocktail dress will work, or should I shop for something more colorful? Would love your thoughts!! Both of you are great resources!

Robin Givhan: Do you think they're plotting to have you show up in the wrong kind of attie?

knee length cocktail dress sounds fine. if you have something with color that is equally appropriate, i might wear that. you never know when a bride will get all pissy because one of the guests wore black. ha!

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Arlington, Va: I am going to Seattle in June for my friend's wedding. Problem is it themed and they are encouraging everyone to wear medieval attire. I am not doing this. Is a little black dress and strappy sandles OK?

Janet Bennett: I'm wondering if you read Robin's article on the party for the opening of the Costume Institute show at New York City's Metropolitan Museum of Art. Many of the partygoers wore 18th-century French dress.

Robin Givhan: are you making this up? i think you should go is suit of armor.

barring that, maybe you could wear a dress that has a little bit of boning or structure in teh bodice, something that echoes a corset without being one. but i'm with you. medieval attire is stupid. they should have eloped.

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Washington, D.C.: What color/type of shoes could I wear with a pink/peach satin long slip dress?

Robin Givhan: you could wear light colored shoes: taupe, dove gray, etch.


thanks for all the questions, folks. as always....a pleasure.

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Janet Bennett: As usual, weddings and what to wear are popular topics. We'll be back with more later on this summer.

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