Milan Puts On The Dog. Woof.

Christian Lacroix ended with a whimper - or rather, a terrible bang - with this gown for Pucci. (Maria Valentino - For The Washington Post)

Cavalli and Armani

Roberto Cavalli, in his secondary collection Just Cavalli, was inspired by Russian history. And so there were flouncy skirts and embroidered shearlings and models walking Russian wolfhounds down the catwalk. There were also T-shirts embellished with the image of matryoshka dolls outlined in crystals. It was unclear, however, exactly how sweaters decorated with large, yarn pompoms fit into what the history books teach.

Cavalli mixes miniskirts and heavy gold medallions with his embroidered jackets and creates a pimped-out Bolshevik aesthetic. This is not necessarily an unattractive proposition. But it is one that makes for video costumes and oddball fads rather than an enticing aesthetic worth pursuing.

Giorgio Armani presented both his Emporio collection and his signature label to an audience that was left checking the program notes for reassurance that they were, indeed, looking at a fall wardrobe. In Emporio Armani, the designer has created large, puffy bloomers that surround a woman's hips like an enormous silk faille diaper.

There are also knickers that fall to the mid-thigh, around which they are intended to button. These awkward short pants looked unappealing on extremely slender models, and one can only imagine how unfortunate they will look on an actual human thigh that is more than 10 inches in circumference.

Of course, the reality is that no one will ever be forced to reckon with bloomers and knickers and some of the most ill-proportioned shorts ever cut from wool crepe or silk. What retailer would buy such a thing? No, the beautiful jackets -- of which there were endless variations -- will be paired with trousers, full length and with the crotch in the proper position. The bloomers were for extravagant effect, for show. And it is fair for any designer to use his runway to make an exaggerated statement or to indulge his craft. But in doing so, the designer should also remember that he can never remove the woman from the equation. That even as he manipulates fabric, proportion and silhouette, he must always consider a woman's dignity, her comfort, her sense of self. In Armani's experimentation, in what he seems to consider his playfulness, there is little evidence that he realizes that he has made women -- to whom he has always shown such respect and imbued with such power -- the butt of his jokes.

Pollini, D&G, Ferretti

Rifat Ozbek continues to design for Pollini and this season his collection was inspired by the Harlem Renaissance and "tribal modernism." Models appeared in a mishmash of graphic prints, unsettling textures and cloches tagged with beads and feathers. The inspiration was rich with promise, but the execution required a lighter hand and a more graceful touch. Instead, one was left with a clunky collision of Zora Neale Hurston and Zulu princess.

The D&G secondary line from designers Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce was the usual mix of miniskirts, tiny jackets, skinny jeans and tight tops. This collection, shown Wednesday afternoon, was given a punk-rock spin, as the models had purple or red hair and wore glitter pantyhose. But the ideas were recycled and there was nothing on the runway that made one's heart beat a little faster.

The same was true for Alberta Ferretti's collection. It was likable enough with Empire-waist dresses, princess coats in cheerful colors and full skirts in sweet prints. And two years ago, one might have been full of breathless enthusiasm for it. But now it seems rather old and expected and mostly a snooze.

Much of what has been on the runway this season has been so head-spinning awful that it has been the visual equivalent of nails scratching down a chalkboard. Arggh! No more bloomers! No more boxy wool skirts that make one's rear end look like a cube! Why does that dress need off-the-shoulder sleeves and spaghetti straps? That dress makes the model look like a moose!

Pucci

The moose was on the Emilio Pucci runway Tuesday morning. Christian Lacroix designs this collection and, truth be told, all one really wants from it are simple frocks embellished with the signature multicolored Pucci prints. At times, Lacroix has offered his audience just that, and when he does, the collection is lovely -- if one likes big, swirling psychedelic patterns. For fall, however, Lacroix indulged in far too much shiny silk jersey, a fabric that does little to flatter the derriere of the thinnest model, and so one can only imagine the horrors it will wreak on the average rear end.

For fall, there are fur-trimmed jackets with pumped-up sleeves and only the occasional calmly chic dress that allows one to appreciate the exuberance of the bold prints. The finale dress was a fire engine red ball gown with a full skirt, a balloonlike bodice with puffy sleeves and an enormous bow set at a jaunty angle along the neckline. The model looked like a phantom materialized from the 1980s to haunt modern runways. The dress was monstrous. But worse than its unattractiveness is the added insult that its shape and sensibility have nothing to do with the sporty Pucci tradition. Instead, the dress reflects Lacroix's sense of extravagance and his tendency toward strokes of operatic boldness. The designer has his own label for that -- one that he presents in Paris. In Milan, his mandate is to interpret the Pucci aesthetic. Not only was this collection ugly, it wasn't even Pucci.