If you're not yet convinced that the United States of America is the most tolerant, broad-minded and forgiving nation on Earth, then you probably haven't been paying enough attention to the amazing careers of Snoop Dogg, the gangsta rapper, and Bob Shrum, the jinxed Democratic political consultant.
Fortunately, you can remedy your ignorance -- and increase your patriotism -- with one quick trip to the magazine stand. Blender, the music mag, contains an entertaining cover story on Snoop Dogg, "America's Favorite Pimp!" And Washington Monthly contains a delightful evisceration of Shrum and other hapless Democratic consultants.
Both articles will renew your faith in the good-heartedness of your fellow Americans -- although maybe not your faith in the good sense of your fellow Americans.
Let's take them one at a time. First, Snoop Dogg.
Born Calvin Broadus, Dogg, 33, grew up in Southern California, son of a single mom who called him Snoopy because she thought he looked like the Peanuts pooch. Young Snoop was, he tells Blender, expelled from elementary school for exposing himself and thrown out of high school for cussing and fighting. He joined the Crips street gang, got busted for selling crack and spent a year in jail.
Released from jail, Dogg became a rapper, specializing in songs glorifying pimping, smoking pot, killing cops and beating women. In 1993, he was charged with the murder of an Ethiopian immigrant. He was acquitted, but the hype helped promote his albums, which were all huge hits. Then Dogg branched out, hosting his own line of porn videos. He swears like a sailor, uses the N-word more often than a Klansman and recently told Rolling Stone magazine that he smokes two ounces of weed a day.
Okay, let's pause for a recap: Dogg is an ex-con, a former crack dealer and murder defendant, a pornographer and a foulmouthed dope fiend who advocates beating women. Last week a makeup artist sued him, alleging he and four buddies raped her after the taping of a late-night TV show (see The TV Column, Page C7). In some backward and benighted nations, these things could tend to hurt a man's career. But not in the United States.
Here in the most tolerant, broad-minded and forgiving nation on Earth, Dogg has become a multimedia superstar. He has acted in more than a dozen films, including such mainstream movies as "Starsky & Hutch." He published an autobiography, "Tha Doggfather." He hosts a satellite radio show and he starred in a popular video game and an MTV show called "Doggy Fizzle Televizzle."
Corporate America loves him. Rolling Stone recently reported that Dogg has been paid to endorse a cell phone and a malt liquor as well as his own line of shoes and his "Snoopafly" action figures.
Recently, he's gotten tons of heartwarming publicity for coaching his son's Pop Warner football team, teaching the 10-year-old tykes a new cheer: "Pimp, pimp hurray! Pimp, pimp hurray!"
America's amazing ability to forgive has enabled the old gangsta to become a lovable comic character -- rap's answer to Dean Martin.
"If pop music is a sitcom," writes Blender's Rob Tannenbaum, "Snoop is Uncle Gangsta, a charming rogue with a smile on his face and a blunt in his hand."
Blender's cover line sums it up nicely: "Snoop Dogg: Mean. Filthy. Hotter Than Ever."
In America, there's no limit to Snoop's possibilities. Someday he could be elected president. All he has to do is make sure his opponent hires Bob Shrum.
