• "On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love drummed into me an overall budget plan for the next 12 months." You will never get a grip on your holiday shopping or your overall finances without a plan. For easy-to-use, free budget forms, go to Budget Stretchers (www.homemoneyhelp.com/Budgetform.html).
And if that gift list seems too lackluster, try this. Think about how each person on your list has touched your life during the year and let him or her know in writing.
Truly the best gift I ever received from my husband was a multi-page letter. At the top of each page, he listed various roles I played. For example, on one page he wrote the word "Sister." He then listed all the things I had done for my siblings that year and how each act reminded him of why he loved me.
I've long since forgotten many of the things my husband has given me over more than 20 holidays together, but I hold on to that letter.
When it comes to children, try this tactic to keep from losing your grip.
Tell your children you won't get anything for them at Christmas that they saw on a television commercial (if you've already succumbed to their pleas, impose this rule next year). I tell you, this rule has been liberating for me. No more panic attacks about not getting the latest, hottest advertised toy. Effectively, this rule means you end up buying your children things they will play with for a long while or items that reflect what they actually like to do.
For example, my older daughter loves to write (wonder where she gets that!). So when she asked for a diary this year, I knew it was something she really wanted, not something a marketer said she should have to be cool.
It's hard not to get caught up in the holiday cheer. In fact, it's the cheer we crave. We like buying people things because it pleases them, and it pleases us too. Unfortunately, that desire to please leads to overconsumption and overspending, which leaves little room for the holiday spirit.
Keep your grip on what's important, and you're sure to enjoy the season without a lot of stress, debt and tears.
Michelle Singletary discusses personal finance Tuesdays on NPR's "Day to Day" show and online at www.npr.org. Readers can write to her at The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C., 20071 or send e-mail to singletarym@washpost.com. Comments and questions are welcome, but due to the volume of mail, personal responses may not be possible. Please also note that comments or questions may be used in a future column, with the writer's name, unless a specific request to do otherwise is indicated.
