Exercise? Count on It

The 125-calorie daily shortage may explain why I didn't add body weight during my experiment. But when I ended my experiment, I weighed 194, three pounds less than when I started.

Clearly, it's a delicate balance. In my determination not to cheat on the calories-out side or my modesty (a pause here for guffaws from my friends) about divulging absolutely every fact of my life, could I have overlooked some sources of energy burning?

Undoubtedly so. According to my calorie log, there were various splurges in my diet and occasional variations in my routine that sent my weight ping-ponging from 197 to 195 to 197 again. For example, I flew to Denver and back for a business meeting. One way, that consumed 426 calories; on the other hand, the in-flight snack box gave me about 400 calories, and the bloody marys added another 210. Of course, you also have to factor in the calories required to stand in line, answer the no-I-didn't-let-anybody-go-through-my-bags questions, remove my shoes for the obligatory scan, pull all the coins, keys, lint and compromising personal items out of my pockets and put them in the plastic container, walk to the gate, stand baffled at the arrivals screen and wonder why my departing flight isn't listed there, etc. It all adds up.

One night I went to a nightclub, where I stood socializing for three hours (536 calories out) after driving to the club (179 calories round trip), and consumed two cans of beer (aka "hydraulic sandwiches," 360 calories in). One day I helped the school with kickball class (223 calories), on another day I played chess with my 6-year-old (67 calories and nearly got stalemated).

Two parties in Denver crushed my daily average: In 10 hours of socializing (1,787 calories) I drank 12 draft beers (2,160) and snacked on hotel goodies (who knows how many calories?). All I know is, my pants were tight in the thighs on the flight home.

So when I got back I skipped meals (zero calories) or snacked on whatever was open (usually salty fried things, never fruit; don't ask me why) to keep hunger at bay. The kids' Halloween candy is gone.

After six days sans exercise I was accused of being moody by my wife, who actually uses the treadmill. I sourly countered that she was inordinately cheerful because of the holidays. My kids wanted to play, but I wanted to sleep in. I couldn't make confident decisions and my reaction time was slow.

My Fat-al Flaw

But my weight didn't go up, so I got that going for me, right? I proved I don't need to exercise to stay healthy, right?

Wrong.

"You're not out on a ranch hauling hay and doing things like that?" asks Tammy Hischke when I tell her about my experiment. Hischke is a perky fitness instructor and coordinator of functional assessments (testing metabolic rates and the like) for the Cooper Fitness Center in Dallas.