Plenty of Blame for Monday Night's Meltdown

Sometimes you have to wonder what the geniuses at the major network sports divisions are imbibing or inhaling when they make critical decisions about what we watch.

Take the opening segment before the start of ABC's Monday night game between the Dallas Cowboys and Philadelphia Eagles.

Just who was actually responsible for the synergy -- oh, how I despise that word -- that produced a way-over-the-top fictional locker room scene with Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens and one of the stars of the network's new hit prime time show, "Desperate Housewives?"

Which brain surgeon wrote the steamy dialogue between the two, with Nicolette Sheridan, wearing only a white towel over her birthday suit, telling Owens her house just burned down and she was looking for a place to take a hot shower?

Which rocket scientist conceived the plot that had Owens leering at the lovely lady before his eyes in the supposed minutes before the actual kickoff, then saying his team would "have to play this one without me," moments before Sheridan jumped into his arms?

Which Mensa member thought this was a really boffo idea, a can't-miss opening to a game that had little juice to begin with because of Philadelphia's vast superiority over a clearly inferior Cowboy team coached by another genius who had called his own players dumb just a week before?

Which nuclear physicist had final approval of the piece before it made it onto the airwaves, and what was he/she thinking would be the reaction to this almost soft-porn display?

The saddest part of all this is that we'll probably never know for sure, because on Tuesday, network, league and team spokesmen were scrambling at warp speed to release their prepared statements, and advising the true culprits to zip their lips and offer no comments.

Still, you'd have to point the largest finger toward "Monday Night Football" producer Fred Gaudelli, a long-time network veteran who really should have known better. Then again, we don't know if ABC Sports executive producer Mike Pearl, or Lorne Matthews, senior vice president for programming, had a hand in this, not to mention all those great minds in the entertainment division.

I'd say there's plenty of blame to go around, most of all the lethal synergistic combination of the sports and entertainment divisions teaming as one to concoct a pure piece of titillating trash designed to do one thing -- create more buzz that could translate into higher ratings for "Monday Night Football" and "Desperate Housewives" the next time they're on the schedule.

One would surmise that the deep thinkers responsible for this incident might have recalled the fallout from last January's R-rated Super Bowl halftime show, when Justin Timberlake's hand ripped Janet Jackson's costume and bared her right breast to a nationwide audience that tuned in for a football game and got a quick peep show to go with it.

As a result, the Federal Communications Commission fined the 20 CBS-owned stations $550,000 for an episode CBS still honestly believes wasn't its fault. Oh, please.

A cynic might say that the ABC people who concocted the MNF introduction earlier this week knew exactly what they were doing. After all, $550,000 would be a very small price to pay for all that -- pardon the expression -- exposure in front of one of the highest-rated audiences of the week. Why not push the envelope and see what happens?

The Eagles also bear some responsibility for not being more vigilant, particularly when it comes to anything involving Owens. The talented wide receiver has demonstrated over the years that he is willing to do anything or say anything to focus attention on himself. It's difficult to imagine the team couldn't see a potential disaster in the making when they learned there would a tie-in with a hit show that oozes with blatant sexual suggestion and lots of bare skin.

A team source admitted earlier in the week that the club clearly dropped the ball on this one, too, if only because ABC was given free rein at its facility, had ordered Eagles jerseys for possible use in the segment and essentially was left to its own devices in the locker room, which served as the setting for the intro.

And the NFL also needs to go wash its hands, even if the league deflected all blame toward the team and the network. In the aftermath of the Super Bowl incident, the league also admitted it had been less than vigilant in reviewing the frequently bump and grind halftime show that raised eyebrows across American long before Jackson's costume suffered its infamous malfunction.

The league constantly talks about its so-called partnership with its network and cable carriers. But with partners who keep trying to mix sex and football, perhaps the league ought to think about keeping a far more careful eye on its product. This is not about censorship. It's simply about good sense, which at least two of its "partners" haven't seemed to demonstrate on a national stage within the past nine months.