My 2002 New Year's Eve involved two main ingredients: me and a 5 p.m. showing of "Maid in Manhattan." Despite what you may have heard, it was a pretty good movie, but still -- I'm a plucky 28-year-old woman living in a big city, and I knew I could do better. So this year, I set a goal: I'd try out six major online dating sites to find a guy to smooch at midnight -- and, in the process, share what I learned with other swinging-single Sunday Source readers.
If you have any remaining squeamishness about online dating -- hi, Aunt Erma! -- it's time to get over it. Like cell phones, online dating is a fact of modern life; to think it's somehow desperate is so 2000. What's more, e-dating works: In the interest of thoroughness, I exchanged at least one e-mail, and sometimes a lot more, with approximately 75 men and went out with 12 of them. In the movies, there's always that montage of the heroine on dates with a string of bores, meatheads and weenies, but the majority of men I met were attractive, intelligent and considerate. They called when they were running late; they had attended Dartmouth and Northwestern; they asked me questions about myself. Yes, tracking them down and meeting them is time-consuming, but so is sitting around complaining about being single. Was there always, or ever, chemistry? You'll have to read both parts of this series to find out. Curtis Sittenfeld
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_____Previous Columns_____
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Equip Your PC With Free Software (The Washington Post, Jan 23, 2005)
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Find the Perfect Personal Trainer (The Washington Post, Jan 9, 2005)
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Navigate the Digital Music Scene (The Washington Post, Jan 2, 2005)
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Detox After the Holidays (The Washington Post, Dec 26, 2004)
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Pump Up Your Salary (The Washington Post, Dec 19, 2004)
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More Columns
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CRAIGSLIST
(washingtondc.craigslist.org)
Cost: Free
Who's On: According to Craigslist, November saw 340,000 personals postings (5,700 of them in the D.C. area), with men outnumbering women at least 3 to 1. Nationally, about a third of postings are men seeking men, but that doesn't hold locally, where more than 80 percent are men seeking women. CL doesn't track ethnicity.
Reputation: The T.J. Maxx of dating sites -- no fees, no photos, no fancy graphics, but some hidden gems. The "casual encounters" section is sexually explicit (and transactional in tone), but even the standard section contains similar posts. It also has some random ones, such as "Seeks Travel Companion for Five-Day Trip to Scandinavia." Guys skew a bit younger than on other sites (many are around 25).
Reality: My goal was to e-mail a guy and meet him the same day. But due to crossed e-mails, I didn't end up connecting with either of the two guys with whom I attempted this. Truthfully, I was relieved: The catch-22 of Craigslist is that anyone willing to meet you the same day you start e-mailing is probably sketchy or desperate enough that you shouldn't meet him. I ended up going out with a guy after e-mailing for four days and exchanging photos -- a conventional e-courtship.
What I Learned: One afternoon, I wrote a three-line posting that began "Anyone want to get a drink?" Within an hour, I had heard from 17 men -- and one woman -- and the e-mails continued pouring in for 36 hours. Some men suggested, in their first e-mail, a time and place to meet, including one generous offer of a hotel room. So in case you ever doubted it: There are a lot of lonely, horny people out there -- and most apparently have jobs that allow for plenty of recreational e-mailing.
Best/Worst Line: "Want to get married in Vegas this weekend?"
Grade: B
MATCH.COM
Cost: $24.95 a month
Who's On: Match claims approximately 12 million members, 58 percent of whom are men. Nationally, about 7 percent say they are black (in the District this goes up to 18 percent), while 5 percent each are Latino, Asian or biracial/multiracial. About 9 percent are looking for same-sex partners.
