John Kelly's Washington Live

Free-for-all Discussion

Post columnist John Kelly (The Washington Post)

John Kelly writes five times a week about the joys and annoyances of living in Washington. He aims to show readers the Washington (and Silver Spring, Alexandria, Manassas, Bowie ...) that they know and take them places they don't know. He wants to make them see familiar things in unfamiliar ways and unfamiliar things in familiar ways. ("We may occasionally end up seeing unfamiliar things in unfamiliar ways," John says, "but such are the risks of the job.") His columns take a cockeyed view of the place the rest of the planet knows as the Capital of the Free World but that we all call home. John rides the Metro for fun and once kidnapped an Irishman to see what made him tick.

Fridays at 1 p.m. ET John's online to chat about his columns and mull over anything that's on your mind. This week's columns:
The Wrong Spot for a Friendly Face , (Post, Oct. 29)
Now Is the Time for All Good Goblins . . ., (Post, Oct. 28)
Can't We All Just Get Along? , (Post, Oct. 27)
Catching the Sound of the City, (Oct. 26)
Answer Man: It's Hip to Be Square, (Post, Oct. 25)

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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John Kelly: Good morning. And when I say "good morning" I, of course, mean "good afternoon." (Unless you are on the West Coast, in which case I mean "good morning.") I want to thank all of you for joining me here and invite you to not just sit there reading the questions and comments that others have sent in, but to participate yourself in this, our national dialogue.

If you have no opinions on The Issues of the Day, then you're doubly invited to take part, because neither do I. In fact, I'll throw an easy request out for first-time chatters: What was your favorite Halloween costume?

Mine was probably the Beanie Baby outfit that My Lovely Wife made for me. She took a large gray hooded sweat suit and sewed on ears and a felt belly. She stuffed these with packing peanuts to give me that nice crunchy Beanie Baby feel. Then I made a large, heart-shaped ear tag that said I was Narky, the Narcoleptic Koala Bear, who fell asleep because of all the eucolyptus-scented cough syrup he drank. I even wore the costume to work a few years ago. (I left the cough syrup at home.)

This week's columns were on the mysterious license plates of the Free State Square Club, why some people say "Warshington," more on campaign sign-stealers, the aggravation of last-minute Halloween-costuming, and today's sad tale of a woman who's shutting down her downtown newsstand because people complained she was too friendly. Now off we go....

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Washington, D.C.: Today's article about Momma's eviction from the Homer Building sums up the reasons why this Washington native has come to hate his hometown. More than ever, this town has become dominated by pompous, spoiled Lexus-driving twits. Can't the self-impressed lawyers and lobbyists content themselves with beating up on one another and just leave happy, generous idiosyncratic people like Momma alone? Is one happy person in this town really such a bad thing? Or are the pompous twits jealous that anyone can be happy in the K-Street hell they've crafted for themselves. Better yet, if the rest of us start smiling and giving away candy, do you think we'll be able to frighten the Lexus crowd so much that they won't leave their mc mansions in Potomac and Great Falls and we'll be able to take our city back?

washingtonpost.com: The Wrong Spot for a Friendly Face , (Post, Oct. 29)

John Kelly: Momma is definitely the antithesis of Washington. I think people might have been suspicious of her. Why is she being so NICE? What's WRONG with her? And she is perhaps borderline annoying. But a lot of people loved her. She'd been there not even a month and a half and she had tons of people stopping by to wish her well. And if you didn't like her, you could just avoid her. One guy I spoke with said this really illustrated Washington to him. He'd lived all over the country and D.C. was the rudest. He thinks it's a "government" mentality, that so many Washingtonians have to toe the line for the Feds, dotting every i and crossing every t, that they can't be flexible. They're so afraid of getting in trouble at work for not filling out a form right that they take it out on others. Unfair? True? Is Washington rude?

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Somewhere between K Street and Rockville, Md.: Posting early as I will be on the road between offices during today's chat.

Having talked to some friends and my own experience at home it appears that costume (whom/what to be)is a very fluid thing. My daughter has had about a half dozen ideas in the past 2 months, and her costume - home made thanks to my wonderful wife's skills with felt, thread, and a feather, assisted by my meagar (sp) skills - was completed last evening, in time for today's school based festivities as well as Sunday's main event.

Until I started working in Arlington, the bane of my driving was getting over the Potomac on anything other that the 14th St, Key, or Memorial Bridges. I would be trying to get just to the other side, and could end up in Fairfax before things were done. Now I can get to where I want to be 95% of the time, unless it is the 4th and half the ramps are closed, in which case I just keep going until I get to a familiar road.

In my house there is no "R" in Washington. I was born around here, grew up around here, and still live around here. That was something my cousines, aunts, and uncles that did not grow up around here may have slipped in every now and again. And now that I live in Silver Spring (and have also learned to read well) there is no "S" on the end. That may have been something I added when I was a toddler and went with my mom to shop at the Hecht Co. (now City Palce).

John Kelly: Answering early because I always try to get a little ahead before the chat starts...

Re costumes: Some kids know for months exactly what they're going to be and never deviate. Others wait till the last minute They're just like adults that way, I guess. When I started the column I tried to talk to some experts on the brain chemistry of children, and how they develop and make decisions differently from adults. Then I said screw it, I'll just go to a costume store, and the very first kid I ran into was in indecisive Hamlet mode.

Re the Potomac: I gather that you relied on roads you knew, afraid to deviate lest you got lost? A lot of us do that.

Re the R: Readers were up in arms about this. I hope my column didn't give the impression that "Warshington" is the proper pronunciation. Or that it's incorrect. It's neither, or both. Or a floor wax and a dessert topping. Or my sister, my mother, my sister, my mother....What I mean is linguists recognize both ways of saying it. It gets into issues of class and race that I didn't have room to explore, but may one day.

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John Kelly: Our unbroken streak continues. This just in from the Associated Press:

Smoke in Metro tunnel
WASHINGTON (AP) — Metro's Orange and Blue Line trains are sharing a single track in Southeast Washington because of smoke in the tunnel.
D-C firefighters are checking on the source of the smoke. There's no reports of any injuries.
Metro says the trains will alternate on one track between Stadium Armory and Eastern Market.

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Arlington, Va.: I hardly ever get Trick-or-Treaters where I live, and I hate to make a special trip to the store to buy a bag of candy that would just go to waste if no one shows. I do already have a carton of Camels in the house. Do you think I can just fall back on those if someone comes to my door?

washingtonpost.com: Now Is the Time for All Good Goblins . . ., (Post, Oct. 28)

John Kelly: I think if you do, the next person you'll have at the door is someone dressed as a cop. And he won't be pretending. You can do what my roommate and I did in college when we ran out of candy: throw loose change into their bags.

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Getting Jerked Around in Washington, D.C.: What is up with some Metro drivers being unable to make a smooth stop? This morning I was thrown halfway down a car when an Orange Line train jerked to a halt! I was holding on with two hands, too! I find it hard to believe that they wouldn't be alerted in enough time if they were coming up on anothe stopped train. I've been on Metro enough to know it's possible to stop without throwing everyone around. And Metro wonders why passengers get sick!

John Kelly: Here's the explanation, courtesy of Metro's Steven Taubenkibel: Metro's trains run in an automatic mode. They're designed to sort of automatically travel through the system, guided by a computer (and driver, of course). Sensors on underside of the trains sync up with sensors on the track bed (they're those square boxes you see). Occasionally because of computer glitches the train doesn't stop at the right place. Like an actor hitting his mark, there are places the four- and six-car trains are supposed to stop. When it doesn't stop in the right place, the driver has to take the train out of automatic mode, put it in manual mode, then nudge it forward a bit.

Another problem happens when there is a train ahead that's stopped or moving slowly. The system won't allow trains to get too close together. Whatever the reason, the driver should warn you to hold on if he needs to tap the gas and then the brakes.

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Southwest, Washington, D.C.: Momma's eviction shows DC is a place where we simply don't want too much exhuberence. We're serious folks here. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's not just DC, however, Wal-Mart, which may soon be coming to the area but is still strongest in the 'burbs, won't be carrying comedian George Carlin's new book, because, it says, a product must appeal to a majority or not be carried at all. Reuters quotes a Wal-Mart rep as saying that the book was not being stocked in Wal-Mart stores because the company felt it "would not appeal to a majority of our customers." Wal-Mart, one might cautioiusly add, is putting in a lot of money to defeat a Calfornia proposition to require employers to give a certain level of health care coverage to employees. Out with Momma, in with Wal-Mart!; People vote with their wallets.

John Kelly: When someone says something would not appeal to the majority of their customers, I think what they're saying is it would alienate many of their customers. But we live in a world where we have to learn to deal with things we don't like. If I hear a song on the radio I don't like, I turn it off, change the station or pop in a CD. I don't complain to the radio station, or to the FCC.

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Anonymous - Campaign Signs: Here's what I don't get: Do the people who litter the landscape REALLY think that posting KERRY-EDWARDS KERRY-EDWARDS KERRY-EDWARDS three feet apart for six blocks along Rte. 50 is going to change anyone's mind? More than ONE sign would?

John Kelly: Or that REMOVING a Kerry-Edwards or Bush-Cheney sign is going to do anything? I suppose it annoys some people when they see a patch of ground covered with signs for the OTHER guy. But if I was a candidate, would I want supporters who voted for me ONLY BECAUSE THEY LIKE MY SIGN? I guess you take those votes any way you can get 'em.

It all reminds me of an Onion story a saw a while back, where a guy says it wasn't the first, or the second, or the third, or the fourth, or the fifth, or the sixth subscription card that fell out of his Time magazine that got him to subscribe. It was the SEVENTH. That's the one that convinced him.

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John Kelly: And I APOLOGIZE for my suddden AFFECTION for the CAPS LOCK key.

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Washington D.C.: John--
Just to be clear, "Momma" was not evicted (as another poster claims) from the building, was she? It was my understanding from both your article and as a tenant in the Homer building that her son decided to terminate their lease on their own accord. Let's not mislead readers to the actuality of the situation.
Thank you

John Kelly: You are correct. As I said in my column, the son decided to shut his operation down barely a month after it started. He had signed a three-year lease with the building management. The managers had even come back down and had him sign it again, because it hadn't been witnessed. Then they said they wanted to change the terms to a 30-day lease, evidently because some people found Momma offputting. Paul Yi thought it didn't make business sense to go in short-term like that.

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Anonymous - Political Divide: Your column of 10/27 takes me back to a job interview I had in DC in the early 70's. I worked for a conservative organization right out of college, and then interviewed with a contractor for DOL and the now defunct Ofc of Economic Opportunity. After the first interview, I was team-interviewed. One of the guys on the team was a typical leftie of the times, and said "I just don't know if we'll get along, given where you're coming from." I replied, "Jon, I'll give it a shot if you will." I think that was the deciding comment that got me the job. (Liberals can be intolerant, too, y'see.)

washingtonpost.com: Can't We All Just Get Along? , (Post, Oct. 27)

John Kelly: That's a good all-purpose answer: "I'll give it a shot if you will." I have a colleague who ran into something similar from the other side. She was interviewing a few months back at the New York Sun, that newish, conservative paper. It was for a reporting job. They interviewer asked who she was going to vote for in the presidential election. She said, "You can't really ask me that, can you?" They decided they probably couldn't get along with her

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Reston, Va.: What if we dont want trick or treaters? My wife and I moved into an old neighborhood with lots of kids while we ourselves do not have/want children. And the fact is we both have never liked Halloween. Are we obligated to buy candy, or can we just leave the lights off?

John Kelly: You should go out to dinner and movie. Or if you insist on staying home, you should make sure the porch light is off. You may want to crouch in the basement too.

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Washington, D.C.: Washington is the rudest place I have ever been. Granted, I grew up around Southern hospitality, but in Washington if you smile randomly at a stranger they get angry (I have actually had this happen here). I don't understand it because so many of us are from elsewhere - is it some "disease" that takes time to cultivate? Will I eventually succumb?

John Kelly: I have a friend here at work named Roger who could do a perfect imitation of people passing each other in The Post's halls: looking straight ahead and then swiveling their heads away at the last moment so they wouldn't be forced to make eye contact. I think we've warmed up since then, but we aren't as effusive as, say, Italians are. I say fight it. Smile at people. Look them in the eye. The worst they can do is arrest you.

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Damascus (Maryland, not the Middle East): What ethnic group do you think the new baseball team's name should offend? It's never too early to plan. . .

John Kelly: I think we should offend the Belgians. That could be tough, though.

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Arlington, Va.: John, I can't believe how snooty the Homer building rep was about the newspaper stand!; I mean why does D.C think it's so privileged... Momma would be treated better in New York!; I wish more people smiled on the metro and I can tell you that D.C. Bethesda and Arlington are full of people who are FULL of themselves!;

John Kelly: I wonder why that is. Any ideas out there? Can it really be a byproduct of the Federal government? Do we button down our personalities when we button down our shirts? We need some anthropologists to stalk around town with clipboards, observing our behavior.

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Old Dominion, Va.: Virginia has WAY too many license plate options... in fact I'm surprised that state and local police forces don't complain about that, I think it would be confusing for them. And I agree with you about colleges -- they should only have plates for in-state schools.

John Kelly: Only South Carolina (208) and Maryland (700 plus) have more organizational tags than Virginia (148). Most states offer around 50. Maryland is really quite amazing. If I can think of a way to spin off a nonprofit group from this column, I'm thinking of getting some John Kelly license plates. What bothered me about the other colleges was that all those teams used to beat Maryland at football. It's like the DMV let others rub our noses in it.

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Silver Spring, Md.: My favorite Halloween costume, when I used to do such things, was the Invisible Man -- I wore a suit, gloves, hat, and sunglasses, and wrapped my head in gauze (OK, a doctor friend did that). We cut holes for me to see and bretah through, and I carried a straw to enable me to partake of appropriate beverages.

John Kelly: That's a good one. Not as good as actually BEING invisible, but pretty good nonetheless.

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Brussels, Belgium: And they can sell french fries with mayonnaise in the stands!;

John Kelly: Since the team is coming from Quebec, they should sell poutine, that disgusting yet mildly addictive cottage fry/cheese curd concoction.

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Petworth, Washington, D.C.: NEW Washington is rude. It's all those uptight people who are moving in.

Seriously, I live in a neighborhood that is mostly full of people that have been here a long time. They're nice. They're friendly. They're neighborly. I found the same thing when I lived in Mount Pleasant 15 years ago, and in Shaw before that.

I did not find that true when I lived in Foggy Bottom.

And I do not find it true of the new (rich and generally white and generally from the burbs or out of town) people moving in to my neighborhood. I've seen these changes in other neighborhoods too.

I think that the older way is passing, and DC is slowly changing from a collection of small towns (neighborhoods) where all the neighbors know each other into a place where everyone's here for a job or for the real estate appreciation!;

I'm so sorry to see it happening, but... My new neighbors need to take a lesson from those of us who have been here a long time - we're neighbors. We live together, we work together, we ought to be friendly.

But you know, I have to admit that it sounds like Mama may have just been a bit over the top even for me.

John Kelly: But how much of it can be blamed on the city itself, some miasmic mindset that permeates the air? I ask because I think of the way people respond to different cities. If you move to San Francisco, San Francisco is probably going to have more of an impact on you than you are on it. Same with Paris or Rome. (Or Baghdad?) If DC's neighborhoods are so friendly, why aren't the newcomers who move into them made more friendly, rather than bringing the whole place down?

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Winston-Salem, Kent-Viceroy: Have you been surveyed by pollsters this season? I don't know a soul who has been. Not one. Nada. Zippo. I'll bet none of your chat visitors have been either.

I think those results are all a big conspiracy put forward by The Media to give them something to write about. Comments? Questions? Denials?

John Kelly: I haven't been because I always say I'm a journalist and so can't answer their questions. But I have been called. Anyone out there in chatland willing to admit to answering questions this election season?

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Nordstrom, Va. : Do people who complain that Washington is buttoned-down really think that open collars with those plastic white stays will help? I don't want to see the chest hair curling out of the top of your shirt. I don't mean you personally.

Well, I guess I do. . .

John Kelly: Hey, I wax my chest as much as the next guy. Even worse than hair spilling out of an open collar, though, is hair peeking out of a buttoned down collar.

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DC or D.C.: Newbie to the District with a grammer question--- is it DC or D.C. I see it both ways constantly and wondering if there was one way it is supposed to be or is it a case-by-case basis or do people just make it up on their own.

Thanks!

washingtonpost.com: The Washington Post style is Washington, D.C.

John Kelly: That is correct. Remember that "D.C." stands for "District of Columbia."

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Waffle House in California: Re: Belgium up in arms over name choice!;:
The Washington Walloons!; I like it. As they, the Walloons, fielded an elite division for the WWII Eastern Front, they should get the endorsement of the Washington Times, at least.

John Kelly: And on Family Night they could hand out balloons to all the kids. Walloon Balloons!

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Homer Bldg Resident: While I have only spoke to Momma once or twice, she was always very sweet, honest and nice. I think your question about the rudeness of DC people is that everything is based on "status". What job position you have, how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, where you live. Momma is an older, Asian woman with a heavy accent who dressed modestly. I wonder if the person who complained about her knew her family was worth millions, would they had made the same complaint.

BTW, My favorite costume so-far... a tee shirt with "ABC 123" on it. I was easy.

John Kelly: That's a very interesting point. We adjust our expectations based on where we perceive ourselves and others on some sort of scale. I'm always interested in hearing what others do for work because I think, at bottom, my job is probably pretty boring compared to theirs. But it's a Washington cocktail party cliche to ask someone what he does. I think it's okay to be interested. It's not okay to stalk off if he doesn't do something worthy of your attention.

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Signs, Buttons, Etc.: In my workplace, some are wearing buttons for their chosen candidates. Recently the question was posed to HR--isn't this against our "policy." So, it isn't just yard signs people are getting all upset about. I think everyone should just take a deep breath and calm down!; What ever happened to respectful disagreement and discussion.

Maybe Washington has become a really unfriendly place...

John Kelly: People do seem edgy. I wonder if things will feel any different on Wednesday. Or will it be worse? Boy I just hope there's a clear winner.

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Gaithersburg, Md.: Well I have not been polled or gotten a prerecorded lie, but a buddy of mine up near pittsburgh is about to cut his phone, cable lines at the street level, and then get a chain saw and cut down his mail box......... one day he said he got like 45 pieces of election junk mail

Glad I live in a solid color state no matter what color it is

John Kelly: And we've been spared all the TV ads. You'll recall that when the Do Not Call law was passed last year, the politicians exempted themselves.

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Foggy Bottom, Washington, D.C.: Your column today really made me sad. With the sorry state of customer service in this city today, we should be welcoming people like Momma in the service industry, not shooing them away. Sure, sometimes you just want to get in, buy your paper, and continue on with your busy, important life. But is it so difficult to smile and exchange pleasantries with someone who clearly loves her job? So very sad....

John Kelly: I've been wanting to do a column on this. Not so much the sorry state of customer service as how sad so many service industry workers make me. At best they look phenomenally bored; at worst, sad and empty. I may be a Pollyanna, but I've had fun in every job I've had. I may not have like them all equally, but I've been able to keep myself entertained. so many workers these days are just morose, like they're stuck on a prison barge or something. Cheer up!

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Washington, D.C. : I have to comment on the rudeness. I don't mind not being acknowledged on the street (from the Midwest) - some mornings I just want to drink my coffee from my Metro-approved travel mug on my way to work. But what I cannot stand, and I have brought up in another chat, is how men are -constantly- hitting on me. And, as it turns out, this happens to other women too. It is only a phenomena(sp?) of DC. So why is that? Why do men in the District think it's OK to say "Hey baby" to a perfect stranger? At 6:30 in the morning?? Drives me truly batty. I would throw my coffee at them but those Metro mugs are hard to come by.

John Kelly: I have never said "Hey baby" to a woman on the street, unless it was My Lovely Wife and I was being ironical. I think there are some men who use the direct-marketing approach to romance. The way that direct marketers send out 10 million envelopes in the hopes that 2 percent will get a response, these guys say "Hey baby" to every single woman they see. They may get shot down 98 percent of the time, but that 2 percent "success" rate makes it worth it.

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John Kelly: Here's the latest on that Orange/Blue line disruption:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Part of Metro's Orange and Blue lines are shut while firefighters investigate smoke in a tunnel.
Trains from Virginia are only going as far as Eastern Market. Trains from Maryland only run to Stadium-Armory. Metro is calling in shuttle buses to run between those two stations.
D-C firefighters are checking on the source of the smoke. There's no reports of any injuries.

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Arlington, Va.: Re: Washington Attitude

Hi John,

Two things... I've noticed that there is a noticeable change in attitude the further you get from D.C. Has anyone else noticed this? Out in Reston, people actually form a line to get onto the bus, and they graciously thank the driver. By the time you hit Arlington, no one is willing to cede their chance to jump onto the bus first. And the city is even worse.

About Southern hospitality. I'm from New England, and I find people in the South to be so syrupy sweet and effusively fake that it drives me crazy. I'm glad this area isn't like that -- I'd have to move!; So I guess "attitude" and what people prefer may be based more on perspective.

John Kelly: A lot of it does come down to what people prefer. Someone from the South would say that you're a cold-hearted Yankee skinflint. Someone from the South would say that even if their hospitality strikes you as "fake" it's the syrup that greases the wheels that keeps the politesse rolling. To me, the ultimate rudeness isn't being mean to someone. It's ignoring them. Refusing to acknowledge their humanity. I don't think we have to be "hey baby"-ing every woman on the street or insisting on man-hugs, but we at least should admit we're in this all together, whether "this" is a busline or the checkout line at a newsstand.

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Gaithersburg, Md.: Given the redskins predictive qualities of prez election. Do you think if GB wins bush will launch an attack ad saying that snyder or gibbs were paid off by the kerry camp to throw the game, or vice versa...?

John Kelly: Now when you say "if GB wins," do you mean Green Bay or George Bush?

See today's Tom the Dancing Bug comic in the Weekend section for an interesting take on Dubya's "I'm never wrong" mindset.

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New York, N.Y.: As someone who is naturally reserved with strangers, I might find it a bit off-putting to have a friendly reaction essentially forced out of me. (Eg., I cannot STAND being told to smile, by anyone.) Furthermore, in big cities people in general keep their distance more. These boundaries are conextual, of course--it's possible Mama wouldn't bother me--but not everyone wants to interact with strangers any more than the bare minimum. And maybe Mama didn't "get" that.

One time here in NYC, a guy stood right by the subway exit and leaned into strangers,t elling them "Hello!; Hello!; Smile everyone!;" Whenever people reacted negatively he'd yell "I'm just saying HI!;!;"

Weird. Sometimes a person can be too friendly. 'Sall I'm saying.

John Kelly: While it's true that people in big cities keep their distance, they also often exhibit a sort of solidarity. I was on the T in Boston once and a little girl was prancing around in the train car. She accidentally stepped on my wife's foot. The girl's parent got all apologetic, and mad at the kid. My wife said, "Oh it's okay, I have two myself at home." Without missing a beat a guy sitting nearby said, "Two what? Feet?" It made that train car the best place to be on the planet at that particular instant.

Being told to smile is weird, though.

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Washington, D.C.: I have to say that being friendly in DC is difficult if you are a women. I am very friendly, say hi to everyone that I see in the morning when I walk to work.

But lately, I've stopped because I get hit on soooo much. Or asked for money. Or yelled at when I won't give money. Or asked for a cigarette.

I am genuinely friendly but man, early in the morning I get tired of the crap I get. It's just easier to put your head down and move forward.

John Kelly: Well, men are pigs, I guess. There is a fine line. It's too bad that some people forget that there's a line at all.

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Washington, D.C.: Where is my absentee ballot!!!
I sent my DC voter registration in about 5 weeks ago and my absentee ballot request about 4 weeks ago. So far, I've heard nothing and have not received my absentee ballot. Any ideas?

John Kelly: I guess you'll get your absentee ballot on Wednesday. It might be too late for this year, but look on the bright side: You'll be first in line for 2008!

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John Kelly: Thanks for stopping by today. I'm off to snap some photos for Monday's column, where I blow the lid off...well, you'll just have to see. I don't so much blow the lid as lift it. And it's not really a lid. More of a, I don't know, plank.

Anyhoo, I think everyone for being so polite during today's chat. Enjoy your weekend and don't forget to vote on Tuesday.

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