Whenever you see a guest on a TV show, you wonder how he or she was chosen to appear. It's not as simple as it looks. The guests are produced by "bookers."
Every program has bookers. They are pretty young women who hope someday to find fame and fortune in television, like Katie Couric and Diane Sawyer. They wear pants and sneakers so they can move around fast. This is their job.
A producer says, "Get me John McCain for the show."
The booker is off and running. She returns an hour later and says, "McCain is spoken for on 'Meet the Press.' "
"All right, then get me the schoolteacher who had sex with a 14-year-old student."
The booker makes several telephone calls and then returns to announce, "Barbara Walters has her tied up. The teacher says when it comes to affairs between young boys and teachers, she knows Barbara will be more sympathetic."
"All right. Sign on Michael Jackson."
The booker flies to Santa Barbara and calls back, "Geraldo Rivera claims he has exclusive rights to Jackson and any boys he may have slept with."
The producer says, "Damn. Come back. We want Donald Trump."
The booker replies, "We have to stand in line for him. He is on every talk show in America."
The producer says, "Your job is to get guests for the show. If you can't, we'll find someone who can."
The booker starts to cry.
The producer says, "Bookers don't cry. Now when you get back I want you to go up to Sing Sing and find a man on death row who committed a heinous crime."
"What can we offer him?"
