When my husband, Ben Bradlee, stepped down as executive editor of The Washington Post 13 years ago, a well-known movie director took me aside in New York. "You can't let Ben do this," he said. "Don't you realize that all over Washington people will be scratching your names out of their little black book?"
"Anyone who would scratch our names out of their little black book," I replied, "is not in mine to begin with."
It was true. The only person who stopped calling, after two or three calls a week for 20 years, was Jesse Jackson. Somehow, we managed.
Harry Truman famously said, "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog." That couldn't be less true. The fact is you have to have good friends in order to survive.
Of course it's human nature to want to cozy up to power. That's what this city is all about. And if you're a player, you want to be where the action is.
So it's only natural that six days before a presidential election people are looking around and examining their places in the hierarchy. They are wondering whether they will maintain their status, upgrade it or lose it altogether. These can be desperate times.
For those who have never been through this process, or even for those who have but don't remember how stressful things can get, here are a few simple rules to help keep things in perspective.
Rule Number 1:
Never, never, never count anyone out, unless you have seen the body with a stake through the heart. Because they always come back. Don Rumsfeld is a perfect example. He has had more incarnations than anyone in this city. Whoever thought he would be back again as secretary of defense? All those years he was out there running a business in Chicago and sending Christmas cards to his friends in Washington, nobody ever suspected he would return in the same job and be more powerful than ever at age 71.
Most of the people on the 9/11 commission had left town or been counted out. All of a sudden they were in the news every day and being courted again. Bob Kerrey and Jamie Gorelick were just two who found renewed interest among Washingtonians.
See how desperately people have begun trying to renew their relationships with John and Teresa Kerry and those close to them -- after initially dismissing his run for the presidency as laughable? Notice how people have quietly begun counting out Colin Powell, since he has made it known that he would not go for another term as secretary of state even if President Bush wins? Big mistake. Colin Powell is still going to matter.
Rule Number 2:
If you decide to stay here once you've lost power or lost access to it, make sure you're staying for the right reasons. Does Washington seem like home to you? Do you have a circle of friends you can count on? People who come here in positions of power -- and most people come from somewhere else -- tend to hang around, waiting for another chance. It's not called Potomac Fever for nothing.
After the legendary newsman David Brinkley retired, he and his wife decided to leave Washington. They had seen what happened to so many who stayed behind, and they didn't want that to happen to them. But they were the exception.
